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  • Category: Marriage

    I am not able to convince myself to marry a short girl


    Wondering whether the spouse height can be 10" more? Will this difference not look odd as a pair? Probe though this page and get answers from Experts for this worry.

    I am 5'10 tall, brown skin guy and looking for the marriage proposals.My family wants me to meet a girl who is much shorter than me. She is 5 feet tall.
    If I meet and if everything goes well and if I marry her: will we look odd as a pair?
    Do guide me in the right way.
  • #149652
    Marriage is a relation of lifetime and is basically based on the love and affection between the couple. In the initial phase the physical attraction overrides but later as the time passes the mutual respect and faith takes over and relationship depends on mental compatibility and not on physical attractions.

    So you have to see what is your take on that. You may get a good height girl but she may not prove a cordial housewife and may with her behaviour antagonise the family members. So I will suggest to find out about the behavior and virtues of the girl and then compromise on beauty to some extent.

    An average looking short girl with good brains and behaviour will be a good life partner than that of a tall, exquisitely beautiful girl having quarrelsome nature.

    Please remember it is a lifetime decision and you have to live with her for a long long time. If your parents have enquired about the credentials of the girl belonging to a good family then you can take a decision on that.

    Do not take a hasty decision. Scrutinize all the proposals and decide for your future partner. Do not bother for society, as it comments on all combinations. Take your own decisions as per your preferences.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #149657
    Marriage is purely a private issue and it will be with only one person per lifetime and we should think very seriously and then understand the opinion of the other party also and then we have to take a decision. Everyone will have his own priorities and wishes. A good marriage life is always required and it more depends on the understanding nature and adjustable mentality of the individuals.
    The physical appearance, height etc., parameters are the choices of the individual. The decision should be taken by you and the girl by thinking thoroughly.
    My Uncle (Father's Brother) is 6 feet 1-inch height. My Aunt (His wife) is 5 feet height. They had a very good married life and they had 7 kids.
    My father is 5 feet 8 inches and they are also having a good married life. Both of them are still living happily in our native village. we are 9 brothers and sisters.
    So that all depends on individual's thinking and choice. Please give calm thinking and then take a decision

    drrao
    always confident

  • #149658
    Marriage is the union of two souls. In India, marriage also signifies the development of a relationship between two families. Physical features will not be important within a very short span of time. So, while considering the marriage proposal, you must try to find out whether both of you are compatible with each other, or not. If you think both of you are mentally compatible, go for the marriage. Physical features are not that important.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #149659
    From your question it is clear that you have issues only with the girl's height. But you really liked the other things in her. It may be her intelligence, may be her behavior or may be her beauty. Actually marriage is basically a life long understanding between two separate people. Both of you have to maintain this mutual understanding for a happy married life.
    When you are young the physical beauty is important, but when both of you are growing old, it really does not matter. You may think what other people or society will say? Don't think so much, because it is your personal matter. When you are marrying someone isn't it more important that how much she is adjusting with your family members than her height. Although beauty, height, complexion etc. plays key role when we are choosing our life partners. But you must have to realize that all these things are not very important. A life partner with golden heart and good behavior is so much important for a successful marriage.
    You can see couples around you with so many odd looking thing in their outer looks, but they runs a very successful married life. On the other hand there are so many couples who looks good but there are so many differences between them and running unhappy married life.
    So, now the decision is yours. You can met her and talk to her, to know about her likes and dislikes, your common interests and hobbies etc. As per my opinion you may got another girl who may be taller than this girl, but she may not be such qualities like this girl. Thus cancellation of this girl due to only her height may not be a good decision.
    You said about odd looking pair, which may not happen if you convince her for wearing high heel shoes if she doesn't have any problems for wearing heels.
    So, decide in a cool brain think about all pros and construction about these marriage because marriage is a life long decision. Physical beauty may be an important criteria for marriage but it must not be the only criteria of marriage.

  • #149661
    You might have a lot of married couples in your known circle, some would look a perfect couple and to others it might look like they were made for each other, but are they really happy being together?

    There are a lot more things that should be considered other than just height, when you are going to start a new phase of your life being marrying to some body.

    Do you know, height of Amitabh Bachhan is 6'1" while his wife Mrs Jaya Bachhan have a height of 5'2", do you think that makes any difference in their life and relation? I don't think so.


    Just don't think how she will look with you, she would look perfectly fine if you two get a good bonding and love between you.

    The major things that really matters in a marriage is love and how you guys treat your Parents, In-laws and other relative.

    Also, don't think what people will say. People are always saying a thing or the other but who cares, if you love each other let the dogs bark.
    People even talked about Lord Shri Ram Chandra whom we know as the Maryada Purushottam, and he had to drop his wife in the jungle.
    It's your life think for it.
    Assume, you get a beautiful girl with exactly the same height that you want and you two get married but then she does not respect your parents and their is conflict in the home daily. She does not care about others feelings and just want to satisfy her needs and desire, Would you feel good then
    OR

    You marry a girl with height less than your expectations but she treats your parents as her parents and takes very good care of you , you family and house. Always keep your orders , needs on priority than her own wills.

    What would you prefer. Think on every aspect because marriage is just not a ritual but our Hindu Dharma says "Marriage is just not a bond of bodies,
    but a Bond of souls."


    So always listen to your souls voice.
    You should consider meeting the girl, it is quite possible that you find all the qualities in her that you expect in your wife.

    The world is becoming a hateful place, lets spread some love

  • #149669
    Height should not be a concern. Even Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bachchan are of different height and yet they are cutest couple. What you need to consider is if that person is go getter and can she adjust in your lifestyle and you can adjust in her lifestyle. You will never get a person as you desire! We need to compromise a lot when we are in a relationship. Meet her , find out how she is , figure out if she is also interested and then you can take the decision. If you both love being together and then its likely that society too would love to see you together.

  • #149670
    As everyone suggested here, I too opine that height should not be a matter of serious concern. Just look at the successful pairs whom we consider as celebrities. Had they given importance to height as a preference for their combo, their life story would have been different. But not so. They liked each other & loved each other and now they have become our idols. One such pair I would like to mention would be Jaya Bachan and Amitabh Bachan. Don't they be a classic example to clarify your doubt?

    Yes. marriage is a bond between two souls where they understand each other, live together till they depart from the world. You need to compromise on certain elements of choice when you find a suitable soulmate. First, verify the family background since you are preferring an arranged marriage and ensure that both your families can have a better understanding. Express yourself to the girl and try to understand her. If everything matches you except the height, I don't think it would be a reason for rejection. As you are saying it is going to be an arranged one, try to explore more options if you are unable to compromise with the height factor of the girl. After all, it's your choice and your life.

    Regards,
    Jagdish

  • #149677
    By your query, I think you have not understood about the relationship of marriage and its value that you will be having throughout your life.
    First, let me clear off your doubt perfect pair are those who always understand each other in all circumstances and go in hand with all times. Your external appearance will never make you feel good pair. Yes, society will talk about marriage only that moment then it's only the couple who shape their future with mutual understands. But generally, I feel if your girl is good in nature and culture what a citizen must have then its better you proceed with the marriage relationship. External appearance like fair, short, not good looking will never matter as per my experience.
    What is the use if you marry a girl who is just a few inches short and thinking that you both make a good pair, but after marriage, if both have serious misunderstanding daily then your life will be like hell. That time your height will never come to solve your problem nor the society who were telling that you both make a good pair.
    So I would suggest you go and talk to her freely about everything and then you both can decide but the height difference must be ruled out in you.

  • #149683
    Height should not be the consideration for the finalisation of the marriage but we should take into account of other qualities such as trustworthiness, mutual respect and a sense of sacrifice in the event of crisis. Physical - appearance does not impact the marriage - relationship and so in your case, if your would be wife is a few inches shorter in height, it is not going to spoil your sweet relationship.
    In this context, I would emphasise the necessity of mental - maturity of both the sides to sustain the harmonial relation throughout the life and such attitude will definitely play a positive role in bringing up your kids as well.
    Even you can witness many pairs having a shortfall of height of either of the two have had true love in their matrimonial life and their companionship gave true inspiration to others.

  • #149684
    You are tall and handsome guy, you will get a slim and tall girl. There are plenty of girls who can match with you. Do not hurry, wait and look for another proposals. You must marry a girl who is 5 feet 3 inch to 5 feet 7 inch tall. You must look every trait you desire and compromise at the last if something is missing. Compromising at the initial stage will be foolishness. So i do not recommend this girl.
    The greatest wealth in this world is mental peace and good health.

  • #149696
    There is nothing wrong to marry a short girl many examples have already been given in this thread. If every thing is fine then go and marry the girl. Remember there is shortage of girls in every caste and if there is a proposal of marriage and you like do not reject her only on the basis of height. Love and affection is important in a marriage life.
    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #149739
    Marriage is a Lifelong relationship where Both Husband and Wife need to adjust to the family situations. In your case, you are 5 feet 10 inch and your girl is short. It does not matter you, you must choose a partner which will help you in your family and will give love affection to you. The person must choose the bride and don't hear opinions of your parents about the height issues. Marriage happens in heaven and I hope you will get a better partner for your lifelong relationship.
    "Earning knowledge is by sharing it with ISC and we will rectify our mistakes."

  • #149798
    Dear member, you have said if you like her and everything goes well means I am assuming you like her complexion wise. So I would say height should be concern of girl not you. Better you to discuss with her one final time as you both going to see each other rest of life.
    Sometimes having less height is also beneficial so think as positive aspect of this proposal. My wishes for your search and marriage life.

    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful

  • #149859
    Whatever it may be. For married life the mental satisfaction should be a vital point to succeed the same with peace. Now only people are thinking of education,color,standard of living,height etc., as criteria for marriage. We can see many couple in the public with different colors,height etc., but living a peaceful life and leaving everything behind. My suggestion here is looking for a good (here good means a good characterized but not well standard) family background is most important rather than color,height or anything. If family is good cultured automatically the life partner also same. Unless two harmony minds are there, the life is not peaceful.

  • #149923
    By genetics and geographical peculiarities, we have seen that women are generally shorter than men.
    It is traditionally and by default accepted that women are at shoulder heigh tor maximum to their ear height to their husband. Usually that is well accepted and no one feels it odd.

    In practice,due to the gait and dressing, women above a height of 5 ft or 5 '2'' appear as tall women. But 5'10 is not a tall figure as far as men are considered. Men look very tall only after a height of 6 ft.

    So in my personal opinion, you and the 5ft girl will look normal only as a pair.

    Moreover, marriage works and stabilises not on height and weight. It is matching of minds that is needed.

    You can both appear as matching in your heights by using certain tips and tricks.:
    Let her use high heeled footwear of suitable height with comfort. You avoid using high heels. She can have a hair do by making her appear as taller.
    She can wear light coloured and elongated striped dresses. To make you appear shorter, you can have compressed short hair cut and wear horizontal striped dresses.

    By the above small tricks the height gap can be lessened to a few inches and you both will appear as matching pair.
    So just for the height difference please do not stop the alliance proposal.

    Best Wishes.

  • #152565
    The fact is that physical appearance was not a choice, when one came to this world. No one was given a chance to decide his or her physical statistics. And therefore, ideally one should neither criticize nor favor the physical appearance too much.

    However, we are conditioned from the beginning to think in terms of good-bad, beautiful-ugly, right-wrong; & therefore find it too difficult to escape this conflict.

    But imagine a situation, if you were that girl with short height, would you have considered it your fault? I believe it's the love & respect that matters in any relationship. It's better to have a beautiful heart with ordinary body than ordinary heart with beautiful body.

    Eventually, it's the heart you live with, not the body. Hearts grow, body decay.

    "If you want to make real progress, you must give up all ideas of personal attainment".


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