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How to handle adamant behaviour of son?


Date: 17 Dec 2015    Group: Family & Life    Category: Parenting   

I have a 3 and half year old son. The problem is my son does not share any things with others but he will ask all the things from others. He will feel disappointed and will start crying. Secondly he will beat everyone and throw things on others. I don't know how to handle these kinds of situations. I often I lose my temper. what should I do?Experts: please advice.

Wondering how to handle adamant behaviour of a 3 year old? check out advice from experts on this page.


Author: Venkiteswaran.    19 Dec 2015      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 7  (Rs 7)    Voting Score: 0

There can be some reasons for your little son's behaviour.
1. The child would have been pampered and got attention from all till now, and it is not getting that much attention nowadays. So it is expressing its dissatisfaction and seeks attention and pampering.

2. It is not allowed or not having chance to mix with similar age children.

3. He feels bored with the same routine he has, hence he shows the frustration this way.

So the best way now is to slowly expose the child to other well behaved children. First let it observe how other children behave normally. Then make it clearly understand, in firm but cool and poise that its tantrums will not work, but it will be rewarded for normal behaviour. Make him understand that he will not get any more toys or dress if he throws them and spoil or break them. Never allow him to hurt others. Give him similar hurt in a very diluted degree to make him understand that it causes pain to others and he should desist from that.

At the same time allow him his normal freedom as a growing child. Do not treat him as a caged bird. Take him with you outside so that he sees what the outside world is.
Take him to parks and other places where children play, and allow him also play with them, use the see-saw, swig, merry-go-round etc. At home involve him in small household chore like ask him to give the vegetables so that you clean them, let him give you the clothes to put on hanger etc. Ask him to pick and give the paper shreds etc when you clean the floor. Slowly he will become normal.


Author: Kailash Kumar    19 Dec 2015      Member Level: Platinum     Points : 1  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

The author has not mentioned if the child is already admitted in some play group /nursery school or not. Spending time in company of other children is likely to inculcate social skills in the child. Also trained and experienced teachers in reputed schools will handle the situation with ease and let the child grow and develop proper traits. The child has to spend time out side the pampered environment of home to mend his behaviour.

Author: T.Krishnamoorthy    19 Dec 2015      Member Level: Gold     Points : 7  (Rs 7)    Voting Score: 0

Actually it is the mistake of parents and family members. When he was 1 yr old we allow him to do all activities as he wants. At the later stage, these activities will become his character. Now also he is only 3 year old. So, no tension everything can be bring to normal. Now onward, you are not only parent but also a counselor.
1. Keenly watch the activities of your child and identify the good one.
2. Encourage the good qualities and discourage the bad one.
3. His energy should be diverted in right direction.
4. Avoid showing violent cartoon shows or WWF etc.
5. Whenever one parent (mother or father) strict him, the other one should not support him at the moment.
6. He is now ready to be admitted in any play way school or creche.
7. Sharing habbit to be inculcated in him by asking to distribute things among the family members or you may take him to religious places like temple and ask him to distribute prasad to people with your help. These type of activities surely help in developing sharing habbit.
8. Carry out outing programme on weekend to beach, park etc this will help him to understand the natural phenomena by watching birds, animals in group, sea breeze, sandy beach etc. So, try it.



It is often noticed that grand parents show lot of love and affection towards their grandson or grand daughter.


Author: Mahesh    20 Dec 2015      Member Level: Gold     Points : 2  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

In case of such behavior, you have to set some restrictions and guidelines. For example, he doesn't eat when you ask him to then you have to find things he like and restrict him. This way he can understand in order to enjoy what he likes, he needs to follow you. And that way you can keep on adding things. This is what most of the people are doing and making their kids follow them. That being said, there are some of the times it would take him other social contacts to tell him something.

Author: jenny    23 Dec 2015      Member Level: Gold     Points : 8  (Rs 8)    Voting Score: 0

Allow the child to mix with other children, but see that you watch the movements of your child so that he may not hurt others. Make him understand the importance of body parts, what happens when he throws things at others.

Be firm in your commands but be polite, do not be very harsh and beat the child. Make him understand the difference between good behaviour and bad behaviour.

Tell the child that if he behaves well you would tell a story, stories interests children. Show pictures of sharing things and helping one other.

Do not pamper the child too much, later he may expect the same from you. Allow the child to play with others. When the child plays with others, make him understand the importance of fairness in game.

Encourage him with words of good/appreciation as rewards. Let the encouragement be in the form of positiveness. It may take some time for the child to reform, but you need to have patience and constantly be advising him of good behaviour.

Make him understand that when he throws things they get damaged and that they cannot be replaced and he may not get a new set.

Give him small tasks at home, clearing the floor of toys that he has spread around , arranging his clothes in the cupboard, watering small pots, fold his clothes, arrange his set of books etc.

Know his interests, tell him that he would not be allowed to play/use those particular toys which he likes if he behaves badly. Allow him to watch shows of sharing and caring and let him learn it. Make him watch group of children playing in the ground and make him understand how they are playing. Make him understand that children would not make friends with him if he shows bad behaviour.





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