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  • Category: Family & Life

    How to avoid shyness and gain confident.


    Are you facing the problem of shyness? Here are the methods which can help you to overcome this problem.

    During my class if a lecturer asks question I get nervous. Hence I can't converse and share the thoughts and answers I know. So it will be embarrassing to me. I want to know how to get rid of this problem and avoid shyness. Due to this problem, the person conversing with me feel negative and may not like me or the way I converse.
  • #152247
    This is a question which is asked in many question forums and ask agony aunt sections and is really a challenging aspect to handle.

    The shyness comes in us either due to heriditary reasons or due to circumstances in which we are brought up.

    Dealing with this demon is a challenging and difficult task but is possible with persistently trying and making efforts in this direction.

    Until unless, the attribute of shyness is removed from the person he will time and again fall in it's trap.

    There are many methods recommended in books and literature but nothing works if you do not have a strong will power to win over this.

    One has to practice talking coherently and loudly in front of a mirror to see where are the deficiencies and bottlenecks are there. Talking frequently with classmates is also a way to gain confidence. More social interactions are also a good way to open up. Even bargaining in the crowded shops generates confidence in us.

    Do not feel shy of doing mistakes. Even the great scientists and philosophers did blunders. So go ahead and talk loudly and frankly.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #152249
    Things that you should stop doing from today to not to be shy around people.
    *Avoid bullies and teases
    *Do not tell there is no need to advertise your shyness
    *Keep it light
    *Change your tone.
    *Stop self-disruption
    *Avoid the Label
    *Know your strength
    *Choose relationships carefully
    *Avoid thinking alot

    If you want to go from shy to confident, you first need to put yourself out there in order to meet new people. Put yourself in social situations and practice speaking. Watch sandeep maheshwari videos and motivational videos for being confident. Believe in yourself if you wants to be confident. Always try to be happy. Control your life. Do not seat alone without any work for long time. Just be what you are thats it. Don't think i'm looking good or not. Just focus on those things which is important. Don't think about others. Do what you like. Do not do what others like to do.

  • #152255
    There are many people having this type of problem. It is mainly due to not having confidence in yourself. The person who thinks always that his answer may be wrong or people may laugh at him if he is wrong may not be able to talk and suffer from this feeling. You can practice the following points to overcome this problem.
    1. You should be Confident in your actions. It comes through learning, practice, action and mastery. When you start learning a cycle riding initially you feel it difficult. But once you start learning and practising you will become more confident. Same is the case here also.
    2. You should start participating in small talks with various people and talking to strangers at bars, stores, sporting events and other places. Take some chances and put yourself out there to meet new people.
    3. Take on a difficult task at work or learn a new skill. Do something to get out of your comfort zone. By practising new activities, you will get out of your fear of the unknown and be learning to handle that anxiety more effectively.
    4. Start practising giving speeches or presentations and telling jokes or stories at every opportunity. Be more talkative and expressive in all areas of your life.
    5. Make yourself vulnerable. Being vulnerable requires a willingness to let others see the real you. Be proud of what you are. Being genuine and vulnerable is often the quality that others will appreciate the most about you.
    6. Make eye contact when talking to someone. Walk with your head held high. Project your voice clearly and effectively.
    7. Be present to all of your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories in any given moment. There is no part of your experience that you have to run from, escape, or avoid.

    By following the above points you will overcome your shyness and you will be successful.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #152269
    My suggestions -
    1. Start articulating your thoughts at home. Pick up any topic and think about it. What will you say if you were asked to speak on that topic? Write down your answer if needed but make the clear for yourself.
    2. Select a close friend and spend some time every day with him/her discussing some topic of mutual interest. This way you will at least feel safe and be able to share your thoughts openly.
    3. Start talking to the mirror. Just say what you feel aloud. Look into your eyes and talk.
    4. Read the newspaper loudly. Practice this every day. This way you will speak and get used to your style of speaking. The first reservations will be over before you step into the public.
    5. Motivate yourself all the time. Tell yourself to not be shy of the world. Remember each one has his own struggles. No one is perfect and it is absolutely alright to be insecure or uncomfortable sometimes.

    Remember we are all good in our own ways. All the best !

  • #152276
    Your shyness may be due to your initial bringing - up where guardians enforce strict disciplines which ultimately causes a change in one's personality and shyness,too, is the result of over enforcement of the strict discipline. However, to come out from the present impasse, you need to have strong will power and determination to reverse the present complex. You would be required to change the existing phase gradually by doing the following things-
    1) In case, you have any superiority - complex thinking always that people may not approve of your thoughts and ideas. Don't feel guilty with your honest representation of your feelings.
    2) You need to put forth your ideas in writing point by point so that you may not forget the emotions entire points while deliberating in public.
    3) Confidence can be enhanced by seeing your image while conversing by means of a mirror placed on your front. This would give you an idea how you look when you are indulged in a public - meeting.
    4) Be honest to your feelings without having any emotions dampening your spirit.
    5) Regular reading of News- paper would enhance your skill of the presentation of the facts. You will be familiar with the usage of new words, syntax and phrases to be used in course of conversation.

  • #152285
    Shyness is an inherent trait but with continuous efforts and training one can get rid of it.

    It is more of a psychological disorder and a behavioural problem.

    This problem is to be tackled in a slow and gradual pace as it can not be corrected overnight.

    The best course of action is to consult a psychologist who will give the correct remedial action and guidance in the matter.

    Strong will power is also a pre-requisite for getting rid of this mental frame.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #152321
    TThis response is marked as DELETED by the admin.

    your shyness may be you are hestitating towards certain objectives.this would be many reasons like if you are afraid, if you have inner shy.so i will suggest you to get rid of your fears by speaking very confidentally and keep your posture in the right. And speak very smoothly.
    By Determination one can Accomplish anything

  • #152322
    You have to be more proactive and express like you talk with parents. Just be polite and whatever you know speak clearly. Another way is to start discussions on various things of study and general knowledge with friends that way you will be more vocal and decision maker. Most important students get shy because of their attire, how they look , staring of other students so basically you need to think that it's only last chance to speak up irrespective who is watching and listening. All the best.
    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful

  • #152375
    TThis response is marked as DELETED by the admin.

    In this article am going to cover two main questions which are1) how to get rid of shyness and 2)how to be more confident.
    so, firstly i want to tell something that the shyness is a natural feeling which is very common in humans and it is a feeling of not willing to show yourself to someone in mentally and emotionally so this is not a problem when the shy levels are normal in moderate but the problem comes when they are going high if someone have a bit more shyness which is making him feeling discomfort in talking to some opposite gender or with any higher officials then they need to think of how to get rid of this problem and move forward by not loosing any opportunity of staying behind this is thing we need to stay clear about shyness. so here are some three most powerful tips which will help you get out of this over shyness.
    1) Try to face situations in which you are very shy , because most of the studies say that being constantly being involved in a situations your not comfortable with make you better by getting interaction with those situations .
    2) Get of being in head too much but of course you need to be in head at some time being to much will make you nerves which makes you shy so avoid it.
    3) Think of not being shy and never forget the great quote "fake it till you make it" it really works .
    so these are my three main tips to get rid of too much shyness .

    The next question which is how to be confident , confidence will make you be good in thing which you do in all day long like everyday tasks which you perform like talking some opposite gender for going to a date or anything like that there are many thing which make your task great with that little sprinkle of confidence.so here are the main five tips to make you 10 times more confident .
    1) eliminate negative people from your life, In a study there have prove that being surrounded by positive people the confidence levels have been raised in a drastic way.
    2) complement others this a trick which helps in making comfortable social.
    3) Train your brain to be confident by praising your self this is a technique which is mostly used by the great speakers who give long speech sessions, it is one of the greatest confidence boosters.
    4)Be social responsible and do some social service which is a good thing that will also give you a boost of confidence.
    5) Look at your self and think about being confident about your self which are like how would are day be when your super confident and try to motivate your self this will also make you feel better about your self and help in being confident.

    By this i wanted to conclude that try these all tips which will defenetlly amke a certain difference in you by folloing these tips in a long term it will benefit you.

  • #152406
    It is not the matter affecting you only but in many students as well passed-outs have the nervousness. This is because of lack of close contacts. In your class itself you select some food persons, wantonly talk to them and make as friends. As and when you find time speak with them freely about any topic and later jump to the subjects also.
    Sometimes you can speak yourself by assuming you are having somebody before you or even before a long mirror. Above all you should develop yourself the confidence as you are not inferior to any one around you. But your confidence should be with a level and you should keep yourself not to be overconfident.

  • #152567
    Shyness (or Nervousness or Inhibition) should not be your concern, it's just a reaction. The main problem is that you are too concerned with other's opinions and responses.

    Trust me, no matter how hard you try, you can never govern other's responses. Nature of response or reaction is directly associated with understanding or empathy. You will always come across people with different mindsets or characters; & therefore bound to get different responses or reactions from them (depending on their maturity).

    If you remain focused on their responses, you will always feel discomfort while interacting with them. Further, if you try to avoid this shyness, it might subside for the time being, but will never be annihilated.

    We are born healthy but problems arise when our mind gets distorted with wrong understanding. Only right understanding of the situation is needed, problems resolves on its own. Because in reality, problem doesn't exist.

    "If you want to make real progress, you must give up all ideas of personal attainment".

  • #152581
    To get over this problem, go to any empty space within the campus where no one can ever see you. It could a classroom, during non-working hours. Practice to speak extempore in any language that you know. Your mother tongue in particular. More so, in the early morning, since the classmates would turn up much later. Or even in a school nearby.

    Once you start doing this, you will gather the confidence to speak in public. Simultaneously, get to jell not only with people of your own gender, but opposite sex too. Once you do this, you will slowly come out of your shell. It is vital that you also stand in front of a mirror and talk aloud to yourself, when no one is there. Once you do this, you will automatically become a bit more confident.

    Confidence in such matters will sort of happen over a period of three months, if you seriously try. Talk to the teachers in person, and allow them to address your problem. If your teacher encourages say, saying for example, "please go ahead", you will automatically gain the kind of confidence needed to take the on the environment around you.

    It is just a bit of habit formation. It is a little hard work that you need to put in. Follow the small baby steps. You can easily succeed. During your free time, offer to take up a class for standard eight children of a neighboring school, free of charge. There will be several takers for these kinds of services. This can also help you to become more confident.

    All the very best.

  • #152594
    We call it as inferiority complex. To remove this flaw in us first of all move with others unwillingly. That means even though others matter is not important to us, try to mingle with such matters to express your opinions or suggestions. It gradually leads you to open your mind with others. As a result, your shyness will be removed.

    Next thing is practice to talk with you by looking into the mirror with your image. That will cause you to talk more and more with others on stages also in meetings. Like this you can remove your shyness.

  • #152599
    A.You are not alone, there are many of us who are shy, reserved and struggle to hold a conversation face to face and in a group.
    There is nothing wrong, it's the way people are. We just need to find ways to overcome it. I'm glad that you have posted this, seeking to advise is the first positive step when 'you feel negative.'
    You cannot do this overnight, first try to speak well, meaningfully and learn how to start a conversation, develop and hold a conservation alive or a debate life.

    B. Please watch the news channels who debate on a particular topic. At times what they speak makes little sense, but see how they confidently hold themselves, argue, raise counterpoints etc. Watch the breaking news, there would very little substance but the person will have a brave face and speak non-stop making up words and sentences.
    Watch good interviews of ministers, experts etc. Many local channels have 'in the hot seat' live interviews wherein difficult questions are asked point-blank to an authority/comissioner etc. Here focus on the body langauge, speech delivery etc of the person asking the question and the person answering it.

    C. Share your problems with your cousin, close friend, sister or brother at home who can be the other person in your discussions on current issues, the politics, education etc. Here this family member or close friend is vital to help to have to confidence to develop a positive attitude, body language and to look at the person while speaking without being shy.

    D. Then make new friends, interact with smaller groups in the college (at the library, campus, cafeteria, drama or debate groups etc). The wider you participate in events related to academic and student life, the better you get to shed your inhibitions and shyness. Learn to speak to the college administrative staff, the accountants, the lab assistants, the records supervisor, the coaches etc. This is help to build your courage to speak to the teaching faculty, dean etc.

    E. Next, try to hold a meaningful conversation with friends or fellow collegemates of the opposite sex. There are many youngsters who find it difficult to talk to a boy or girl initially and often found at loss for words. This is just lack of expsoure during early years, you can overcome this easily.

    F.Read simple books on self confidence.
    The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz
    The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking by Dale Carnegie
    Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
    The Leader In You by Dale Carnegie (this is good for any fresher graduate who has to face the new complex world and its difficulties)
    Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins
    How to Develop Self-Confidence And Influence People by Dale Carnegie
    Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

    G. In short, you can do it over a period of time, if you are proactive, set apart few hours every day for this real-life practice. You will get better with a combination of listening, analyzing, speaking consciously always with the aim to improve and be better.


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