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Category: Islam

01 Oct 2017 20:18

Joined:	01/10/2017
Level:	Bronze
Points:	3

Points:	3

Query about Inter Religion Marriage

Planning an inter religion marriage? Looking out for methods to convince parents? Read the responses from experts here and understand how, where and what to talk to your parents so that you can fulfill all your dreams with the love of your life.

I am 26 year old Muslim guy. I love a Hindu Girl and we are in a relation from last 4 years. Everybody knows about our relation in mine and her family. We want to marry but none of the family members are agreeing for our marriage. But my family will accept us after sometime as far as I know. But the main problem is that her family is not accepting me as I am a Muslim. They are worried about what people will say.

She doesn't want to go against her parents, but she also wants to spend her life with me. but on one condition that at least one of her parents must be agree.

So can you guide about how to convince her parents? Is there anyone who can really help me in this situation.

I really Love her a lot, I can't imagine my life without her. I have lots of dreams with her and want to fulfill all of my dreams with her only. I can do anything to get married with her.

Can you help me out in this since I need a solution for this situation?

#145864

02 Oct 2017 07:37

Joined:	12/10/2009
Level:	Platinum
Points:	195175

Points:	4

First of all one must have the guts and courage to lead the life. When the religions are coming your way , then chose the inner voice of yours and your girl friend and take decision accordingly. Normally no one would agree for a inter religion marriage for obvious reasons. But sometimes the parents would also feel that happiness of their children is prime and over the period of time they would also realize the reality and agree for the proposal. It is you and your life partner must decide now as to whether go ahead or part ways. If you both are firm no one can disturb your relations and marriage would imminent in future.

K Mohan
'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
Even this challenging situation would ease

#145865

02 Oct 2017 07:56

Joined:	02/01/2012
Level:	Diamond
Points:	31169

Points:	1

TThis response is marked as DELETED by the admin.

Deleted.

'Don't miss the Donut by looking through the hole'- Anonymous.

#145876

03 Oct 2017 12:31

Joined:	02/06/2009
Level:	Diamond
Points:	35098

Points:	3 (Rs 3)

You are a Muslim and you are in love with a Hindu girl. Both your parents and her parents know that you are in relation. If her parents are not really interested in this marriage how they allowed her to be in a relationship with you. This point I am not able to understand.If they don't want their daughter to marry a Muslim boy they might have advised and forced her to stop the relation at that point of time itself. Now she doesn't want to be with you if her parents won't accept. You try to convince her for marriage and get married. After sometimes your parents and her parents will accept. But be sure that both of you are not having any conflict of interest. That will create a problem later on in your married life. Another way to solve the problem is you can change your religion from Muslim to Hindu. Then her parents may not have any objection to marriage. Try any one of the two suggestions.

drrao
always confident

#145890

03 Oct 2017 19:33

Joined:	10/12/2016
Level:	Diamond
Points:	14210

Points:	4 (Rs 4)

Inter religion marriage is not a big issue now a days as many people are turning to cosmopolitan style of life.

The problem comes for the willingness of the parents in this matter as they are naturally concerned about the society as well as living with another religion person so closely.

You have to convince the parents of the girl about her future life in your house. They will definitely be concerned about that. What about your family ? Are they ready to accept the girl along with her religion. Are you sure you will not be deserting her in future for another girl as polygamy is very common in your society. These are the concerns which the parents of the girl might be having.

So put up your stand bravely and if there is an extreme step of leaving your religion as well the girl leaving her religion then you may have to consider it and live your life in that fashion. I do not know if such extreme steps will be agreeable to your parents.

If both of you love each other all these pros and cons are to be considered before taking a dicision.

Whatever you want to do, do it honestly because any cheating later on will spoil the life of the girl.

In later stages both of you should also be ready to take care of your parents or her parents if such an situation arises. This has to be done without any inhibition.

Knowledge is power.

#145891

03 Oct 2017 21:07

Posted By: [Anonymous]

Points:	5 (Rs 5)

Inter-caste and Inter-religious marriages are no longer a taboo. A lot depends on the level of education, social and monetary positions and the family background of both boy and girl.

26 years of age for a boy, I think is on the younger side to fully understand the consequences of a fallout between you two or between the two families. If you are in a relationship for 4 years with the knowledge of the elders, then I'm surprised that there are objections because to the outcome here was obviously a long time back.

Firstly convince yourself - it's not infatuation but true love, dreams are different from reality. Then the same from the girl's side. If both of you are sure that you two are committed to a lifelong relationship and ready to overcome hurdles together then you can think about marriage.

Secondly, what is the level of education or work that both of you can do or currently do? Getting married and riding into the sunset happens only in the movies. The expenses involved in running a family (rental, travel, household, food, clothes) and support a new addition (child) are quite high if you have to support each other on your own.

Thirdly every boy and girl will believe that parents will eventually agree after a few months or after the arrival of the first child. But here again, there are some other factors that get involved and force parents to keep aloof even if they like you.

Fourthly, try to get an idea of what is the fear of the girl's parents, is it that they will be social outcasts, does the girl have a younger sister or brother to be married, do they come from a very conservative family or a town where in this intercaste marriage would be a major blow to their standing in that particular neighbourhood which the girl's parents cannot withstand.

Try talking to them about the good between both of you and your commitment over 4 years and find an elder who can be a go-between both your families. This may take a while.

If things don't change and you still are committed to each other, then convince the girl for marriage, if only, if only that you honor your word that comes what you will do everything for the marriage to work and not abandon the girl later on for whatsoever reasons.

Lastly look at your financial situation, friends whom you can count upon, as if you do get married against family wishes, then you need help at hand to support you both at the time of need.

Discuss all these with the girl's parents and give an impression that you have really thought about everything long-term and will be looking after their daughter following their own traditions.

#145916

04 Oct 2017 15:49

Joined:	03/12/2016
Level:	Gold
Points:	1364

Points:	3 (Rs 3)

Intercaste marriages are not acceptable as the custom and culture of different religions are different. But the people,
who love each other should respect the customs and religions of each other. No comments and discriminations should be carried in the name of custom and religions. The parents of Hindu girl will have the fear that the girl has to leave her custom and religion. If you want to convince them, first you should convince the girl that you are free to follow your custom and religion after marriage. Then the girl will convince her parent easily.

Service to mankind is service to God.

#145926

05 Oct 2017 07:26

Joined:	23/09/2015
Level:	Diamond
Points:	45647

Points:	3 (Rs 3)

"She doesn't want to go against her parents, but she also wants to spend her life with me. but on one condition that at least one of her parents must be agree. "-This is generally not possible. In Indian society, a girl has to adjust and sometime suffer much more than the boy after marriage. In case of inter-religious marriage, the suffering of the girl increases manifold and sometime it becomes almost intolerable. So, girl's parents generally don't agree to inter-religious marriage.

As you are both adults, you have to decide about your marriage. The girl must think all the pros and cons of such marriage without emotion. She must analyse the entire issue (society, parents, next generation, in-laws, adjustment, career, cultural shock, etc.) logically and realistically. Only then a decision should be taken.

Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

#146046

11 Oct 2017 20:31

Joined:	19/06/2011
Level:	Diamond
Points:	65906

Points:	4 (Rs 4)

Theoretically speaking, as you are adults, you both can go for a civil marriage and live as husband and wife. Practically ca you do that ignoring the various influences and attachments you already have?
The reality is far from the ideal theory. It will have a lot of 'if's and 'but's.

The parents on both sides are just behaving like any other average parents in similar situations. However being parents, they may ultimately give up and sacrifice for their child's sake.
I am sure definitely one side and sometimes both side parents will be compromising as inevitability, but ending up in silent tears, though outwardly they may not show it for the sake of their children.

A good solution is for both of you go for a civil marriage, and agree to follow individual's religious faith in privacy or follow a totally non-religious, but civil and human life and routine and maintaining good relationship to both side relatives. But here also problems can arise after you get children as how to bring up that child. Any other solution will be calling for the sacrifice and loss to one side, which may later on create sense of betrayal and exploitation. Sometimes there can be some social ruptures happening also if one gets changed to the other faith.

It is better to be realistic. If you both can now separate and part as friends, then that will be an ideal solution which can satisfy all others. Sometimes we also can sacrifice rather than making our parents and well wishers sacrifice for us. A small sacrifice now may help avoid many serious troubles happening in future. Afterall, you both have relationship of only 4 years. But parents of either side (you or your girl friend) have at leasttwenty years or more relationship with their children. So why not sacrifice the short term acquantance for their sake?
Whatever you do, please weigh all the factors for and against from the pedestal of individual and social realities.

There can still be some middle of the road solutions whereby both sides understand and compromise without losing. Time and patience may bring up such solutions. Best wishes.

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