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  • Category: Career Guidance

    How to refocus on career after getting married?


    Have a problem focusing on studies after marriage? Check out advice from experts on this page.

    I am 26 years old girl, completed my engineering and now in 2nd year of M.tech. I just got married, a month ago. During this period of marriage, I couldn't do anything of my project work. So there is a two months gap and now, though I want to focus on my project work. But I am not able to concentrate. I have lot of things to do now. I need to find a good job, and need to prepare accordingly. I want to complete my project successfully. Can you help me to refocus on my studies?
  • #140226
    First 2 years after marriage are likely to be in distraction. And you should not fight against this phase. Instead go with the flow. Accept that you may have distraction and lack of focus. However do pay attention to what you want to do after the initial 2 years of phase. Once properly settled with new family and the life. It helps if you focus your attention to the career or any other specific goal you have in mind.

    You can focus on the job if you are continuing it after marriage. If you have taken some gap after marriage and going for different company, then you can do that as well. You should go back to the company you left and ask them if you can rejoin again. If that turns out to be positive, then resume back to the job and then venture ahead in your career.

    The trick here is to balance the personal life and career. Though career can be important in life. But neglecting family and personal space in order to focus on career may not be good for health and mind. So just take it with the flow.

    Focus comes from doing one task at a time. If you try to do too many things in order to get it done, then it may not end well. This has happened to many people in past. So lack of focus on project comes from thinking too much. Just focus on what is in your hand and the proceed accordingly.

  • #140228
    Marriage is not a hindrance in career growth or for advance study. In some cases if husband cooperates with wife then it becomes boon to focus on your career and higher study. Same is the case with me. Once my wife is with me, I can concentrate on any task and I am unable to concentrate when we are away from each other. I t is good that you got married at correct age.
    It is true that ladies responsibility multiplies after marries. After marriage girls are bound to look after two families. A girl has to take care of her husband, his parent and to her own parents and families. Girls responsibilities shifts from individual to collective.

    How to focus on career and studies after marriage
    1. Involve your husband in planning the activity for a day or week,
    2. If both of you are in same field, then need not to worry. In fact it gives you added advantage to boost your career and studies,
    3. Convince your husband and his family for your further studies,
    4. Now a days most of the parents want working daughter in law, so there would not be any problem, until your in laws are from very conservative sense.
    Marriage is very important part of life and it should happen at correct time as you have done. One inning of the life you have played on time and I hope rest everything will happen in your favour.

  • #140231
    Focusing on studies can be done at any point before marriage or after marriage. I know a girl after getting married will have lot of responsibilities of family. Before getting a job first complete your M-TECH and your project work. Take the help of your family members to complete your gap of two months which you missed. If your project is mentioned in ISC then I think most of the members will try to help you in your project work also.
    A constructor while building steps builds the first step and then the second one similarly first complete your M- Tech then try to search a job. All works together can be done perfectly.

  • #140246
    Hi,
    First of all congratulations for your marriage.
    Marriage is a life turning step in our life and we have to adjust at many points initially. Not only wives but husbands also need to adjust at some points. So, please do not be panic. Give some time to everything to get settle down.
    Share about your ongoing M.Tech course and project with your family and they will surely help you out for the same. If it is workable, you can move back to your own place for some time and there you can study normally without any disturbance.
    I appeared for CSIR NET examinations and cleared the same with good scores after my marriage.
    Regarding job, please take a break to enjoy the beauty of this new relation. Complete your Studies and then spend some good time with our family. This will bring you closer to them and will lead to strong bonding for the life time.

    Padmini

    Living & Learning- simultaneous processes!

  • #140265
    First of all, I wish you all the best in the ensuing time and hope you should enjoy your married life in a pleasant atmosphere. With regard to your final career, it may not be that much difficult to sustain your activities provided you have the open dialogue with your fiancé and apprise him of your determination. After all, he is your best companion to share each and every moment of your life and with the deliberation of the facts with him would lessen your burden.
    You must focus on your completion of M.Tech course since you have put in your genuine labour in the past in that direction. Even you can share your feelings with your mother - in - law or sister - in - laws so that you may get timely help of the relations in due time.
    After acquiring the M.Tech degree, you have to think of the future course of action such as your joining of Lecturership in a Government - college or any research institute where you would like to contribute in different projects.
    There are different public undertakings where Management - trainees ( Technical) are required and you may get the preference for the aquistion of Post - graduate degree in Engineering and if you want to make a career in such public - undertakings, the idea may not be bad.
    Before taking any step discuss the situation with your husband so that you may enjoy his moral support in all the ventures you want to undertake.

  • #140275
    Its good to get married at this age after a degree and your's is a professional degree in Engineering never mind of the group what have opted and awarded. Its good you have continued your education completing the first year and also you are in the second year of M.Tech. Since its a new path of marriage it will take some time to understand for you and for them to understand you. I hope your husband is also able to understand the working of a master's degree importance for both of your future if you are going to have a child. Nowadays the economy looks good for the families if both the husband and wife are working for living and supporting of the family.

    If you are having more responsibilities in the family like a joint family, tell them make your husband and auncle, aunt to understand the situation since you have crossed this much in education. It will be a financial support also for their family and also if you are rich, tell them it will good when starting a business. Just six months of your project would fetch a masters degree and will be helpful for your husband's family and for yours and theirs future.
    I hope your husband will be able to understand since this can fetch extra incomes and able to work in the same office where your husband works. Consult your husband regarding the time period of the project to get it completed and may help you regarding the completion.

    Not to stress too much on other for the opinion, give them time to think and tell you a good positive answer. While waiting for the answer, plan your project modules, and know your completion dates of the project and tell some extra days for your project time duration since ideas may evolve while doing projects that will need some time.
    It will take time to mingle with families based on the communications too.

  • #140306
    For the girls this is the main draw back and problem. Before the marriage itself there must be agreement and understanding between the husband, his parents as to the continuing of studies by the bride and that should not be hindered. I do agree that after the marriage the girl has to listen to the advise of her husband and in laws and she cannot assert freedom. But getting qualified as M tech Engineer would ensure immediate job that benefits your husband and his parents. So try to prevail on them and convince the importance of completing the studies , otherwise your Engineering course itself goes waste without full studies.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #140680
    As you said " I want to focus on my project work. But I am not able to concentrate". Find the reasons, why are you not able to concentrate? You know better whether it is fear, worries, house hold cores or separation from your husband. You talk to your husband about your problem, he will manage the issue. Remove your worries and fear. leave everything and concentrate on your goal. If your have interest in study nothing can hold you. You must have a burning desire to excel in life.
    The greatest wealth in this world is mental peace and good health.

  • #140719
    Hi,
    First I will tell you find the reason behind your lack of concentration and you should not be worried. In our country there is so much expectation on a girls after their marriage as they have to look after two families. It is so common that of yours in any girl's life. take your time and go with the flow. try to balance your personal and professional life.
    First you concentrate on your studies and project work as you have to complete your studies to get the MTech degree. Because after completion of your degree you can only be able for a suitable job. If you now lack of time do not go for a job now, rather I will advice to take a break after your final exam to enjoy your newly married life. In the mean time you can prepare for jobs both private and govt jobs by admitting in any good coaching center. Sit for various exams in different sector. But whatever you do, do it with a perfect planning. try to involve your husband, your in laws and also your parents in your decision. at the end warm wishes for your newly married life.


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