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Girl's parents and relatives are forcing me to marry


Date: 15 Feb 2016    Group: Family & Life    Category: Marriage   

Since we initially agreed for the marriage, my engagement took place in the presence of my parents and in the absence of me as girl's parents and relatives forced for it. We did not know that the girl's parents background is not good (have bad relationship) and now they also seem to be rude. As of now we did not agree for the marriage in writing but just verbal decision is made in front of few people at girl's home and they might have some photos of it. Initially they said that they will take me and force me to marry the girl if we do not accept. Hence we agreed for the engagement.
I am from AP and working at central govt. company at Chennai with high paid salary. My questions are as follows:
(1) How can I proceed to cancel this engagement?
(2) Can I marry other girl without letting them know?
(3) Do they can complain against me legally if yes, does that affect my job?
(4) Is it okay to complain against the girl's parents? if yes, where I have to complain?
(5) Can I proceed with marrying another girl by informing her and her parents whatever happened till now without letting the first girl side know about the marriage? if yes, is it good to marry at Chennai with registered marriage?
Awaiting advice from experts.


Are you in a dilemma about forced marriage? On this page you can read advice from experts.


Author: Kailash Kumar    15 Feb 2016      Member Level: Platinum     Points : 2  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

The most important aspect of the issue is perhaps to ensure that your job is not affected as you are working in a Central Government company. Generally in Central Government systems, there is zero tolerance for anything related to such matters. In case any complaint is filed by the girl's parent to your organization, at least an inquiry is likely to be set up in case, prima facie, any substance is noticed by the concerned authorities. In my opinion, the author should consult a legal professional for further advice and take preemptive action to ensure that no complication arises in future.

Author: [Anonymous]    16 Feb 2016      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

I have seen many break ups even after engagement. I do not think that it requires some legal procedure or so.

If you have registered your engagement to any authority like municipal office or similar office of your locality, you just need to submit a letter for break up with that relation ship.
Divorce involves some lengthy procedures but that is not applicable in case of engagement and anyways, you have mentioned that you were not present in the engagement so you can count that point.

Being in a government job, you can also submit a letter in your office about this break up before the girl's family do the same. By this, you will at safer side.
You can also consult an advocate for the same.


Author: Imran Soudagar    17 Feb 2016      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

The first thing that you need to do is contact a good lawyer and get legal opinion.

Since you work for the Central Government, you can ask for opinion form your Union leader or legal department.

I advise you to get the matter solved before you decide to marry another girl. The best way to get this solved is by asking your community leaders to solve it. As community leaders/ religious leaders have more influence in such matters.

If the community leaders fail to solve the matter, you can ask for legal help. Since it was just a verbal agreement to marry it doesn't hold any weight in the court of law.

But before you take any step I suggest you to first talk to your Union leader and or legal department in your office as you do not want to break any law that will endanger your employment.

Hope your problem will get solved without any problem.

Best wishes.


Author: Sheo Shankar Jha    17 Feb 2016      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

Since there was no written consent from your side and as such, there is no point that you would be entrapped legally. In our country, such incidences are not unusual when a young man having their decent earnings are lured by the parents of girls for the permanent contract of marriage.
Certainly, you have to proceed with a cool heart at this moment and it would be best for you to have a consultation of a prominent lawyer to sort out the case in your favour. Even, you can approach your personnel department intimating the entire affair in writing so that the management may not charge you that there was concealment of some important fact.
I think you would get invaluable suggestion from your lawyer regarding all the queries which is haunting your mind at this moment.


Author: Mahesh    17 Feb 2016      Member Level: Gold     Points : 2  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

Whatever you do, make sure that you don't marry on the basis of some social pressure. I suggest you to take legal route if the pressure is turning into threats. Also make sure that whatever decision you take you don't take it in some sort of stress. That would surely make things a bit clouded in general. I also think you should focus on future events instead of regurgitating past. Take one decision at a time. Consult with some legal people and also some senior people into this matter.

Author: Manoj Kumar Lamba    17 Feb 2016      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

Its better to break those relations which are imposed on you forcefully. If you and your parents are not happy with this relation, you can break up the relation by telling the girl's parent that you are not happy with this relation. You have not married that girl, only engagement has done. You with your parents and relatives can go to girl's parent and break this relation. You can also take advise from a good lawyer or a person who is having knowledge of dealing such cases.




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