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Parents against my love marriage

Date: 17 Jan 2016    Group: Family & Life    Category: Marriage   

I am in a relationship with a guy for the past 6 years. We are of same age and we have studied in the same school. It is a long distance relationship, with occasional meetings once or twice in 6 months. I had told my parents when it became serious but they were against the love marriage because we are of same age and being from the same place. They were just worried about what people will think of us. I love my parents and at the same time I need him.
After graduation, I discussed the subject again and my parents were shattered and stopped talking to me. I am placed in a company and can join right after my post graduation. My parents have told that they will leave me but they wont allow this alliance. But I need everyone. What is the best way to convince my parents?
Awaiting advice from experts.

Wondering what to do if parents are are against love marriage? Check out responses from experts on this page.

Author: Venkiteswaran.    18 Jan 2016      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 8  (Rs 8)    Voting Score: 0

Please evaluate your relationship. If he is also equally serious and sincere in this relationship like you, then a good part is over. Let that not be based on irrational and fascinating imaginations, but based on actual evaluation of all real pros and cons of past, present and future companionship and living.
I suggest that as far as possible use your firm, polite, affectionate convincing powers, reason and logic to convince your parents that you both will be happy together and want their approval and blessings for getting married, either under their lead or at least helping indirectly and not opposing adamantly.

If his parents are approving your relationship, then go ahead taking their help and get married.

If both side parents are against, and will not budge whatever may be, then you may have to look your alternatives going for a civil marriage. But then, there will be hard facts to stare at. So first you need a job and earning. That is the priority.

Parents are like wax. They melt by the warmth of love and affection to their children. So continue to plead and convince them that you love them,need them, and you are confident that after marriage you will be happy .

Try to understand the fears and inhibitions of your parents too. You may also try to arrange their stay with you in the place of your job , away from the native village or town. A bit of anonymity may give them some courage to side with you also.
As far as possible avoid precipitating matters. Continuous perseverance may yield positive results.
Best Wishes.

Author: Sheo Shankar Jha    18 Jan 2016      Member Level: Gold     Points : 5  (Rs 5)    Voting Score: 0

Marriage is a permanent relationship and so entering into contract of the same, you need to consider numerous points such as his behaviour pattern, reliability and trust and consistency of his behaviour. Of all, you have to ensure the financial stability by way of marriage.
I think you did not have the chance of regular companionship with your the fiancé. Under that circumstances, you would fail to know the many facets of his life. Hence I would suggest you not to be impulsive at this moment and consider all the viable options in order to enjoy a healthy relationship.
Our parents are our well wishers and they would not like to see you sufferer after your marriage and they do have certain parameters in their mind which would ensure peace and stability in your married- life. However, it would be your role to convince them that you would enjoy excellent relationship with your marriage. Maintain the communication- level and inform them the plus point of your partner by highlighting his job - status and his concern of well being of your parents. A Continious interaction would pave the way for the normalisation of the strained relationship which you have at this moment.
You may approach a marriage consultant in this regard to sort out the issue. Be practical and take the confidence of both your parents and in laws. In the mean while, you may look for a job so that you may secure the financial - stability even after your marriage.

Author: Vin    19 Jan 2016      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4  (Rs 4)    Voting Score: 0

Parents are the persons just under God. With out blessings from them no one can live happily. They care us for a long time. We can't give any money or anything to them for their help. All these things you know. But its your life you have the responsibility to take the decisions. There are lot of advantages as well as disadvantages. If parents are not agree for this relationship, under some situations you completely will become alone. Now a days we are reading so many problems regarding this love relationship. At the time of marriage every man show their real face, sometimes they cheat you, sometimes they accept the girl.

In my opinion you just complete your studies and join for the job. First of all you must settled with your job and if he has job make him focus on job if both you are completely ready with your job take the decision. At that time if both your parents allow this alliance they proceed. I his parents agree this relation you can go with him but he and his parents must be with always. If both parents disagree with this also you can go with him but both you are able to handle all the problems in your life. Main thing is the job that you have. Best of luck. Take the decision that never make you down. God bless you.

Author: T.Krishnamoorthy    30 Jan 2016      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

I am of the opinion that it is you who better knows the whole situation. You are a post graduate. So you have enough knowledge and ideas to cope up with the situation. What is I suggest you that first you must evaluate endurance of your relationship. If it is OK, then you can further move on. You can very clearly explain the whole circumstances to your parents with confident that I can live only with him. In addition to this, you must show some remarkable instance to your parents by which they can be able to assess the credibility of the boy. I hope they will understand and may node further proceedings. On the other hand, if the credibility of the boy is not up to the mark then your life will be at risk and you must held responsible for on the wrong track. So first evaluate the love you have first if you are confident then go ahead otherwise held back.

Author: Pappu Das    30 Jan 2016      Member Level: Silver     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

I think the reasons are different which they are hiding. If your parents are educated, possible reasons for their rejection are:

(i) Planned for an arrange marriage after a particular stage of your education with a groom of their choice.

(ii) Difference of religion, social and economic aspects with your lover.

(iii) Your boyfriend is not liked or worthy to them.

(iv) They know some negative facts about your boyfriend.

(v) Not ready for your marriage yet.

Note: Parents knows the best and we must follow them.

Author: Jagdish Patro    03 Feb 2016      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

You have not clearly mentioned about the feelings of your counterpart in this episode. You were just saying that both of you know each other for the last six years and meeting occasionally. Yet there is a subtle difference in the approach of projecting your view to your parents with seriousness. Having smelt a rat, it is quite common that any parent would try to take a preventive action and same is the case with your parents. Both of you could have built a confidence level in them that the pair would work well if they are tied together, but in your case such effort seemed to have not occurred from the boy side. Just discuss with him, open up your thoughts, if you are very serious about your love and both of you approach the parents of the both sides about the proposal. This would give a clear picture. Check with the boy and read his mind first and ensure how far he can withstand to the true test of love!

Author: Pappu Das    09 Mar 2016      Member Level: Silver     Points : 1  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

Yes, rightly quoted by Jagdish. The boy's mindset is important to understand.
Parents always prefer good for their children.

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