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  • Category: Family & Life

    Ex roommates becoming unbearable


    Having a problem with roommates? Searching for a feasible solution on the web? Find tips and ample advice from experts on this page and resolve your stress.

    My ex roommates keep on commenting on me everywhere. They have now included my branch mates also. They have told all their friends to comment on me. They don't let me eat or study peacefully. Whatever small things I do, they comment on that. It's becoming unbearable. I want to teach them a lesson.
    What should I do?
  • #147200
    Why are they behaving like this? You are telling that they are ex-roommates. It indicates that you are all close. Now why they are criticizing you. Think of the reasons. My opinion is there may be a reason which is prompting them to do this. So introspect your self and if any correction is needed from your side do it. If they are unnecessarily doing that please ask them to sit and discuss with them in detail why they are behaving that way. If they say it is fun, you can also make fun of them or you can tell them that you are not liking their behaviour and tell them not to talk about you anywhere. If still, they are not cooperating please lodge a complaint with hostel warden or principal.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #147216
    I would say forget the tought of teaching a lesson. Most of us as we grow see such people at school,college,hostel and at workplace. Thanks to such people, you realise what good and bad humna behaviour is.
    First think of the events that triggered this behavior,
    It could simply be
    you have many friends in class
    girls are more friendly with you
    you help people often
    you are good at studies
    you are a favourite among teachers
    you lead a life filled with happiness without worries
    you are good natured
    These are qualities that God doesn't give to everyone. So, the people who are opposite to you would behave like this.
    Try to think about this, have you made a mistake or passed a harsh comment about them somewhere in the past. IF this is the case, then make peace with them voluntarily.
    I would say, there would be common friends on both sides, please have a informal discussion and try to be friends and have an open talk over some simple dinner or an outing on a holiday. Try not to blow up simple issues and take it to heart.
    If this doesn't work, try the simple approach of not reacting in a predictable way to such behavior. Try ignoring or even taking this in a easy going manner, they would be surprised and certainly change.
    If this also does not help, if not then speak to the Warden, once you escalate it, you have to be careful about your personal safety as your trouble makers make take it as an offence and plan more trouble for you.
    If you safety is at risk, then think about changing the place.

  • #147229
    I would suggest that you go along with one of your good friend to them and ask why they are doing so with you?

    Please be bold and fight against it. Just don't bear it and give it back in an intelligent way. Take help of your elders if required or approach police if it's too offensive.

    Remember the more you bear the more you give others liberty to hurt you. Record their acts and show it to your elders at your university/home so that they are ashamed in front of few people and never get into such acts.

    Suggest being vigilant and careful while trying all the above moves. Good luck!

  • #147247
    You have not indicated whether you are still studying or not. If you are still studying and have not yet completed your course, in all probability you are staying in a hostel. From your version, all the former room-mates and even your class-mates have ganged up against you. This is peculiar to me. I heard about ragging from senior students and harassment by some teachers, but not from all class-mates.

    If it is true, then there must be some genuine reasons. It also indicates your inability to mix in a group. This quality would be absolutely essential for you in future. So, for the sake of your own benefit, make truce with them. Forget about the thinking of taking revenge. It will harm your study and in case of your future campus recruitment.

    Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

  • #147255
    From your narration it is very clear that you had some friendship if not very close with your ex room mates. During that time they must have known your habits and temperaments. It is not very clear from your query that why you have separated to different rooms. Anyway people having differences can not and should not live to gather.
    Now one thing which is very important is whether they are doing it out of jealousy or just for fun of it. If it is only for fun then you have to ignore it or just smile and join them for some time and then ignore it. Please remember if you show them your irritation they will be prompted to do it more. So keep a calm and patience posture and after some time they will themselves fade away.
    Are you an alone guy in the campus? Have you not got a group of like minded people with you? If not I suggest you to explore for this and once you are in a group those mischievous ones may not dare to unnecessary tease you.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #147262
    The fact that you were once roommates is itself indicating to the point that you had some element of friendship in the beginning but due to certain differences or situations you were dwelling in separate rooms with other people.

    Now there are some people who do not forget their confrontations with others and keep it in their mind and try to settle score at every opportunity. Probably the people who are teasing you belong to this category. If it is so than you have to be a bit cautious with them and if possible try to negotiate cordially with them to come back to normal circumstances.

    As other members have also mentioned in their answers I will also suggest to keep a calm and patient temper while dealing with them as any hostile attitude may only put more fuel in the fire.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #147264
    May be you have had a strained relationship with your ex- roommate and as such he wants to exploit every oppurtunity to tarnish your image. You have to understand the common psycology of the the human being. You had been generous -taking maximum care of his well being but the same reciprocality may not be visible in your ex - rommate.
    There are two ways to tackle this problems, the first one is to ignore his comments as far as possible. The less you are reactive, the better. Try to be normal even if you happen to meet with someone having close relationship with your ex- roommate. Answer his queries in a normal manner. Display courtesy in your manner and your consistency in behaviour can dilute the plan made by your ex- roomate.
    Sometimes, jealousy becomes the root cause of having a sour relationship. If you are appreciated by your seniors for a particular quality or if you are good at studies or you are good looking and well mannered - all these qualities or even possessing such qualities partly would be enough to have triggered jealousy and once it develops within the mindset of human being, it would be hard to desist from such habits. Mind it these are the transition periods and would die down ultimately, if calmness is maintained.
    The other way would be to have a frank talk with your ex - roommate and try to trace out the cause for such irresponsible manner. May be some fruitful results would emerge out with such deliberations.
    To complain to Principal or Warden should be the last resort since by doing so, you're u would allow your ex - roommate to be aggressive and some unknown forces would come into pay making the situation unmanageable at later stage.

  • #147288
    "Ex-room mates becoming unbearable, present roommates are being influenced by them", a very common sentence comes out during our stay outside home. It's all in the game. While staying in hostel for studies, everyone will come across such situations and we can't get along with all the inmates. Different factors would play their role for the eccentric behaviour of the students. Since they are your ex-room mates, just analyse their behaviour and also your drawbacks while dealing with people. The reasons for your fall out with them and choosing new companions also need to be evaluated. If they are jealous of your performance and activities, better you ignore them and truth will prevail, then other people also would realize the reason.

    A dialogue with them may serve purpose but not completely sure. A good character would always won't speak about others and confine to himself and his future. As you reached the optimum level with their behaviour, better speak to your warden or the teacher-in-charge so that they could be warned and strictly watched by them. Avoiding such people would always be the best medicine and the result would be very positive.

    Regards,
    Jagdish

  • #148664
    You don't have specified much about you and your friends. But it seems that they are not your friends. If they are your true friends then they must not behaving like that.
    So try to talk with them that why they are doing such nasty things? At the same time inspect yourself also. Is there any fault in you? If such a thing, then try to change yourself.
    Try to make more friends with like minded people in your campus. Hope it will work.
    Do not think about taking revenge. If the problem persists then inform your hostel warden or your principal for solution.

  • #148900
    First you report the matter to your principal/ administration. Administration should call their parents and give them warning not to repeat such act in future. do not take revenge and do not pay much attention to them. This will solve your problem.
    The greatest wealth in this world is mental peace and good health.

  • #150697
    1. Frankly tell them that you do not like what they do so please not to do otherwise you won't be anymore with them.
    2. Friends are for few years after that once you get married and settle in life you will not have time to know what friends are doing and meeting them regularly. I have had many irritating friends but even now I don't remember them. Think it as positive and try to boost yourself to reach a mark where no one dare to make fun of you. Mark could be anything like good position in government or in private.
    3. Silence is best solution of all problems. More you are silent more you will be avoiding them so do your work and don't respond to them. Don't meet and interact them. Make new friends and more you go away from those fun making friends you will be comfortable.

    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful


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