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  • Category: Marriage

    What is the cause of extra marital affairs?

    I have seen so many extra-marital affairs. Wondering,what would be the cause? Even couples who seems happy in marital life has extra marital affairs. Why? What do you think would be the cause for extra marital affairs?
  • #34119
    Well it is very difficult to just pin point a single cause for any extramarital affair. The causes are multiple and complex.

    Extramarital affairs have been prevalent in our society for a long time. The only difference is that now they are being talked about more openly and frankly.
    The reasons could be diversified such as incompatibility , financial issues , insecurity , abusing , tangentially opposite backgrounds , age differences etc.
    The present day work culture and the current upward trend in social interactions also aid in nourishing them. Values like commitment are being replaced by 'experimenting'.
    Its a very sorry state and needs to be analysed and looked into.

  • #34135
    First common reason is lack of good relations between wife and husband.
    Other social reasons may be like want of money. It may be in both the ways, either of the sex.
    The other reason is excess of money, time and resources.
    Take it easy policy of this generation is another reason.
    Earning of husband in other countries may lead to this to both.
    Less affection to children may lead to this.
    Finally I would like to say that chances are more now-a-days,so we are slowly on the track of western culture as per observations.

  • #34140
    Dear all,

    In India the problem of Extra marital relationship is less when compared to other Countries. The main reason for male or female to have extra marital relationship is that they are not happy with the marriage. In India generally marriages are arranged. The bride or bride groom have no much say in choosing their life partners.

    Parents of bride and bride groom decide the marriage looking at the caste, sub caste ,family status, Dowry etc.,. The boy or the girl have very little say in putting forth their preferences and liking about the partners. After the marriage they find adjustment problems like the girl is not compatible with the boy or the boy is not compatible with the girl.

    Eventhough the couples have misunderstandings they are forced to hide their misunderstandings due to the fear of parents, family, relatives and the Society as a whole. Therefore they resort to extra marital relationship to meet their unfulfilled desires.

    With Regards and Best wishes,


    "There is no substitute for hard work"
    -Thomas Alva Edison

  • #34148
    Extra marital affairs is happening because of the frustration with the partner. If the partner is unable to satisfy (Can be Monetary, Sexual or Materialistic requirements) then he/she has more chances of getting involved in extra marital affairs.

    I dont agree to the point that extra marital affiairs are very less in India.The fact is that in India, the extra marital affairs is not exposed publicly because of the fear towards the society.
    The extra marital affairs can occur both in arranged marriages and love marriages.This is just because they havent understood each other before the marriage.

  • #34183
    Dear friend,

    First of all I like to say thanks to bring a great issue from our society.

    You are right, extra marital affairs are now a big issue in our society and day by day this is increasing but why this affairs? I had find out some points from the practical situation.

    Happiness in the conjugal life is depending on the mentally and physically both side. If the both sides are not matching between husband and wife that time partner can be interested on extra marital affairs.

    Before marriage every body is having one or more girl friend / boy friend and they have a good relation even sometimes deep relation. After get married if they meet with old girl / boy friend, they are try to share about married life each others and this way they become more close and feel thirsty to get them more closely.

    If husband not get the sex satisfaction from wife, that time he start to search for another good partner to enjoy himself. This problem is a great issue in the conjugal life. When wife became mother, she always try to spend her time with baby and maximum time she don’t try to understand her husbands demand and the result is extra marital affairs.

    Another great issue is age difference between husband and wife. Let me say about this issue from a practical story around me. Husband 40+ and wife 25 ages. Husband can’t give her enough satisfaction and wife is so young and she needs more and that’s why she chooses a neighbor to share her sex life.

    Lot of husbands are passing their full day with professional works even after evening passing time with friend’s circle and coming back to wife around late night. Maximum time he is getting tired and not sharing with his wife and result is coming extra marital affair.

    In the practical life maximum husbands and wife’s demand is not equal. If wife needs everyday sex satisfaction husband not interested or husband needs but wife is not interested and this is the big reason to involve with extra affairs.

    Some body is always looking for different test. They are not satisfied with one test. That’s why he / she is always looking for a chance to get some new test in the life and this way they are involving with extra affairs.

    The major issue is: maximum persons are having love affair in the student life or first stage of youth and few of them are getting married with lover and some of them are not getting this chance and missing their lover. First love no body can forget and carrying that past in the conjugal life also. When they get married with other person, that time also they feel about first love / lover and always try to communicate with him / her and try to come close. If they get the chance both are meeting closely to share their first love and first feelings.

    Finally I want to say, maximum extra affairs are creating due to not matching demand between husband and wife.

  • #34215
    Dear friend,

    No one will be able to give the correct answer for this question this is because all it depends on human nature.
    The main reason behind it that men or women are always expecting new things to happen in their life as they get bored of the daily routine life cycle.
    This can be controlled if we learn to keep control on our feelings, share our views, expectations with our life partner.

  • #34220
    There are many causes by which extra-marital affair happens, the things which are noted by me, are follows:

    1. Ego of spouse:
    This is first thing I have ever noticed between husband and wife quarrel. If one of the person is egoistic, he/she will suppose to dominated the other partner and by the time condition becomes bad and leads to extra marital affairs and finally, leads to divorce.

    2. Revenge:
    If somebody has emotional or sexual relation before marriage, and after marriage, the other spouse came to know about that relation, this will give a bad effect on the marriage. This case is maximum in terms of man. So, to take revenge from the partner, they indulge in any other extra marital affair.

    3. Social Background:
    Every person has different habitat, and after marriage there is problem in adjusting according to each other, which is really difficult for a woman. If they do not understand each others willing and emotions will lead to affair.

    4. Inter religion or inter caste marriage:
    I know this is very difficult to say but it is true that inter-religion or inter-caste marriage is always being opposed by the community, normally in India, where there are many types or caste and creed reside. By this opposition things happen to be divorced or affairs.

    5. Sexual Desire:
    I just want to say that No desire is fulfilled, until you try to control it! If a spouse is not happy with other spouse, they go for an affair to fulfill the desire they want.

    Life is full of surprises and compromises!

  • #34229
    No single reason should be blamed for extra marital affairs . There are as many reasons as number of people involved in such affairs . Mostly it displays a lack of marital bond between husband and wife .

    To start with we can say it is lack of attraction between husband and wife .Husband and wife togather is the smallest unit as a family . Each of them has to create a bond of attraction and their lives revolves around each other . If they are not happy with each other then any one of them can search for pleasure outside .

    It is circumstances . Life sometimes serves as a cruel agent to place people in strange situations . And people with lesser will power gets attracted to 'the other' , and extra marital affair happens .

    Everyone needs a friend , or we should say an attentive ear to listen to our heart . If husband or wife doesnot find that lending ear in their spouse and finds it elsewhere , then extra marital affair happens .

    Health and sexual intimacy plays a crucial role in happy married life . If either of the spouse is sexually cold or suffers from any disease then it is possible to seek pleasue in outside marriage.

    Some people are like that , for them extra marital affair is not something of an offence .

    Social morality is fast decreasing . Easy access to porn , and other inducive atmosphere are contributing to it .

    Certain jobs are creating vaccuum among couples . Fast life is compelling both husband and wife to work outside and sometimes during the night too . So situations for extra marital affairs are created .

    Runa N. Borah.

  • #34427
    The main cause of extra affairs is due to misunderstanding between couples. Even though if it is a arranged or love marriage they should come to the end of adjustment and sacrifice.

    Unless doing that they start showing their ego's, anger, etc.. which may lead to dissatisfaction among them and find new one is better for their life.

    Nowadays husband may be in abroad and housewife be alone in home which may take her into a wrong way by wrong friends or neighbours as like this husband's working in other stations or in a roaming job his atmosphere and culture takes him into a wrong way.

    In many cases couples may be in working condtion they may leave home very late and anyone will be tired and don't have time to keep sex so the other will get disappointed that could be also a reason for external affairs.

    Best regards,

    "Someone who cant accept you at your worst.., has no rights to be with you at your best..!

  • #34698
    Good , the issue has been well analysed and answered by all . however extramarital affairs can be minimised if parents bring their children imparting in their minds about the importance of moral values and ethics .Then comes the role of teachers, friends and collegues. however the foundation laid by the parents is vital for the superstructure being built up by teachers , friends etc.,Children should be guarded against evil sources.One should respect his conscience and act accordingly.

  • #34705
    Actually extramarital relation love is eternal or never solution problem. From our 1000s years of history it is seen that extramarital affairs happened also happened in our epics like The Mahavarata.Here all the characters is God and Lord Krishna was above all but he was also accused of extramarital affairs; so if our God or Goddess had an affair of extramarital then if the men or women have an extramarital love then there is no offence.
    The actual fact is that it is the nature of human being that every woman or men wants an extramarital affairs may be in conscious way or inconcious way. if anyone say that he does not want such relation then I must say he is the biggest lier.
    It is just like a eating of forbidden fruit.It is one kind of adventure.
    Actually every human wants some liberty from all familiar responsibilities and needs some very personal time in which no personal problem will flow but can make fly his free mind like a free bird.It is fact that every married man or woman performs his duties towards his family but may not give 100% and can remain 10% for his personal affairs. This 10% he or she may use for his personal wish like extramarital affairs.
    I think it is not bad if he or she performs his responsibility towards his family but must control everything. It gives energy to have sexually satisfaction, mental satisfaction, gives energy to every days work and also official work. If he or she suffers for mental agony or depression this extramarital affairs can rescue him from this mental fatigue.
    BUt have to remember that every action has same and equal reaction.

  • #35431
    There are several reasons for extra marital affiars. One of the important reason could be negligence and lack of love, compassion ,warmth and attention towards the other partner. Lack of appreciation and mockery and looking down upon the other partner could also be other reasons.

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