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Joint family system


Date: 19 Jun 2010   Posted By: pankajkumarbhowmik     Group: Family & Life    Category: Parenting   

Is joint family system better than nuclear family system for the nurturing of a child?
What are the merits and demerits of both?




Author: Sushila S Iyengar    19 Jun 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 10  (Rs 7)    Voting Score: 0

Nuclear family:(Father, mother and their children)
These days as both husband and wife goes to work, if they adopt a system of nuclear family, then they need to depend on domestic help or some baby sitters with whom, they have to leave their child.

The child will automatically pick up the habits of the care-taker and the surroundings. Slowly, a drift between the parents and a child will develop and gradually it may lead to a sort of feeling in the child, that she/he has been neglected by their parents.

While they grow up, however you compensate with gifts and try to meet their demands on emotional grounds, it will not help.

In the advantage side, the child will learn sharing with other children in the baby care, and get use to some tolerance level.
They will get to learn other languages, and start mingling with the group.

But when the child is left in the care of domestic help, in my opinion, the child's future will be totally spoiled. The child will grow as a adamant child, and also as ignorant as the maid.

Joint family is always better system as regards nurturing of a child.

Advantages in Joint family: Family members are more in a joint family, the children of our siblings grow together under the care of our own kith and kin. Particularly, it is a blessing for the children having their grand parents around.

Grand parents may pamper them a bit, but will see to it that the grand children are brought up in a nice way, inculcating our culture in them. All the grandchildren in the family will have a nice time and have a good company. Will understand the value of the blood relation. Will maintain the moral relation with other family members throughout their lives.

The question of disadvantage comes only when there is a conflict over financial contributions to the family, and one does not get along with other family members for reasons whatsoever.

Regards
Sushila




Author: Runa N Borah    21 Jun 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 10  (Rs 7)    Voting Score: 0

Joint family system is better in many aspects among which the aspect of nurturing a child is one of the importtant plus points . Due to lack of strict norms or sometimes excessive generalisation of rules made joint family system a failure in our society. People started to prefer nuclear set ups where individuality is respected more .

But in nuclear families children , often young ones have to bear the brunt .Here parents are often stressed out for their extra responsibities which comes along with the package of extra freedom .


1.If they both work children are left with domestic helps who are often inexperienced .

2. The parents have to juggle duty of work and everything which he could have share with other family memebrs .

3. Husband and wife are the best of friends , but at times their inexperience with child rearing and worldly problems take tolls on their mental health too .

4. There are no better person than granparents in case of child rearing . They love their grandchildren unconditionally , and can manage problems without getting hyper .

5. A child gets to understand the meaning of relations . Because everyone plays a role in bringing up a child in joint family. In nuclear family a child takes almost all others like uncle , aunts or grandparents etc as outsiders and sometimes refuses to abide by what they say .

Demerits of Joint family

Now we are accustomed to see nuclear families all over our socety . So we somehow look at the great Indian Joint family System with reverence .But things are not always rosy in big , joint families .

1. Joint family concept works well with affluent families . In those families where memebrs work hard to make ends meet , joint family set up can be a nightmare .Because what one earns is supposed to be meant for everyone .

2. If brothers in joint family earn different amount of money , and one of them really earns petty amount , he and his wife and child face humiliation .

3. Nothing remains personal in a joint family . Often one has take unanimous consent before planning something new, which can be tedious , and otherwise he would be criticised for nothing .









Author: surya prakash    22 Jun 2010      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4    Voting Score: 0

Merits:
1. The child will be able to grow under the care of many other than his parents which helps him to develop relationship with relatives well.
2. Whenever the parents are busy, others can manage the child.
3. The child can gain lot of knowledge about the epics and the world in the hands of grandparents.
4. Due to family planning followed by many parents, children feel lonely and isolated. In ajoint family this doesn't happen.

Demerits:
1. The child can have freedom.
2. There cant be anything personal.


Author: Miss Nisha Dilip Talreja    28 Jun 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 4  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 2

look pankaj, if all of your family members adjust with each other and do not create or misunderstandings then its an advantage of livng in a joint and happy family. but if your family members are creating problems and creating fights and misunderstandings, then its better to stay apart. i have been living in a joint family since birth. my grandparents and my aunty and uncle have been living together since then and all adjusted with each other and are still happy...
your child will learn good values from others and you will get support even if your child is left behind alone. but if you are seperate, then some one or the other has to sit at home and look after your child.


Author: Rohit Mian    06 Jul 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

Hello Friend,

Appropriateness of joint family system and nuclear family system varies from families to families. Mutual understanding, compromises, respect of elders etc. are some of the major factors which must exist in a joint family. Only then a joint family can be prosperous,otherwise, clashes often occur.

Nuclear family, though considered bad in saying, but is in fact better in order to keep the relations cordial. Distance always increases the love. When we are away we are ignored by small things which are often the causes of family clashes. Meeting once or twice in a month, keeps the relations sweet and fruitful.


Author: Karthik    06 Jul 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 5  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0


Hello,

As each coin has both heads and tails even Joint Families have both merits and demerits.

Merits of Join Family:

They are many merits in join families like there will be lot of understanding and love and affection will be there.

People share their resources and if child is grown in joint family he gets all the benefits from their uncles, aunts and other relatives too.

The child learns how to behave with other elder people in the childhood itself.

If the parents go out on some work they can leave their children in their house itself instead of some baby care centers as many people will be there to look after the child.

Demerit of Joint Families:

If there is some misunderstanding there might be breakups in families which results in disaster situation.

If the people are getting different ranges of salaries then this might rise to some conflictions in money matters.

Regards,
Karthik.


Author: shiv    07 Jul 2010      Member Level: Silver     Points : 8  (Rs 5)    Voting Score: 0

Hello,

Joint family and nuclear family both are good at their places and both have merits and demerits. When you are living in nuclear family then you fell joint family is better than us and vise a versa.

Actually, this all depends on the nature of person and the need.

Now a days we all are working and that to in IT where their is no time limit for the work. In that case for married who do not not have any issue (kids) can stay alone but once they have kids then it we realizes the importance o joint family.
Merits:
1. In Nuclear family, it becomes hard to manage job, office work and house work and then baby. It is really a challenging job for lady.
Looking at this situation, we feel that joint family is better so that grandfather, grandmother will take care of your baby.
2. The baby gets groom in very good climate and they teach the culture very well which baby won't get outside if you keep in day care.
3. Also in day care their is time limit where in you have to reach before the day care gets close so this is another tension.
4. If day care has holiday then you have to manage within yourselves to take care of your baby.
5. Your children would not have any complaint about your timings if you are staying in joint family. They won't say that you are not sharing your time with them.
6. If unfortunately, baby is not well then again do not go office and first takes the baby to doctor for the treatment.
7. In joint family, you can concentrate on your career.
8. If you are in business and staying in joint family then its beneficial in terms of contacts.
9. You come to know about your culture, importance of all festival and you really enjoy them in joint family.
10. You can change your priority in joint family at any time depending on the house members available.

Demerits:
1.if you are staying in nuclear family then for your baby one day it becomes your situation that either you can do service or else you can concentrate at your Childs career.
2. You stay away from the culture in nuclear family. You never know the importance of festival and how to celebrate them.
3. If any guests come to your place then you can not adjust them. They become tension. You just make your life hell because of this tension. You do not get balance in professional and personal life.
4. In nuclear family you have to stick to your priorities and those you can not change as their are no one on whom you will have the dependency.

Ultimately I will say, this all depends on individual. Some people like to be independent and they are ready to do everything of their own and some does not. Some people love peace and lonely life and some does not.
So i will suggest do what you feel is right and stay happy wither in Joint or Nuclear


Author: Vany    07 Jul 2010      Member Level: Silver     Points : 8  (Rs 4)    Voting Score: 0

Hi,

Joint families are those family where Grand parents,Parents and children live together. Some where siblings of parents also live in joint family. In Nuclear family system only Father, mother and their children live together.

Merits of Joint family :

1) A Child can get love of Grand Parents and Uncle-Aunty along with the love of parents.

2) Child get Special knowledge of our culture from their Grand Parents.

3) Child understand the value of the blood relations.

4) Child can have Good and Healthy resources of entertainment by playing with other family members , rather than always watching TV ,Playing Vedio game etc.

5) Grand Parents always give special Care to their Grand Children.They love them very much.

6) In Joint family a Child learn how to give respect to others and how to manage aur relations.

Demerits of Joint Family :

1) Privacy reduces.

2) Problem of Money may arise in case of middle class family due to large number of members in family.

3) It may increase Stress among the family members, due to misunderstanding between them.

Merits of Nuclear Family :

1) Child have complete freedom.

2) Parents can fully concentrare on their child.

Demerits of Nuclear Family :

1) Child may feel alone.

2) Parents get busy in their jobs, they do not give complete time to thier children.

3) Only father and mother envolve in nurturment of a child .

4) They do not give value to relations.

Regards,

vany


Author: eshant    07 Jul 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 6  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

Hi,

The betterment of future of a child depends upon the environment in which he/she grows along with. So the question of joint family and nuclear family comes into our mind obviously.

I would say it depends how do you want your child to be in the future. For example, if you put your child into boarding school, your child will become more independent and more confident.

If you want your child always with you and if you are staying in a joint family, then the results would be different:

-Your child will be emotionally attached to everyone.
-The consequences can be differ according to the negative or positive vibrations that are generated everday in the family. For example, in joint family lot of fights may happen only because of small reasons but on the other side the joint family could be very much loving and understanding. That all depends. And accordingly the effect would be seen on the child in the future.
-Some restrictions would always be there for a child.


Conclusion is nothing is wrong with nuclear families if they are giving sufficient time to their kids after work and on weekends and about joint families again it depends. But in my opinion if parents are giving attention to the kids nuclear families are good.

Thanks,
Eshant:)


Author: Radha Muralidhar    08 Jul 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 10  (Rs 5)    Voting Score: 0

Hi,

I fell both joint family and nuclear family is suitable for the citizens of India.

In olden days, the grand parents, uncles , aunts and their children used to live together and celebrate festivals and play together.Life used to be very cool and peaceful . Relatives used to visit each other from different places during vacations .

The older members used to render their valuable advise and there was little stress and panic among the family members. The visit to the hospitals used to be very negligible.

However,nowadays people relocate to cities due to better lifestyle and while doing so , it is quite obvious that they can't move out with the joint family. Therefore, they take only their spouses and their children.

The advantages of living in nuclear family is many folds. Firstly, you have privacy and can relax whenever you want. But, if you live in a joint family there won't be much privacy and you have to bear with the unwanted interference in your private matters by the other family members which may create misunderstanding.

Secondly, if there are senior citizens in the family, you can't go out on vacation, leaving them alone.Further, the financial burden will also increase if there are more members in the family.

The advantages of living in a joint family , I feel are more ,For example, nowadays when both the husband and wife are working, they leave their children as young as three months in a day care center..However, when the children have some small ailments like cold and cough , the baby care center won't take them. In such a situation, the working couple are at a loss. On the contrary, if they live in a joint family, the grandparents or their sister-in laws would be able to take care of the children and they don't have to worry about leaving their children with strangers.

Furthermore, the inexperience parents have to undergo lots of stress, when their children are down with some major illness. In such a situation, the elderly members of the family can take control of the situation and assist them to face the situation in a cool manner.

In the final analysis, I feel both joint family and nuclear family are equally good and one has to decide which one is good form him/her.


Author: Chirag Sachdeva    08 Jul 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 4  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

hello,

The joint family is better for the child as there are lot of people who will provide the guidance to the child regarding their future and motivate him to achieve more in life.

As the competition among the children living in the same house is also very high,as this will inherent them and boost them with the positive spirit of achieving more and want to take more than evertone and fibally better for their studies.

On the other hand on the nuclear family, no one specially there to see the performance of the child, as the both the parents are in job and it is difficult for them to share the time for the child ,this will affect the child as it will distracted towards the cinema and doesn't provide any sought of respects to their parents which they deserves and also made a big led down to its education also.

The child should be provided with the joint family environment as there provided with the love and devotion of the everyone and finally achieve his goal with the help of their love and support they have shown to the child.



Author: Arindam Hira    11 Jul 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 4  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

Social Merits of Joint Family system:
1. Sense of equality grows in a child.
2. You never feel left alone to solve a problem.
3. Share happiness & sorrow of one together.
4. Children learn etiquette and feel for each of the members.

Social Demerits of nuclear family:

1. Children do not get warmth of elders other than parents.
2. Do not learn to share.
3. Hesitate to be easy with the relatives.
4. Members have to shoulder everything on their own.
5. Feeling of being alone may invite complexity in life.





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