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How to convince parents for intercaste marriages?


Date: 30 Jul 2012    Group: Family & Life    Category: Marriage   

I loved one boy, we both are working, we both are from different communities, I am from rich family and he is from poor family,we both never thinking about money, their parents are agreed to our marriage they don't have any issues, but my parents are not interested in inter caste marriage, I am trying to convincing them for my marriage from nine months but still they are not convinced, we both are waiting for my parents acceptance, still my parents are telling we are not interested and we will not accept your marriage and they dont have money, my parents are telling if you marry him dont come to our home, I cant live without him and I cant live without my parents, I want both of them and both should be happy. I want happy ending.

Having problems with convincing parents for intercaste marriages? In India, intercaste marriages between different financial strata still create problems. Learn how to handle your conservative parents opposing intercaste marriages in India.


Author: Farid Akhtar    30 Jul 2012      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 2  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

This is not a movie, this is life and you need to understand that. Your parents are saying what 99.5% parents would have said in this situation. You are marrying or want to marry a boy who is from lower caste and poor family, whose parents will agree? I am sure even that 0.05% figure looks too large here. I will advise you that love stories generally don't work as per my experience specially with different class and caste. Its just too complicated to survive but if you still persistent then ask your parents that you need that guy for which better reasons. If your logic will be true, I am sure as a parent they might be able to connect with the guy. Just don't think of marriage now but continue this relation for 2-3 years more. Whoever will be stronger will triumph in this battle of love and relation.

Author: Siddharth Sharma    30 Jul 2012      Member Level: Silver     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

Believe in god & put in your best efforts.
There may be danger in him thats why god might be avoiding him.


Author: Ajay Prince    30 Jul 2012      Member Level: Silver     Points : 3    Voting Score: 0

Your story is just like a bollywood movie and hope the ending also will be the same,i.e.,the happy ending.But life is much more twisted authentically as compared to movies.
In your case,I am assured that triumph will be your as you told that your parents know your relation with your lover and still no more objection is created by them.
Generally,in this situation,parents impose a number of restrictions on the girl but you did not mention any such. Now you need to make some more efforts and try to represent you and your lover in better way.
All the best


Author: Madhusudan.G.S    30 Jul 2012      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

This Site is majorly focused about Education as I understand. Considering that providing guidance even at personal life level if required is the responsibility of a guru, I am suggesting as follows.

Getting Married against Parent's wish is something we shall avoid. First with a clear and unbiased mind, stand out of your love circle and just think who is more important in long run of life for you. Think from brain and then and only then act from Heart.

Regrading, Inter-caste Marriage, if the Cast difference is huge (as in between Hindu, Muslim, Christian, etc.,), think twice before you act from every angle practically because since you are a girl as i deduct, you will be entering an unknown family after Marriage. It will be a real hard on your parents if something is found wrong after your Marriage.

In summary, assess the options very practically and if required take help of your well wishing Friend before making final decision. Also, once decided do not step back.

All the Best.


Author: Kalyani    31 Jul 2012      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 4  (Rs 4)    Voting Score: 0

In my opinion for a really understanding soul, caste is not a barrier. First of all try to understand your friend well, is he really a gentleman type or is he just approaching you for the sake of having a love life. Whenever you happen to meet your friend, keep conversing with him about various realities of life and try to understand his feelings and observe the way he looks at things / life. After observing him for over a period, if you still feel that he is the right match for you and you can lead a happy married life with him, then you can convince your parents by proving that your friend is a gentleman type and he really loves you and that he is ready to support you in all walks of life. You should be sensible in this regard and observe him keenly and if you come to a conclusion that he is not really in love with you but he is having ill-intentions on your richness, then slowly you can end-up with your friendship and say good-bye to him. And it is always better / advisable to marry the person whom our parents select as our parents always are our well-wishers and they always try to keep us happy. Parents choice should be given high importance than selecting our own as this is something related to life and not purchasing a material item


Author: willson tarzen    31 Jul 2012      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

Just tell them that how much you love that boy and try to give some positive things about him and his family and your future life.

Author: banu    31 Jul 2012      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

for making success your love and making a way for the marriage needs lots of patience.this is the 1st thing you both need. because life is not a movie of making happy ending within 3 hours.

parents are always think like parents you both have to prove that you can live happily forever.

here money is making issue to both of you if your guy has financial stability or a govt job your parents will accept for sure.

try from that way also you will surely succedd

all the best



Author: boni jyothsna    31 Jul 2012      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

explain them the love you are having towards him and the importance you give to him. ask your parents to interact with your boy friend just as a human and not keeping his caste in mind. if your parents like his behavior and if they are broad minded , they will surely agree. if after pleading and truing to convince them, if hey don,t change, then it is left to you to take your own decision.

Author: misthi    01 Aug 2012      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Dear ,

My humble advise is that you are not married against your Parent's because after marriage so many times you need your parents . Think from brain and Heart too .But you will try to convene your parents.Because parent is your present and your boyfriend and marriage are future.At that time you think only about marriage, not about financial status but in future money play a big role. You can sacrifice all need and so on . after marriage In case your family grows you want to send your kids in big school,join activities and so on you cant able .Firstly try to establish financially then marry with your boyfriend .Caste no bar.


Author: Bhakti Savla    01 Aug 2012      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 6  (Rs 5)    Voting Score: 0

It is good to know that you want to convince your parents to allow you to marry the boy of your choice. It shows that you respect your parents (and wouldn't want to go against their decision) and also that you stand by the man whom you love. Your parents would be convinced if they can see the boy is good natured, caring and earning well so that he can keep you happy after marriage.

I would advise the following tips to convince parents for intercaste marriage:
-Have a talk with the boy you love and ask him to meet your parents and impress them. He should be able to convince them that he will achieve some financial success in 1 year or so. The important thing is that if he starts earning good secured income, it will make your parents believe that he can take care of your needs. For all other matters like respect for elders,loving and caring nature, etc., the boy should meet your parents often and show his inner side. If he truly loves you, he will do anything to impress your parents and gain their trust. He may face rejection from your parents many times, but, if he keeps trying (with your strong support), he will ultimately succeed.

-Talk with the boy's parents and ask them to commit in front of your parents that you wouldn't face any problem at their house due to religious things. You should have a freedom to practise your religion and they can practise theirs.

-Make sure your lover and his parents also commit that they are not interested in any monetary help from you (or your family members) during the marriage or after it.

-Borrow some time (6 months or 1 year) from your parents and ask them to give your relationship a chance. Once you get it, make sure you try every possible effort to bring the two families together by getting together at each other's place more often. This way you would create a strong base for future harmony between the two families.


Author: Diya Gupta    01 Aug 2012      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

You said you want happy ending but according to me if they agree with you it is just a starting .Now lets come to point how to convince your parents look they know what you deserve and what is that guy? They know you better then you.First of all arrange a meeting of your boy friend with or parents.Then its up to him how he manage to deal with them? True love make its own path like water.

Author: Manoj Gathe -> MPG    02 Aug 2012      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

Dear Friend,
I think this is the most common problem with inter-caste love and then to go for arranged marriage program.
I will suggest some things as under for better routing of these things.
1. Why can't you opt for court marriage. Anyway you both have to live together, your parents and his parents may or may not accept arranged marriage, but for love you can try court marriage option better than arranged marriage. Once you will get married, situation may turn on happy ending side. Ultimately, very practically, no ending is happy.
2. Secondly you will arrange the face to face meeting of your parents and his parents for better understanding. I suspect, the cause is of different in the power of money with him and not the community problem. If it is so, please follow the option 2 and let's see what can be opted through the meeting.
If still your parents are against this marriage, do not waste much time to convince anybody, first think for future of your's and your partner's.
All the Best


Author: Jyoti Malhotra    02 Aug 2012      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

I can understand your situation as you love both, your friend as well as your parents. In order to convince your parents you need to make them know and understand that I cannot live without either of them. You need both of them to make your life happy and worth living. Parents will understand easily as they are mature enough and love you too.

Inter caste matters can be sorted out easily once both the ends agree to co-operate and give respect to each other in every way. This way parents of both the ends can agree with ease.

You will be able to win the hearts of all if you will try to maintain a good and intelligent balance between the views of your parents and your would be in-laws.

This is a must so as to have a happy ending.

All the best!!!!!


Author: Himangshu    03 Aug 2012      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: -1

Please, at least don't take any stupid decision at this moment. It will take some time to turn your parents mind. First of all, I believe that you are very much confident about your boy friends true love only and only for you and nothing else (please don't mind, hope u understand what I am going to say). If still you have a little doubt then just (try to) say him that you are ready to elope leaving your home for ever; just note his opinions. If you are still confident that he will take care and love u as you deserve from him then just elope. But must remember to inform your parents at the time when they will become grandparent. After that definitely you will be rescued because of your baby. That's one option.

Next option, hope your boy friend has that much courage to face your parent asking/begging for his love and to fulfill your parents terms and conditions if arise. (show them/hope) your boy friend will do that much of thing/work to earn much more money (in good way) to make your life wealthy and happy. Money is the thing which can minimize any type of barrier that arise between your love. Also let him ask if he has to follow some conditions to get you.

Last option, Sacrifice your love, because you are here in this beautiful world only and only because of your mom and dad. Whatever decision our parents take is because they care for us for our better future. So, you should not hurt their feelings.

Always remember, marriage is not the ultimate goal of love.


Author: Poonia Boy    04 Aug 2012      Member Level: Gold     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Hello Friend,
As other said your problem is very common problem. In India it is yet to be accepted. Sometime money is not the issue for parents but your future too is a point to be considered. Yhey maynot be comfortable with your devision.
There are many other thing. For detailed opinion you mar refer the link provided.


Reference: http://articals.sunilsaharan.in/2009/12/want-to-merry-girl-of-other-religion.html




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