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  • Category: Marriage

    How to convince my girlfirend for love marriage


    Planning to do an inter caste love marriage? Have a query about how to convince girl friend to get married? Find advice from experts here.

    l am from SC caste and my girlfriend is from OBC caste. We are loving each other from 2 yrs. We both want to get married but my girl friend refused to do. Because she says that if she will marry me then her father will beat her mother very badly. Can you help me to convince my girl friend that after marriage nothing going to happen?
  • #140631
    Marriage is a commitment for life time and people going to marry with their beloveds have not to be afraid of apprehensions. You have to frankly ask your girl friend about her detailed family history. Why her mother is so much afraid of her father. What are the financial conditions and responsibilities of her family and whether it is only the cast issue that is perturbing her or it is some social taboo.
    A detailed talk with the girl and if possible with her family members may straighten the things better.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #140633
    If you have to convince her for marriage, that means you two are not yet ready for marriage. Considering her due to her family reasons, would be harder to do so.In such case you have to talk to her parents. And if this turn out the bad way this may affect her future. So your best option in such case is to either call off long term view of this relationship. And another option is to make sure you and her work out with both side of parents. If this didn't worked out then your best option is to part ways. Easy to say and hard to do but that seems to be the option left for now.

  • #140635
    Firstly convince parents of your girl friend then now chance will increase and give strengthen to her parents.Do like what her parents like convince other members of family if they likes you then her father does nathing with his wife. if you are proper settled then they not rejects you.in order to convince,use point of negotiation.

  • #140646
    How old both of you are ? India is cursed with Castes. If you can take care of girl better way than her family status and girl is confident about it then you can meet to her parents with all your family. Make sure when you propose then put your points of earnings, wealth and family status in society.
    Before that make sure you have right partner. There are lot of domestic violence post marriage and people get divorce even if they have love marriage. Love age is very delicate , we don't think about post marriage situations because we think to achieve marriage and girl.
    For sure you are going to marry someone else and love your spouse as well. Just sit with girl and think about post marriage situations and what you can do about it. Like situation about rituals your family follow, Food you eat, Traditions you follow. Is girl ok with that? There are lot of couple think of having one child only. That too if you have baby girl then you should not get disappointed. Girls get scolded and victim of domestic violence because of it. Make sure you and girl are thinking same in all aspect
    For your information after marriage registration you will have 1 year to think about your marriage and partner and you can file annulment to void marriage. All the best.
    May be it will be question of dignity of manhood for Man but woman should not be victim of it. So she is right to say no if it is not accepted by her family.

    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful

  • #140650
    Sanjay, the very fact that your girlfriend is refusing to marry you, for whatever reasons, makes it amply clear that she is a girl who has got her priorities set. I don't think that her fear that her father would beat up her mother if she marries someone without their consent is an emotional decision. It shows that she is someone who can face issues with maturity and knows what is right and wrong and is capable of taking decisions keeping the future in mind. Do you think it would be nice if she joins you in life by destroying the relationship between her parents? I personally feel that her decision is wise.

    In this context, what I suggest is that instead of trying to convince her, why don't you make an effort to take the matter to an higher level? Why don't you involve your parents/elders and let them discuss the matter with her parents if she is willing for that. Instead of treading on the same path without being able to reach your destination, it would be better to take deviations and see if it could help. If after all the efforts, it appears to have reached a dead end, put your relationship under the carpet and start life afresh.

    Everything will subside after sometime and you will find yourself happy that you have not given into emotional pressures and is in a position to plan your life with clarity. Be practical! All the best!

    'Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance'- Confucius

  • #140724
    You need to have patience to convince your girl friend and don't think that you will loose your game ultimately. There are numerous circumstances which have been handled very successfully with the presence of mind. It appears that your girl friend is unnecessarily worried that her father would beat her mother in case she settles the marriage with you. You can reverse the circumstances by having a frank talkwith your would be father- in- law. Not necessarily, you should jump to final conclusion at the initial meetings. You have to have excellent patience and engage yourself with talks such as your hobbies, your tastes and explain the essential parameters of sustenance of marriage relationships. Such meetings may take place twice in a week and each session may stretch from thirty to fifty minutes. You can convince the parents of the girl that matching of the cast is not very important for the successful marriage but appreciation of feelings of each other and mutual trust would go a long way in strengthening the relationship.
    I hope you can tackle this delicate situation very effectively and finally you may tie the knot with the consent of the parent of the girl.

  • #140760
    Please make sure that what you think as 'love' between you is just friendship and infatuation only. How old are you both? Are you both or at least you are employed with a steady job and steady income?
    Reading the line"..if she will marry me then her father will beat her mother very badly." rings in me some alert and warning. Do you know about her family background well?

    If she is not ready to marry you, it is better that you part as friends now itself. That will be good for both of you.

  • #140799
    Love marriage is the contract of life long commitment between the two and both have to honor it for a successful marriage. In every love marriage there are apprehensions. There are fears in the mind of boy as well as the girl. They do not know whether their parents will approve it or not.
    Now true love does not stop for small hindrances or obstacles. You have always the option of leaving your parents and start the life a fresh. Though these extreme steps are not warranted.
    What is advisable it to talk with all the affected persons frankly and firmly to resolve any future misunderstanding. The issue is to be amicably settled and apprehensions and fears are to be nipped in the buds.
    There is no point in marrying first and talking later. No one will be ready to talk to you afterwards as there minds will be biased by that time.
    Prevention is better than cure and this applies in this case also.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.


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