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How to convince parents for inter caste marriage?


Date: 06 Dec 2010   Posted By: william     Group: Family & Life    Category: Marriage   

i am 25 yrs old roman catholic frm mumbai and my girl is 23 yrs old hindu kulshrestha caste from uttar pradesh. we both love each other but her parents wont except me as in not frm kulshrestha caste despite of me telling them i can get converted if religion is a social barrier il over come it to get her but still they wont agree the disagreement was jus frm her moms side as her father is a civil engg and is most of times out of house hence thers no comment frm him yet til now. she loves me but she is scared of even geting register marriage done. i tol her register marriage is jus to make our bond secured so tht no legal action can be taken from her parents side n they cant separate us. but she is kinda scared how do i convince her and her parents tht il keep her happy. i did assure her tht after reg marriage they HAVE to accept us but she is afraid how to convince her. i did ask her mom over call to meet me once and then take a decision but she denied it however the girl did say tht whn her father comes she will talk to him however i need to know what if he doesn agree i shud have a secondary plan to execute how do i convince her for register marriage. here my folks r ready but issue is only with her parents thoughts like society and me not being from her caste.

wud ther be a solution for this issue? how do i convince her for register marriage.




Author: Adarsh    07 Dec 2010      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 2

This is a serious matter my dear friend.Most people who fall in love faces the problem of convincing parents.As for your case its an intercaste.Well you thought of registering as the only way if her parents don't agree.Thats fine but think of it this way;Registering first and then trying to convince her parents.If you are very desperate for their blessings then prove to them that you are the best son-in-law for them.To do this you need a good job then show them how much you love their daughter.Don't forget that you can lead a happy life if and only if your parent's blessings are with you.All the best.

Author: Sree    07 Dec 2010      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

Hi,

Marriage is a lifelong relation where both the parents has to be convinced.
1. Firstly you both should be strong enough in your relation , so that no one will trouble you because you both are majors.
2. Secondly girls are very attached and sensitive towards their family . If you both get register marriage may be they won't accept both of you and their will be a spot in your life.
3. Wait for sometime , so that the girl will talk to her father and try to convince him . These kind of things require lot of time . Be patience.
4. Don't try to drag the same issue between yourself (register marriage) it may create problem in both of you.
5. Convince her to allow you to talk with her parents . Explain them how much you love each other.
6. When she is scared give her sometime to think about your marriage and how to convince her parents don't be hurry.
7. Caste is not the only important thing to get marry . To be happy and together many important things are their in life .

Regards,

Sree.



Author: Dinesh Pradeep T    08 Dec 2010      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4  (Rs 4)    Voting Score: 0

Hi William,

This is a testing period for you and your girl definitely. Its just a matter of persistence and true love which will take you through the problems.

See, I know about this situation and I have faced all these caste issues. Ofcourse, one thing is mine is not related to Inter-Religion, but just the Caste. I personally feel, both are the same, one way or the other.

You have mentioned that you are ready to convert. But didnt say anything about your family members. Are they ok with your decision? What are their position in your love and your girl? Thats the most important and key part.

Many people think that the problem will be always in the GIRLS side, but actually its the reverse most of the time. It will be problem in the BOYS side (if there is a family).

See, nobody can do anything legally or illegally to your girl and to you. She cannot be married to a different person, and most parents wont keep the girl un-married. So, your worry about making the girl to be done by something is not required.

But yes, there will be EMOTIONAL Black-mails from the parents side. Its all in your girl's hand initially and how she tackles the black-mails. She has to be persistent to the core/extreme initially and through-out the matter.

She is the one who has to talk with her parents to at least have a talk with you. Once that meeting is arranged, then its completely in your hands. BE PREPARED.

You can keep the REGISTER MARRIAGE as the last and final option, if there is anything serious is going to happen, which cannot be reversed.

You both be strong in your words and your love. Explain it to your respective parents. You try to talk with your girl's parents and let your girl try to talk with your parents.

Things will automatically change. Its just the TIME that matters. The amount of TIME required and amount of PERSISTENCE (during that TIME) from you both will solve everything.

Nothing comes to an END until GOOD THINGS happen. ALL WELLS.

Stay positive and smart enough. If your's and your girl's love is strong and TRUE, and TIME permits, then you SHOULD BE eligible to live as COUPLES.

All the best!!!

Regards,
Dinesh


Author: Sudhir    08 Dec 2010      Member Level: Silver     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

Hai,
I myself have already faced the same problem. Be positive and stick to your genuine and true love. Marriage is a life long relationship based on the mutual understanding.

If your partner is ready, what is your fear. Marriage is not for her parents but for her only. Moreover you are being supported by your parents.

First, you change your technique to convince your GF. As her decision will be final in this matter and no role for her parents in strict sense, if her age is above 18 years.

Second option is that you send your parents to her home and beg for their daughter honestly.

Thirdly, you register your marriage and go for court marriage which is a legal procedure.

If she really loves you, she will know your problem. Your try to solve mutually.

In my case we did our marriage but parents-in-law were not in good term with me because they did not know me well. But my GF (now my wife) have been knowing since our school days. Like ours she should convince her parents. Now, they love and treat me lovingly than her own daughter and other son-in-laws.

May God bless both of you and have a blessed married life.


Author: Jayanta Datta Choudhury    09 Dec 2010      Member Level: Gold     Points : 2  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

First of all we should know that different Indian societies are still divided on the basis of caste and religion discrimination hampering up-lift of societies and overall progress of India. In earlier days people with orthodox mindset in Indian Hindu society could not accept the inter-cast. Many social reformers campaigned against the cast discrimination to build up our nation free from such old conception. .
However, in present days such situations are being reformed with the continuous supports from Government and many social reformers. Now a days inter-cast marriages have become normal without any social criticisms removing the caste barrier in orthodox Hindu society.
Young generations in India are ambitious to enhance their education, culture and life style. They are getting opportunities to mix up with different cultures in our societies where there is no barrier of caste and religion. The culture, education and quality of a person is more important than his/her cast or religion. On this concept in my view inter-caste marriage can be justified to convince orthodox parents with old mindset.






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