|Author: sathish chandrasekaran 07 Apr 2016 Member Level: Gold Points : 2 (Rs 2) Voting Score: 0|
Dear Srimathi, I am pained to see your situation. Was there any particular reason given by your husband for not wanting to share his life with you? You really love him and is he being sensitive to your love? You need to deal with lot of patience. You tell him that let us meet in person and discuss. Tell him that long distance relationship are hard and we will have to be more patient in dealing. Let us not break our hearts over the troubled minds. We can decide in person and see each other. Meet him in person. Can you fly to dubai and spend time with him for couple of weeks? It will be really good if you go there and discuss in person. If he comes to India, your mother in law might influence him and deflect him away. I hope you act really smart. But at the same time, if he is inconsiderate and does not have a mind of his own and a mama boy then it is better to leave such immature person. You know your husband, so better think with clear head and do what your heart says.
|Author: Kailash Kumar 08 Apr 2016 Member Level: Platinum Points : 2 (Rs 2) Voting Score: 0|
Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 deals with divorce. Broadly speaking a marriage can be dissolved by obtaining a decree of divorce on the following grounds -
3. Mental disorder/Unsound Mind
5. Venereal disease
6. Renounced the World
7. Not heard alive for seven years
8. Judicial Separation
9. No Resumption of Co-habitation
The author is advised to approach the family court of her area for further legal advice regarding the subject matter. However, it is recommended that the efforts should be made to continue and maintain the status of marriage through mutual discussions, understanding and consent until and unless, it reaches the stage of no return.
|Author: Sheo Shankar Jha 08 Apr 2016 Member Level: Gold Points : 2 (Rs 2) Voting Score: 0|
I am really disturbed to see you in such a painful situation. What is required at this moment is a thorough analysis of your companionship with your present husband. First of all, he should be sensitive enough to understand your emotion. If he is lacking cordiality and trustworthiness, it would be better to seek another alliance. Financial - stability, too, is an important parameter for the discharge of family - responsibilities. With the progress of time, you would be blessed with children and these children would require your mental and financial support to make them sensible education. Therse days, expenses on the education and medical expenses have multiplied enormously. So a due care on these parameters is required to be taken.
You need to have a full deliberation with your husband indicating all the relevant points required to have a lasting marriage. In case of non compliance of these points, you may take the extreme step - the divorce. Under such condition take the help of an experienced lawyer to sort out the case.
|Author: Timmappa Kamat 08 Apr 2016 Member Level: Gold Points : 3 (Rs 3) Voting Score: 0|
The reasons for which a divorce can be granted has been enlisted in one of the above responses. It would be advisable to meet an able lawyer specialised in such cases. He will be in a better position to guide you properly in this connection.
However, since you have stated that you love your husband and want to live with him, it would be more apt to have a one to one meeting with him. Having a close conversation may help you much in getting the differences solved. Make it a point to let him know how much you care for him. Hopefully he will understand your feelings for him and decide against the divorce plan.
And a word of caution - if you really want to live with him and avoid divorce, never ever bring up the issue of his low salary in your discussion. Finding an amicable solution without the need for any middlemen or lawyer would be the best option as far as my views go.
|Author: Adarsh kumar 08 Apr 2016 Member Level: Silver Points : 3 (Rs 3) Voting Score: -1|
I can see how much you still love your husband even after a barrier of 8 months. As per my logic your husband should not be thinking of divorce because if he had that intension then he could have done that at starting itself when anger was at its peak. Maybe you both have the same feelings inside you both. Who knows that your husband there would be thinking that you are planning for a divorce and he does not want that to be done.
At the same time blaming your mother in law is also not correct as your husband should be matured enough to take his own decisions.
A husband's duty is to always support his wife in all stages of life. If you think that your relationship is not going to work then it is better to get a divorce rather than spending your life in brooding about him.
The first step you have to take is to talk to him directly. Ask him not to tell his mother about your meeting. When you meet him frankly sort out your differences and arrive at a mutual understanding. If you are not confident about your relationship after this then you can think about divorce.
Hope you can come up with the best solution of your life and for your life.
|Author: Archana Kapoor 10 Apr 2016 Member Level: Gold Points : 2 (Rs 2) Voting Score: 0|
If you had been living separately for at least 2 years than anyone of you can file a petition for divorce and there are chances to get divorce easily. But he cannot marry another girl without divorcing you according to hindu marriage law and you can persuade him to live with you peacefully again so there are wide chances that you both can patch up again and live a happy life. So try to convince your partner and try to have some work if you can to maintain financial stability.
|Author: gsadhiks 15 Apr 2016 Member Level: Silver Points : 2 (Rs 2) Voting Score: 0|
I Hope that my small suggestion will help you. If you really like your husband and no very well that he is against you because of his mother, then please don't give divorce. Suppose if your in laws are able to stay alone then you please try to stay away from them with your husband. If your husband is the only son then try to convince him and try to stay with him and make him understand what is going around him, because husband - wife relation is like rubber band any body will try to pull it but its in our hand to find out the density of the rubber band and hold it. So find out whether he is also having the same feelings about you that what your having about him, then surely you don't go for divorce. In case if he is not having any feelings towards you then you give a second thought. But ever don't put an end to your relationship because of your mother - in - law. I no its not so easy as I say but its not so impossible also, because later on you should not think that you should have given a second thought for your relation. So please think twice and then go ahead. ALL THE BEST..
|Author: Saji Ganesh 20 Apr 2016 Member Level: Diamond Points : 6 (Rs 6) Voting Score: 0|
Srimathi, while registering my sympathy for you in this situation, I have a few doubts which need clarification-
Firstly, your mentioning about the low salary drawn by your husband does point a finger of doubt to whether you have inadvertently become a party to the present situation. Why was this point of 'low' salary brought out prominently by you while raising this query? Did a feeling of insecurity grasp you?
Secondly, you say that due to your health and high cost of living, you shifted to your native place. I am not asking you to specify your health problem, but would certainly like you to clarify whether you had taken up a job in Dubai and was it really impossible for your husband to continue there alone?
Thirdly, what were you and your husband doing for survival after coming back?
Fourthly, was your mother-in-law dependent on your husband and were you staying together?
Fifthly, a vague statement that your mother-in-law turned your husband against you does not suffice to come to a proper conclusion. It can't happen all of a sudden. There has to be some reason.
Sixthly, now that you are living separately, is there any contact between you two or between your families? Do you have a child? Are you living with your parents?
Leaving all the clarifications I have sought for to you to think upon seriously, let me try to answer your basic query.
Your husband cannot 'legally' marry again unless and until he get a divorce from you. If you really love your husband and is confident that the existing problems can be sorted out amicably, I suggest you to consult a good lawyer and file a suit for Restitution of Conjugal Rights in the appropriate court. A favorable order from the court can ensure that you live with your husband. But remember that a court order will only ensure that you live together. Both of you will have to adjust and discuss issues between you and reach an amicable solution if you want to live 'happily'.
My questions to you and the solution provided is based on certain assumptions and it is you who will have to deliberate and think positively. It is up to you to decide how the marriage can be sustained and how you can lead a successful married life. Be serious and practical. A happy married life is all about understanding each other in all aspects and making some adjustments to create a balance. All the best!