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I would like to take a suggestion on finding a girl from orphanage


Date: 07 May 2016   Posted By: SUNDARESA GUPTHA     Group: Family & Life    Category: Marriage   

Hi,

I do not have parents. Brought up by my uncles for sometime, then grown in hostel. Completed Engineering and working in an MNC. I do not think my uncles will be able to help me in looking for a girl. And also the girl's parents are rejecting me for not having family and properties. Is there an option for me to look for a girl from orphanage? If anyone can help me with answers, that would be great.

Thanks.


Wants to find a suitable girl for marriage from an orphanage. Here are the suggestions from our experts to know the process involved.


Author: Bipin Peter    09 May 2016      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

Hello,

First upon, I would like to congrats you for achieving a bright future even you grown without parents. You can get help of matrimonial sites to get a good girl which suit for you. In these days, lots of matrimonial sites are available in which you can give your details as well as your expectation. You may find the girls with your similar situation there. I appreciate your mentality to give life to a orphan girl, you can approach the charity societies which can help you find a girl for you.

As you know lots of poor girls are there who has good education and good character but they are not getting good proposal because lack of financial background. You can also choose a girl like that.

Regards,
Bipin


Author: Venkiteswaran.    09 May 2016      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

In your present situation, you may place matrimonial advertisement in popular newspapers, or register in a genuine and popular matrimonial web site. You may divulge only the essential detail and get responses in box to avoid non-serious respondents contacting you directly. In the advertisement you may tell that your parents are not alive. You may also tell that girls in similar situations can apply and preferred.

You may approach popular NGO s who are doing such social services tow women like conducting mass marriage, marriage of orphans etc. You can approach the authorities of established govt orphanages or orphanages well conducted by some charity and NGO organisations. There also you may tell your expectations clearly.

However, you should be convinced as well as have strong will never to feel regret that you have married an orphan. Past, of both you and your spouse should not interfere in your future lives. You both should have a mutual trust and true affection as between any normal couple.

Best Wishes.


Author: Timmappa Kamat    10 May 2016      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

I must congratulate you for the decision. Being a person with no family yourself, you can really understand what it feels to be without a family. I would ask you to stay put with your decision.
But please note that approaching an orphanage with the sole intention may be looked with suspicion. I would advice you to approach an NGO that arranges such alliances. That way, they will validate the correctness of the information provided by both the groom and the bride before taking a final call.
Please take care to be stubborn with your decision. The society at large may try to develop cracks in your relationship. Make sure you will not bring up the past life your (future) wife just because someone has chided you against her. Most of the time the relatives themselves indulge in such petty things. Do not forget that you will be her lone support system as she will have no one to lean back on when in distress except you.

Good Luck!


Author: Mahesh    10 May 2016      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

Most of the matrimony sites have such criteria in their site. So if you are looking for a girl who has no parents then that can be arranged as well. However orphanages don't maintain the contacts of girl who is grown up and left the premise. So only girls that you'd find in the premise who are not yet legal age to marry. So you should ignore the orphanage option.

I suggest you to go with the social work and other social options to find the girl who has no parents herself. The reason being most of the NGO and the orphanage don't have the such specific persons details. So you have to do a bit of searching and also meet more people to find a good girl in this direction.

I'd say don't narrow down your view in this and be open to anyone that comes in your life. Because happiness never comes to you when you are setting up a condition.

All the best.


Author: Juana    12 May 2016      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 5  (Rs 5)    Voting Score: 0

Congratulations on your achievements and making a life for yourself, despite all odds. However, I do not concur with views posted above that you are doing a good deed in wanting to marry an orphan. Let's be honest, it is a selfish motive – for want of anything better.

My advice to you is to not marry an orphan just because there are difficulties in finding a partner. If you want to make an orphan your life partner, that must be the sole reason – not an afterthought – if not this than that! You will never be happy because at the back of your mind the thought of what could have been will always linger. Think of how the orphan you bring home as a wife will feel when she realizes you married her as a last resort. You are not shopping for groceries that you pick the next best option, if what you want is not within your budget.

If you are well educated and are employed in an MNC there should be no problem in finding a suitable match. Be honest upfront, with the people you meet. Let them know your life story and take a call. However, don't get cheated – for there will be many who will want to take advantage of your 'alone' status.
1. Speak to your uncles about wanting to get married. They just might help you.
2. The reason for rejection you say, is you not having property. Why don't you take a loan and buy an apartment? It will show you as someone capable of achieving things on your own mettle.
3. Register yourself on online matrimonial portals.
4. Advertise in newspaper matrimonial columns.
5. Speak to your colleagues and people in your friend circle. Most people know of some family, with decent antecedents looking for a match for their daughter.
6. Is there someone in your office, who might be interested in you!

You haven't mentioned how old you are. It is better to find the 'right' partner, than marrying someone in haste, because things are not proceeding as per design.


Author: Joyshree    24 May 2016      Member Level: Gold     Points : 4  (Rs 4)    Voting Score: 0

It is really nice that you are thinking of adopting a girl child. You can contact popular orphanages like CRY or Angel, etc. to proceed. You will get their contact information from their official website. You will have to place photocopies and originals of the documents of your income, home, and citizenship to the orphanage.
I don't know what you mean by the girl's parents. Do you mean the guardians of the orphanage? In that case, probably they are worried about the fact when you eventually marry someone.
What happens if the father doesn't like this concept? Then your child will become an orphan again. It will put her through mental trauma. So it is better that you proceed to adoption after you marry someone. This way the child will get love from both the parents and the child a healthy lifestyle too. Moreover, you will get a mature adult in your life to help you raise a child. So you can think about this.


Author: [Anonymous]    09 Sep 2016      Member Level: Silver     Points : 5  (Rs 5)    Voting Score: 0

You are well educated as well as working and thus I see no reason for you being rejected by girls parents. It is sad to hear that you had to spend your childhood without the compassion of parents. Although you had your uncles who looked after you and helped you to become what you are right now. You might have been rejected a few times but this does not mean that you will never get an acceptance ever. There are many girls who love to live in a nuclear family, so this can be an advantage to you and as regarding financial stability I am pretty sure with passing time you will achieve that too.

It is but obvious that parents wish to secure their girls future and thus before marriage they like to inquire every thing about boy's family as well as his job, financial assets, property etc..... Family is essential because if something goes wrong between the couple, family will always be there to support them and help them understand where all they are going wrong. It is not wrong for parents of girls to search suitable boys who has property as well as good job for their daughters as they are always worried about their girls future and want best of everything for them.

Do not lose hope. You will definitely find a girl and understanding in-laws who will appreciate you for who you are. You need to communicate with your uncles and ask them to accompany you to meet parents of girls you are interested in. Though you do not have parents, presence of guardians at least will change the whole scenario. Your uncles have done so much for you and will understand what you are going through and will definitely help you if you sincerely ask their help. I don't think they will reject your humble request. Although don't ask them to find a girl for you as this may be too much to ask. You do all the work and find one for yourself and ask them to just accompany you and be there with you as their presence is all that matters.

If you re thinking of marrying an orphan girl then indeed you are about to do a good deed. You had to grow up without a family and no one knows better than you that how difficult it is to live without a family. Although you had your relatives. If you are thinking of marrying an orphan just because she will not have any sort of expectations from you and there will be no hindrances as well as trouble making from her side when compared to other girls where parents keep raising various issues, then you are on a wrong path. This is not a solution to your problem. This will be more like you are running out of options and this is the last one left.

Since you were all alone in your life and have grown up without a family, you will understand the importance of it. Likewise girl from an orphanage too will do the same and you both will make a good match and compliment each other. Marry an orphan only if you think you both can give a good life to each other and will be a family to each other. Don't simply marry her because parents of other girls have lots of expectations and you are not able to meet any of them. This will be a more of selfish act.

Also keep in mind whoever you marry she need to be a perfect match to you. She may or may not be an orphan but should complement you in all the ways. She has to accept you with all your strengths and weaknesses. There are many girls out there who will appreciate you for the real you. It is high time now that you stop being disheartened and start looking for a girl who will make a perfect match to you.






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