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Men's ego in married life ?

Date: 06 Nov 2009   Group: Family & Life    Category: Marriage   


Why do all men / husbands have so ego ?


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Author: Sunil Saharan    06 Nov 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 4  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

Hello Friend,
I don't think it is a case in every family. It may be a case in some families only, but this problem is not with men only it is a problem with women in some families. It depends upon personal understanding between husband and wife. If you think that it is problem in your family or married life then you should handle the situation with nature understanding. These kind of situation in home are geneal and are very sensitive also. So try to handle things very sensitively.
Hope this will help you to understand the situation.
With best regards,
Sunil Saharan
Working for an ideal and peaceful society.

Author: N K Ravishankara    06 Nov 2009      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Ego is a negative phenomenon, which can be developed in either gender, there is no gender bias to develop this character. When one feels supremacy over the other, then this crops up. One can find ego problems in women too.



Author: Revathi.G    07 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

HI friend,
Ego is nothing but the self esteem that everybody has. In any relation it exists to certain extent. Men obviously have dominative character, which creates ego in them. They doesnt wanna bend low before a women. That is why Men/Husbands possess ego.

Author: rohini    08 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

yes
men do have a ego problem we have grown up in male dominated society where men tend to get all this by birth but new lifestyle and proffesionals are very much on the other side of the coin they really understand women as thier collegue/mate or partner at the same time female also have ego problem but always keep burried inside and sometimes if bursts out than it creates problem in the relationship.
so my friend a good husband and an understanding wife always makes a beautiful couple shining like stars everywhere without envy and lot of trust.

Author: sharmila    11 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 4  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

Hi friend,
It is not only men who have egos ,even women have equal egos which both of them should avoid, for a peaceful life.As per Indian culture , it is said that man is the head of the family and all female should obey them.This was the main reason for the man in the family to have ego. But now the scenario has changed a lot. Most men leave their egos and balance their life.Ancient Indian man where too dominating and authoritative , which was the main reason for their ego. They feel that if they don't have ego and listen to women in the family , especially the wife, they will looses their value. But now the case is different .Even the women in the family earn equally and take part in decession making. So today's generation men very well know if they carry the ego with them , they will loose their peaceful life.

Author: O P Sharma    12 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Hi
No doubt the men have ego problem in his married life. Although he know in any matter that he is wrong and it will not be beneficial for both but he remains rigid at his voice. He think that this ego will always kept him at the top. But he don't think that this will make a bad effect on his counterpart.

Regard

R Sharma

Author: DR.N.V.SRINIVASA RAO.,M.Sc.,Ph.D    13 Nov 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 4  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

Wife and husband are like two wheels of a cart. They are like two oxes to a cart. There should be a perfect understanding otherwise the journey will not be smooth.When two minds are involved definitely there will be minimum two thoughts. So each should understand the others point and judge the thought positively and implement the best one irrespective of who proposed. In such case there will not be any complications otherwise everyday it will be a difficult day.

Ultimately everybody should know that life is to be enjoyed.So in my opinion nobody should have any egos. Not only husbands but also wives should not have any ego. Then only your house will be a heaven otherwise it will be a hell.

drrao

Author: Anton Menezes    13 Nov 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

Dear friend,
I do not know under which context you have made this statement. You should have substantiated your statement. However, I disagree with you and will not say men are egoistic. Yes, they are overpowering and overprotective but one is not egoistic in relationships. There is nothing left to prove or impress in marriage. It's mutual love and respect which carries forward the relationship. However, in some cases men are found to be egoistic and fail in claiming responsibilities in their faults.

Author: prudhvi    13 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 3  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

I think not only the husband even wife will be having ego..all the time targetting the men is not crct.It may be true in some cases,but not in all cases...If husband has ego,then what do u say about a earning women? even she will be having ego..for evrthng she will be saying that i am also earning etc etc... so inorder to lead a happy life i think both husband and wife should not have any ego.If husband got angry in any matters,wife should understand him crctly,talk to him nicely and bring him to normal state..simalarly if wife got angry the husband must do the same job. so i can say that couple without any ego can lead happy life without any divertions.
Author: A ABDUL HAI    14 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Every body has ego in all part of his life. In a office every staff member has his own ego. In a college every prof. has ego. It is in everwhere. But, husband's ego on his wife and wife's ego on her husband is only highlighted in our families, because every one depends upon another strongly in family life. Take it easy. Live respectful life. That's all.
Author: MEERA NAIR    15 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Every body has ego in all part of his life. In a office every staff member has his own ego. In a college every prof. has ego. It is in everwhere.Ego is nothing but the self esteem that everybody has. In Indian culture , man is considered as the head of the family as he was the earning menber of the family and all female are suppsed to obey them.This was the main reason for the man in the family to have ego. But now the scenario has changed a lot.There are families where women keeps dominent power.
Author: Kranthi Kiran    15 Nov 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 5  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

Men and women both have egos.Egos arises due to many reasons but the main reason is as per the status of the person.If a person in high status or high position surely ego is going to crop in gradually.

As in earlier days, only Men used to work outside and earn money and women used to stay at homes and do household work and rarely used to see the outside world.Thus used to agree to everything that man says thus increasing his ego.

It had become a tradition and culture that a woman has to be under the man. But today's scenario is entirely different from what it is earlier and women have become part of everything that goes about in the world thus increasing her ego too.

So now both have equal share of being egoistic.
So now its not that only a man is egoistic.It depends on the person's nature.

Author: Gyandeep Kaushal    15 Nov 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 6  (Rs 5)    Voting Score: 0

See, there is a word in English language, called prejudice. What does prejudice mean? Prejudice means some common feelings or perceptions among the masses which is truly true. Such a prejudice is here also, the question which has arose here that men after marriage, conceive some ego in their personality. It may be true for many orthodox people but using the word 'all' would not be correct because everyone in this word is not same even the water and the winds are not always same.

There are some people who have ego in their lives after they get married. They feel that they are superior to their wives and that their wives are simply naukranis or servants to them. They think that they are allowed to beat and whip their wives, and that their wives are something jisko lagam lagana zaruri hai. This is a feeling in the hearts of many husbands and this is the feeling which creates ego in the married men, basically. However, there are some people also who consider their wives as devis and they simply love them, and consider them as the most valuable parts of their lives. They consider taking well care of them and some even consider being joru ka gulaams. However this is something kiddish.

The reason to the ego which 'some' of the married men is the feeling that woman is inferior to man and that wives are inferior to husbands. Such feelings, however, many times eradicate from the minds with passage of times and generations. The main reason behind this is the orthodox thinking and traditions in the society. At least I think so.

Gyandeep Kaushal.

Author: Pradeep Dimri    16 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 6  (Rs 4)    Voting Score: 0

Hi,
It is true that in most of families husband has ego but wives also have ego. Mens ego can be understood from our society setup. It is drilled in to the mind of a boy from very early age that he is powerful. He sees that his father has a different role in the family. So after marriage he assumes that he is the boss. But behind that male ego is a kinder boy who should be handled with care and he would pour his heart out to his loving wife. So bothe partner should try to understand each other. Love between two would make any ego irrelevent. Isn't it true that men and women have different mental and physical setup. They compliment each other.

So ego should not be confused with jelousy. If you make economic progress and your husband is disturbed than it can be termed as his inferiority complex of losing the authority in family.

But a bit of ego I suppose would be desired by a wife. Who wouldnt want her husband to stand and be counted in family.

Author: Tania Paul    17 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4    Voting Score: 0

Friends; I think that men ego in married life really maters a lot in the domestic life. if wife and husband are in same profession men always try to let her down in domestic life. Like what work you have in office? why are you late, you chat or work in office? But if they have a little pressure then they want to see the impact on wife's face. Men always try to grab the priority in married life; in terms of dicission making and planning. They are the Mr. and wife is Mrs of that Mr.
In many families for this reason (ego) the family life is ruining. But there are exceptions also....
Regards
tania

Author: Purnim K R    18 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

Well..i don't think all men/husband have ego..still in some case it may be..i think this is not a fair question..please don't mind..
Author: Harsha Vardhan    18 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

first of all, my dear friend! Be clear in the question that whether it is men or men's.
I think it should not happen like dominating the life partner. Because wife and husband are obviously made for each other in my view. so I suggest each and everyone not to give place to any egos in the marriage life.
every individual partner in a couple have equal rights and equal power, then what is the need for egos to take place even in the non-loving partners these days especially in men.
Any way thank you and sorry for being rude in emotion due to the topic is not so reasoning.

Author: Vivek Mishra    18 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Ego.... This Word is often Mistaken and Randomly used to describe any Rigidity or resistance towards acceptance.
what we need to talk about is not that bad attitude issues among Husband & wife rather should analyse that is it Ego or Just reaction of some bad circumstances existing in relation ship.
Answering the question let me add one more thing its good to have ego if the same in put in right direction, ego is not distributed based on your Martial status or male or female its a attitude developed by your own surroundings & how you are being Bought Up..
So do not take this Ego word wrongly and have a Generalized Statement regarding the Same

Vivek Mishra

Author: Vikas    23 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

Men do have ego; also womens ego can't be ignored. Its not only the mens ego but also the womens attitude towards him. Some women prefer dominance by husband

Author: samli    23 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 4    Voting Score: 0

Men in real life will not have much ego which bothers others.
But when they become closer to a girl/wife. Men's ego become
more when they want to dominate women, this cause may go wrong in some cases. According to nature its not that men alone will have ego, those who love themselves a lot will have ego with their loved ones.No two people with ego will not make a good couple. A little bit of understanding is required either in wife side of husband side.
If either the women/wife can't tolerate , it means that she also
has unspoken ego inside her.

Author: Silambarasan Velu    24 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 3    Voting Score: 0


Woman is ego-----

I think woman only ego than man.
How I tell mean just take a example

Rich girl poor boy got married then the result will be divorce if the boy not obey the girl.

But the different situation mean no divorce....

Same like if a boy go and settle in his wife's home after marriage,the boy should obey girl otherwise will divorce definitely.




Author: Santosh Kumar Singh    25 Nov 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Man ego total depend upon his nature if he survive with wife on any condition then no problem but if he avoid his wife then problem may come.

Every women want his part of happiness if she did not able to get his things then fight problem can come so both need to put her ego in side to live loving life with ego always problem come not even in married life but other place also.

Author: durga    25 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 0    Voting Score: 0

generally both men and women has ego.
men is seen in a superior way thatswhy some men can have.

Author: Dona Ann    26 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Ego is over self-esteem. It is a problem that any person whether man or a woman can have.The thing is, when it comes to married life
everything has to be equally shared.Men will find it more difficult to adjust because of their instilled dominance in the society.If woman are ready to adjust,it wont be of much problem.

Author: m rai    27 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

Hi,
Yes it is in many of cases. Mainly it is because of domination. Sometimes because of more failure than success. But if one is open to his spouse, ego will not be there or will be very less.
Unhealthy culture in work place and frastration in work is also a raeson of men's ego.

Author: dutt    01 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

It is not only men who have egos ,even women have equal egos which both of them should avoid, for a peaceful life.As per Indian culture , it is said that man is the head of the family and all female should obey them.This was the main reason for the man in the family to have ego. But now the scenario has changed a lot. Most men leave their egos and balance their life.Ancient Indian man where too dominating and authoritative , which was the main reason for their ego. They feel that if they don't have ego and listen to women in the family , especially the wife, they will looses their value. But now the case is different .Even the women in the family earn equally and take part in decession making. So today's generation men very well know if they carry the ego with them , they will loose their peaceful life.
Author: J P Rao    03 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Hi,
Ego problem in men is simply a defense mechanism.They do realize that they lack the beauty, subtlety,sophistication and softness of women.
This defensive attitude coupled with the knowledge that women really do need men -emotionally, physically, socially and financially, make them bulge with ego...

Author: Mukesh V Vekaria    04 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 4    Voting Score: 0

Dear freinds,
The word "all" men/husband is not seems to proper, because there are many person don't thonk so. "few" may be replaced for word "all". Ego is not related to men or women. it related to person's attitude and his fillings to other person.

One can note that if one hate other, he/she always rude against another person.

Ego of one person also depends on age, it founds more in young people than aged one.

There are also case where husband has more ego but in theses new era womens are also become egostic regarding her rights, educarion, etc.

So one can not say all men/husband, it depends on person's nature.

Author: kasthuri    04 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4    Voting Score: 0

Both the genders will definetely have ego.If one want to compromise for happy life with understanding each other, then there is no chance of ego. Superiority complex leads to ego. One should neighther have superiority or inferiority complex.
For a happy married life both have to supress egos. only one thing if everyone understands that both are equally important then there is no question of ego. Men should understand that there are some things like giving birth can only be done by women and should also think that his mother, sister and daughter all are women.
Similalrly women should think that men can manage some things like caring and outside work and more physical stamina and can work for long hours if necessary, then there will be no ego for women also
thanq

Author: shivani arora    05 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Hi!
In my opinion, man and woman both can have ego in married life which is devastating for their relationship.Men usually have more ega specially in Indian society as this society is more male dominating and males have this superiority feeling which makes them more egoistic.

Author: madhu    06 Dec 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0


I think 'ego' is merely a pretext to shun responsibilties.
Whenever we do not like a particular task we try to show that we are too superior to take up the task.
We can say that pride even lazyness, lack of proper education all these are synonyms of 'ego'.




Author: Krishnadas    07 Dec 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Can we generalise saying that all men have ego or all women have ego?. It is true that some men have more ego similarly some women also have more ego. The problem of ego comes when you are more self centered. You are not broad minded. If you put youself in others shoes the problem of ego does not come on the way. If start thinking that I am OK and others are not ok you will end up with the problem.
Author: s.sharmila    07 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

hai,
If there is no trespassing in each others individuality, there ego vanishes.so don't intrude in each and every matters, maintain a personal space between each other.Try to give importance to each others feelings.

Author: prathyusha    07 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

hiiiiii,
i think every married men doen't have ego only few of them have it.mainly ego problem occurs when there is a misunderstanding between husband and wife.so, always make sure that both husband and wifeunderstand each others feelings.

Author: Kavitha .V    11 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

No, i can say when both opposite people meet in marriage,they would like to share their feelings and love.But,when comes to certain aspects like respect,financial dealings who shares it,how much,who is the first.., makes both man,women to become egoistic.
Since,this world is man-domninat , ego takes its crown on the head of the men.

Author: Aditya    16 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4    Voting Score: 0

I don't agree with your supposition fully. In modern society, I feel that both husband and wives have space of their own. If we talk of ego - both of them has at equal levels. For those couples who act in a matured manner control this and think of the partner befor thinking of oneself. Thus. curbing the ego, there. This has started happening, where both the couples are working are at equal level of education and thinking. Where there is this understanding problem - it leads to quarrels and separation.

By the way - self is the reason for this ego be it in husband or the wife. Who ever considers himself or herself supreme - becomes egoist which in no way helps the family.

Author: venkateswara reddy    17 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

hi friend ego is the feeling of all the men but not a separate thing for only husbands or wife.Based on their tensions it will come.
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