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  • Category: Marriage

    Is Inter caste marriage possible in 2018?


    Planning for an intercaste marriage? Looking out for advice on how to convince the spouse's parents? Find advice and tips for resolving this issue on this page.

    My girl friends parents are not ready for our marriage due to caste.
    Her uncle is in police and they are forcibly asking give her thumb on blank paper.
    She is in trouble and her parents are beating and abusing her. I want to marry with that girl.
    If they do police complaint then what I can do? Can you help me to get that girl?
  • #150502
    Intercaste marriage is possible and is happening around us in 2018. It's neither easy nor a cake walk but it is for people who have a deep trust and bond of love between them.

    A difficult situation. First are you both of the legal age of marriage? In India a girl cannot marry before the age of 18 years and a boy before the age of 21. If you are sure about this, then both of you quickly decide about the strength in the bond of love between you two, can it withstand the hardship and difficult time facing social,family and legal process. I say this because, if your girlfriend in being beaten, then you have to approach the police authorities and local woman's protection wing of the local Government law enforcement agency or the Womens' emergency helpline. This link gives you the numbers (ncw.nic.in/frmhelpline.aspx).

    Once you do this then there is no turning back. You will have to face the anger, verbal abuse or even physical abuse from the girl's relatives and family. It is crucial that your girlfriend is in full agreement and does not turn back once you start the seeking legal help. If you know a good lawyer locally, then consult them and try to defuse the situation so that the physical abuse of the girl stops.

    Once this is done, then allow some time to pass, the anger of the family to subside. Intercaste marriage is all about handling the difficulites and opposition with maturity, patienence, asserstion and trust. It is human nature and normal for the girl's family to object but inhuman to abuse her.

    In due course after you ensure that the girl is out of the risk of physical harm, set up a meeting between common friends and both families, explain who strongly you both love each other, the plans you have in terms of a good stable job, a steady income and the resources to run a family and take care of children. Once you confidently have these in hand and the family understands that their daughter would be looked after and has support for a good married life, they would change their view and stance.

    If not, the go ahead with a registered marriage, start life with the support of your family and friends. With the passage of time, arrival of the first child, news that you both are doing well, the girls family would have a change of heart.

  • #150519
    To answer the title question strictly theoretically; YES. Inter-caste marriage is Possible in 2018; and it is happening.
    However when it comes to practical ground realities, from the many questions raised in this site itself,we can understand that there is some reluctance from the parents or family members or others, (of either or both side families.

    We also get to understand fro many incidents around us that in many of the cases the initial objection and hesitation gradually give way to more reason, logic and sense that the marriages take place with co-operation and blessings from families.
    From the media reports we also get to know that in some rare cases the objections go to such extent that some extreme things happen.

    However let us be positive and well wishing.

    In your case the crucial point is that her uncle is in Police department. Usually when disputes arise it is the Police who settle them amicably or strictly as per law. If the uncle is an unbiased and duty conscious policeman with firmness, then you can expect his help and approach him. However if he has already sided with the girl's parents and objects to the marriage, you cannot expect his sincere help.
    If the girl's side is also influential then with police help also they can do anything to stop you from marrying the girl.

    So now you have to be careful and confident and take steps properly.

    1. Ensure that your side will support and stand solidly with you both in crisis.Try to get support of some influential and elder relatives and well wishers from both sides. Let them talk and convince the girl's people.
    2. If they are still not agreeing, then you have to take bold decisions like going for civil marriage,provided both of you are legally allowed marriageable age.
    3 In that case you may have to secure the support of some popular and influential people so that the girl's side do not create trouble to you.
    4. Discreetly take the help of a good advocate to avoid any legal hurdles caused by the other side, and also to avoid committing procedural mistakes and to avoid loss of time.
    5. Be sure that after marriage you can stand on your own and manage a happy life.

  • #150521
    In a lighter vein, do watch some latest Tamil or Hindi movie, where this has happened, engage some goondas. smuggle that girl and get married!!

    Now, to the serious questions. Irrespective of whatever be the pressures, no one, can legally stop you from getting married to this girl.

    However, you also can take the help of good advocate and go to the court, pleading that they produce the girl in court. This cannot be avoided, since you can always point out that her life is in danger. Once done, in the presence of so many people in the court, if the girl gives it in writing or even orally declares that she is a major and has every right to get married to you, chances are that the court will take your submission and the girl's submission on record, and order the concerned authorities and relatives, including the police, to release the girl.

    The next step is to bring in all your relatives, in say, hundreds, and get her married to her, in a register marriage. Once this is done, you can have a normal marriage, with all relatives and friends attending it.

    There are also chances that since the court will be so serious, the girl's parents and relatives will also start seeing reason and unite both of you, though this is just a possibility.

    Taking judicial help is the only sane way out in this situation. Of course, you can also approach human rights specialists who can also guide you.

  • #150525
    Intercaste marriage is possible. If you are above 21 years and your would be above 18 years , legally nobody can stop you from getting married. If the elders are not accepting, you both can get the marriage done by registration in registrar office. You should take two witnesses with you. Once the registration is over nobody can question your marriage.
    Before going for this decision you should get the clearance from your love partner. Then both of you should try to convince her parents. You both should tell them in detail that you are very much interested in her and make them to agree. Even after that if they ate not accepting, go for the marriage. If they are trying to create problems, let her make a police complaint and they have to protect her.
    Once you are married, spending time happily and once you have a child all elders will forget the differences and accept you as their son in law.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #150530
    Inter-caste marriage is possible but both of you must be adult and have complete your age 21 and 18 years as per Indian constitution. Is your girlfriend also ready to marry you? If yes, then there is no problem.
    First, try to convince the family members of your girlfriend. I think anyone of her family will support the girl to marry you. Try to get the help of him. If you know any person which is related to both the family, you can ask him to support to convince the family members of your girlfriend.
    Don't be panic otherwise they can use it against you. As you told that her uncle is in police they can pressurise the girl and can use her against you. So, it is really important for you to take any discussion with great patience.

    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #150533
    As per present law if the age of a boy is 21 and girl has reached 18, they can very well go for a marriage if they are really sincerely inclined to do that.

    Please remember that marriage is a long term relationship based on mutual trust, confidence, sharing and caring, honesty, sacrifice and love. You should be very sure that in your case these ingredients are there otherwise the relationship will not sustain once the physical attraction and infatuation is over.

    Marriage is a life time decision. It is not a computer game that you play it whenever you desire so. Before taking any extreme step in the matter you must coolly think over the situation. What about the girl? Is she really in love with you or it is the attraction of the tender age towards opposite sex. The answer to these questions is required to take a decision in the matter.

    Do not be afraid of police. You have not done any crime. For some time keep low profile and clandestinely find out the facts at the other end. How much resistance the girl is able to make to her parents. Is she afraid of them or just for their prestige in society does not want to marry with you. Without finding these things you will not be able to take a prudent action. Do not publicise your love in public and do not try to copy the Indian cinema. You will be in great trouble if you indulge in such childish things.

    Let things cool down and then try to see whether her parents are ready to listen to your request about your happy life after marrying her and she is with all means ready for that life. It is very necessary to find out whether the girl can totally ignore her parents as well as their prestige in society for you. If the answer is yes you can at some opportune time get the marriage done in a court and take police protection for any ambush on you and the girl. These are extreme measures and are to be exercised with due diligence. Even a one percent non cooperation from the girl will make your efforts worthless and futile and you may land in problem.

    Please remember that real love requires sacrifice and that is the essence of it. If the girl is not coming up to these standards then simply forget her and search a better companion for your life. You should never go in a relationship with a flickering type of person.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #150544
    If both of you fulfil the age - parameter, what I mean to say that you have attained the age of 21 and your partner has attained the minimum age of 18, no one can stop for marrying the girl provided both of you are mentally prepared for the finalisation of marriage. There are certain important points to be considered prior to culmination of such an Intercaste - marriage. Points are listed below-
    1) Both of you should have enjoyed the close companionship so as to understand each other mentally and could understand the temperament of each other.
    2) You must judge your partner in terms of her humane qualities such as sacrifice, trust, patience and her ability to adjust in the hours of crisis to sustain the marriage relationship.
    3) In no case, both of you should be concious of having contracted a marriage though hailing from different caste.
    4) Think of the financial stability of the family. Both of you would need enough resources to meet the expenses of your kids covering their education, medical - treatment in the event of illness and so on apart from the normal expenses required for you couple.
    5) Now consider the present predicament. These problems are temperorary in nature and can be tackled by taking up a firm stand by you and your partner. Both of you should have the same opinion in resolving the issue. Better hire a lawyer and follow his advice in this regard. Never be afraid of her uncle being a Police - officer.
    6) You should not proceed for the marriage with the creation of undue - strain on her mind. Give her abundant time for consideration of pros and cons. In that way, she would come out with a decision without having mental - complexities. If your effort to persuade your partner for the marriage does not work out, it would be better to say good - bye and look out for matching - partner from elsewhere.

  • #150546
    In today's environment, inter-caste marriage is a very common thing and society is taking a proper cognizance of this fact.

    In your case, if you and your girlfriend are of a legal age that is 21 and 18 years respectively, there is no problem in this marriage.

    As per your narration, the parents of the girl are posing a lot of problem and hindrances in this relationship. This will be an adverse thing for you as the girl will be under pressure and just to honour her parents she may break this relationship.

    You have to consider this with prudence and wisdom as you are not in a position to dictate the terms. The girls are generally meek and obedient to their parents and may not dare to revolt against them. The only way left for you is try to persuade the parents of the girl in a respectful and requesting manner and see if they can consider your application.

    Eloping with the girl may also be not so fruitful as you may find yourself in troublesome times as the influential patents may create problems for you and your career. If you have financial concerns the girl will also not be happy with you.

    In view of these apprehensions, you can review your decision to marry with that particular girl.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #150657
    Inter caste marriages are possible in any situation and in any time. But you have to convince your life partner's parents. If they opposed means also you try to make them understand your love on your partner.

    If your spouse is loving you strongly then "CASTE NO MATTERS". Make her parents to understand there is no life without your spouse, and how you thinking about your spouse and how you are going to take care of your spouse.

    --> First expose yourself as a humble person to their parents. And tell them about how your going to take care of her in the future.

    --> If they are not accepting and looking only on your caste, then you can say "I can change my caste as your caste In my theme of love caste is not a matter love is matter". you can live with her and prove it.

    --> Still not accepting, if both are strong in love and majors. Then there is no any obstacles to your marriage.


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