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  • Category: Indian Law

    What is the best solution for this problem?


    Having a problem with married life? Wondering what to do if spouse has abandoned you? Check out this page and understand how to resolve this issue and if needed how to proceed for a divorce.

    I am from Tamilnadu. I am 28 years old. I got married before three years. He left me alone and he has gone with his family. For almost one year we both are living separately.
    From the first day of my marriage, I am experiencing immense pain only. He do not have any interest in family bonding. He would not go to work. He asked me to go to work and earn. He left me and he moved to his native without saying anything. We do not have kids. He has stayed with me only 300 days out of 1000 days. In the past one year I am living alone with my parents.
    I do not wish to live with him anymore. I want divorce and I am planning to lead my life either separately nor marrying someone who understands me very well. Me and my parents keep on calling his father to speak with us and come to a solution for this problem. But from his side I am getting silence only.
    In this case what is the best solution for me?
    What is the procedure in Tamilnadu to get divorce?
  • #146005
    Please contact the best lawyer in your area and send him a legal notice. You explain the facts with all details to the lawyer. The lawyer will send the notice to your husband with all facts and figures. Then if there is no reply from him you can move the court through the same lawyer regarding divorce. But If you feel that you can change your husband and make him stay together with you, you can give a try. If you feel that there is no way of changing him proceed to the lawyer.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #146006

    You have been married for three years of which you have spent 1/3 time together.

    Most often hurdles or misunderstanding are highest in the first 6 months- 2 years in a marriage. so please first try and see what the real issue is, often involving elders or parents makes it worse because they are emotionally biased (the girl's side are expected to be reconciliatory and agreeable to everything that's said and the boy's side expect to be more authoritative and dictating terms). Try using a common friend or a well-wisher who would be approachable to your husband.

    Try to meet up and see what is the basic issue, is it money or is it a misunderstanding or an issue of ego ( this is more common than we think). If you both agree that there are issues that can be overcome, then you can always start with a family counselor to help you both. Please give this a try for at least 6 months and see if it makes a difference. It's worth it once the difficult phase passes on because there are no promises that next one would be a smooth sailing or a fairy tale life.

    If both of you discuss and then come to an understanding that you cannot live together under any circumstance but would part as friends, then you can approach the legal authorities for a Divorce with mutual consent, this is easier because you both agree to separate amicably.In a way its good that children are not present here.

    You can approach a family court, these often give the practical option for both of you including suggestions and divorce.There were around 20 family courts in Tamilnadu as of 2016.The one in Chennai is Family Court, High Court Campus, Chennai-104.


    If there is no response to the initial suggestions of meeting up, then see a good lawyer. Quick divorce doesn't happen easily, it takes anywhere for 2 years-10 years( if one party decides to drag it out). The two grounds for divorce here would be Cruelty (mental) the pain is so bad that both cannot live together and Desertion.

  • #146012
    To understand the situation more clearly we need to know more details. But anyway by whatever you said it is vivid that he does not have interest to live with you. So it is always better to stay on your divorce decision as there is no point in fixing holes in a sunk ship. You are 28 year old you got enough time to find someone who understands you and who is responsible to keep up the family bonds. So don't get frustrated with a failed relationship and don't take decisions based on the bad experience. Always think good times are yet to come. Try to get some references from known people and friends and find a good lawyer who can help you on this.

  • #146016
    From what is narrated in your question, it is clear that there is only one solution-divorce.
    There is a recent development in legal side that helps faster divorce for those who ask for divorce with mutual consent and who had already lived separately for one year or more. You may consult an experienced lawyer in this kind of cases and apply for divorce with mutual consent.

    However if husband does not agree for mutual settlement, then that may lead to contest and delay . Let the the question of marrying again or staying alone all remain for dealing only after getting legally divorced. So concentrate on divorce matter first. If you are a believer, have faith and pray as per your faith and belief.

    Do not create any situation, word or deed, that may provoke the husband's side to resist the divorce or enable them to help in their contest arguments.
    Keep self confidence, continue with your job and also tell your parents also not to be worrying an give them confidence. Best Wishes for a happy future life.

  • #146024
    For your query, I,e seeking a divorce from him legally its better you consult a lawyer for the legal process. But I would suggest you that before filing for divorce you go to his house and talk to him with a calm mind and find whether you can find a solution for this problem. It's better you speak to his parents about his behavior to you and find the reason's why its so? By reading your query I think he was not interested in marrying you. Find out whether he is interested in any other girl if so it better you come out of this relationship and start a new life and marry a person who understands you. Otherwise please go to his home talk to him about your relationship and about your future in this relationship. If he agree's its fine otherwise mention him that you are will to come out of this relationship and filing a divorce case. Because mutual divorce will take less time for judgment and you will be free from tensions. Suppose without knowing his knowledge if you file a divorce case there are chances for him to go against it where it's a lengthy process. There is always a solution for this problem. For such situations, you need a lot of patience. So be calm and handle politely.

  • #146028
    If you are not living with your husband for three years and don't have physical relation with him, you can seek divorce on that ground. Your case will be stronger by the fact that your husband doesn't pay for your maintenance.

    At the first instance, try to settle the matter amicably, i.e., try to get divorce by mutual consent. It is less time-consuming and the legal process is relatively less complicated. Consult a lawyer and file a case for divorce by mututal consent in a family court in your locality.

    As far as I know, the rule for divorce is same everywhere in India (except Jammu & Kashmir).

    Caution: Explosive. Handle with care.

  • #146029
    There s no point in sustaining such relationship having one sided relationship. Remember the way he has behaved with you in the past is itself showing showing his future - trend of behaviour. Living with him would multiply your tension and as such it is not advisable to continue such a tensed relationship.
    What is to be done at this stage is to approach an imminent lawyer and a notice is to sent to your husband indicating the very clear reason why he should not be divorced for such irrespsible behaviour and the case should be instituted in the family court. Though the process would take some time in the settlement. In this process you lawyer has to provide positive proof of your husband's harassment both in terms of physical and mental one. Your lawyer has to prove that you are not being offered any financial assistance by way of day to day maintenance.
    However, in order to reduce the time in this cumbersome process, you may take your husband's consent in the case of your divorce and apprise the court that both the parties are equally interested to get divorce with their consent and in that way the process in getting the divorce would be easier.

  • #146182
    If you feel it is better to get divorce, then why don't your parents go and visit their family to sort out things and to end up in a mutual divorce so that it is beneficial for both the parties. Still if you are not getting a positive response from him and his parents, then go legally. You need not waste your time waiting for someone who doesn't respond when you have laws in the country to save you.

    Consult a good lawyer of the family court and discuss the matter with him. Your husband's permission is not required for you to file a divorce case against him. So you go ahead and file a divorce case mentioning the issues you have faced when living with him. The court will then sent summons to him. He will have to appear in front of the court and then court will decide whether to grant divorce or not based on the arguments from both side. In case of non bailable offence like 498A, then police will arrest him if he is not appearing in front of the court.

    In front of the court you will get a chance to explain things and be clear then. Also you have the right to get maintenance from him. The amount will be decided by the court considering various factors like his job. You are entitled to receive maintenance every month until you remarry. Your lawyer will be in a better position to explain things clearly to you. So don't waste your time as your age is increasing every year. Live your life and move legally against your husband.

    Regards
    Chitra
    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #146225
    Law is for all. First of all you have spend the time with him for about 300 days. Nobody can understand your life than you. This is your life and you have to handle it safe.Before apply to divorce, ask some questions to you to analyse better.
    Are you understand each other?
    Do you know the cause of the problem?
    Are you happy on those days?
    If anyone can compromise to lead better life?
    Why his parents or your parents not handle this?

    Because breaking relationship is easily nowadays. So analyse yourself and if the answer and your partner is not
    suitable to you don't wait for longtime and apply to legal separation. I wish you to lead good and happy life.


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