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Relationship with Mother in law?

Date: 08 Nov 2009   Group: Family & Life    Category: Marriage    Posted By: [Anonymous]   


1.)How to develop Mother child relationship with Mother in law?

2.)She always thinks that I am mis guiding her son

3.)I love her a lot and I want to be close to heart with her

Kindly tell me few tips to flatter my mother in law.



Find Answers

Author: Soham    08 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 6  (Rs 4)    Voting Score: 0

You have to consider certain facts.
1) In her view, you are not from the family but an outsider who has suddenly became a member of the family. Since there is no blood relationship, there is no bondage. So she will take time to accept you.
2) You have taken her son away from her. So far, her son was her exclusive property - but now that ownership has transferred, at least partly. She cannot accept it from the core of the heart.
3) You have been brought up in a different set up - so your culture, habits, your sense of values, etc may not match with hers.
4) There is an inherent double-standard in the thought process of most of the families. (You will often find that while an unmarried daughter wears Denim and tops, a "bahu" in the same family is forced to wear sharis only, although this Bahu is younger in age.)
When you accept the above facts, you will realize that it is really very difficult to become close to your mother in law. There is no quick remedy. But from your sincerity, I am sure you will be able to achieve it sooner or later. All you have to do is to become sincere and honest in your dealings with her. Just try to see her from her side and forgive any rudeness you may face, or a harsh word or two you hear. Gradually she will realize that you are a better person than she thinks and she will start respecting you. Love and affection will soon follow.

I don't think there is any tip that is universally applicable. It depends on the nature of your mother in law and those are always risky. It is much better to remain honest and sincere.

Author: N K Ravishankara    08 Nov 2009      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 10  (Rs 6)    Voting Score: 0

The relationships are always there to preserve, in my view, certain relationships are available once in a life time, you and your mother-in-law's relationship should have been good right from the first day of your marriage, once it is not developed on those days, it is tend to deteriorate further.

Though the intentions of both is good in their own view, but not so about between you and her, now it is the responsibility of your husband or son of your mother-in-law to pacify the matter, and he should make it clear to both of you, what you think about your mother-in-law and so in her case what is her view about you, once it is deteriorated, it is quite difficult to understand but a temporary compromise is possible once your husband involves.

Your mother-in-law has a different view about you, so in your child's case too, but before the involvement of your husband to pacify this problem, you should be honest in your opinions, and you should stick to that later or forever, provided you need happiness not only in your life but also in your husband and your child's life.

Now, you cannot flatter your mother-in-law directly as she have an different version about you. Most of the times, she too might have faced such situations when she was young, could not be happy due to such situations, hence sometimes it is bound to expose and moreover, your husband looks to be the only son to her, she is in a version that you are trying to snatch her son from her, she might have felt insecure due to this.

Speak to your husband clearly about this, before it goes to beyond repairable stage, sometimes talks will solve most complicated problems.

In my view it is the only solution, as either of you or your mother-in-law must be in a position to forgo their egos.




Author: sharmila    11 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Hi friend,
It nice to here from you that you love your mother in law ,but one thing you should consider here is that how ever good and loving you be to your mother in law , she is your mother in law only and not your mother. Most of the mother in law don't accept their daughter in law as their own daughter. One main reason is the insecure feeling which makes her feel that the daughter in law will move her son away from her. This feeling in her will not allow her to come close to the new member of the family. Now since your mother in law has already have a mind set that you are taking her son away or misguiding him, its difficult to change her mind set.what ever you do may make her thing , that these are done just to flatter her and you are playing a game. So i tell you just be as you are. Do all the necessary things to your mother in law. May be as time goes by , it will make her to change her mind and i am sure she will understand your love towards her. Dont worry my friend , you will sure get back your mother in laws love and affection.

all the best.

Author: O P Sharma    12 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

Hi
You need not to do anything except to obey her every order and give a prference to her against her son. This may give you some relief but remember that the mentality of a person is not so easy to change in a quick suggestion, you have to do some extra affort to go close to your mother in law.

Regards

R Sharma

Author: shivani arora    15 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Hi!

This is certain that this relationship needs time to develop as according to your mother in law, you are from outside and as most mothers are possessive for their sons,so is your mother in law, this problem can be sorted out by patience and by complete understanding between your husban and you

Author: Gyandeep Kaushal    15 Nov 2009      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 10  (Rs 7)    Voting Score: 0

India is a country with cultures which are nowhere else in the world, some cultures are accepted by all, but some are not accepted by many of us. Many of the customs, be it child marriage, or be it anything, including dowry, look to be outdated, and they looked to be purely unacceptable by the Indian people later, but believe me, all the rituals, cultures, and customs are made with a sight of goodness, inherent goodness in them, but what happens is that with the passage of time, the mentality of people changes and it changes the system too, pointing out the bad points in the old customs and traditions.

Today, there is a custom in India which is inherent to her, ever since it born (maybe). The custom is that a woman of India, after being married to a man, goes to the house of the man, which is now her husband, and now, she has to spend her rest of the live there, in his husband's house only with the family of her husband, which is now also her family. These are all sugary things, with all sweet sweet words but on the leeward side of the wind of marriage lies some feeling of strangeness. To the girl, the bride, the new thing is the family of her husband. It is really hard for her to leave her house, and go to the house of her husband, and live with people whom she does not know that well, leaving behind her mother, father, siblings and everyone. At the same time, the family of the husband is also having a strange feeling, sometimes bad too, for having a new member.

This strange feeling might not be so big in the hearts of the other family members, but to one person in the family, there is really a big feeling, maybe good or bad. Today, in India, we have a phrase called saas bahu ka jhagda but it is not so always. Sometimes, the mother in laws are also very accompanying. But sometimes, there really fit into this category or khadoos saas who keep poking their bahus.

There is no such theorem to keep your mother in law happy, but all you can do is to talk with her, show your lovely attitude towards her. Many of the bahus have done this, but what they fail in is, they are not capable of making their saas believe that they really care for them. You need to let her feel that you are not the bride in the house, but are the daughter in the house, and therefore there is nothing to worry. All you can do is to try try and try, but if their is some serious matter, you should not just let her feel, but should also directly talk to her. It is a common feeling among almost all mothers that when their sons get married, then they get detached from their mothers virtually, but it is not so. It is just that in the lives of their sons, a new privacy comes in. Anyhow, I would say that love can shake mountains yeh saas kya cheez hai.

Regards,
Gyandeep Kaushal.

Author: Pradeep Dimri    17 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 6  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

The fact that you are trying to improve your relationship with your mother in law says a lot about your attitude. The fact that you consider it important enough means you are on right track. First thing that you should consider is that your mother in law wants good for you and your husband. Only difference is that perception of that "good" varies. If you think that you are on right track ( you should be reasonable in thinking so)than you must keep on doing it. Your husband is a son also, so please do not put him on test over dual loyality. You should try to winover especially your father in law. If your mother in law hears good vibes about you from him it will help. Small things in family matter a lot so take care of them instead of concentrating on big issues. Hot tea or coffee in the morning can do wonders. Samll gifts can also be a good idea. You should take your husband in confidance. Your husband should not confront your mother in law where you both can solve. Your children will also play good role.
You must understand that there is age gap between you and your mother in law so try to understand from generation old's viewpoint.

Author: Nidhi    17 Nov 2009      Member Level: Diamond     Points : 5  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 0

I can understand your problem very easily. But please try to understand my view also. A lady, whose son was for her only till now, is now required to share her son with somebody else. This ‘somebody else’ is not actually somebody. This is her son’s wife. As this is natural, boy will automatically like to spend more time with his wife than his mother as this relation provides him not only emotional support rather physical support also. This distance of a mother’s son from her is actually intolerable. So she feel that this distance is because of the entry of a new member, i.e. her daughter- in-law. This feeling gives rise to friction.
You are just required to convince your husband that he spend some more time with his mother. Even you should also company them. try to do a lot of ‘seva’ of her & obey her in the best possible manner. Don’t forget to gift her on her birthday & anniversary. If you have any sister-in-law, then gift her also as a mother is most attached to her daughter. This will automatically create a bond between all your relations. I did all this &, touch-wood, i have very good relation with my mother-in-law.
If you want any more suggestion, ask me. It would be my pleasure to help you.

Author: Satavisha Chakraborty    18 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 3  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

A new member is never accepted easily any where in the world, may be it is a school, college or any society. The same rule is applicable for most of the daughter in laws. As the new comers in a school gradually mix up with the others, the daughter in law has to become an important member of the family. This process may take time in some cases. Actually time and few adjustments solve a lot of problems.

The whole responsibly is not only for a daughter in law. The family members, specially the in laws have to accept the daughter in law heartily. But this is a very complex human psychology. Female are normally very possessive. A mother always thinks that her son will remain the same as he was before marriage. When she finds that her son is spending more time with his wife, which is a natural becomes very insecure. She feels that the new lady is spoiling her son.

Madam, you have to prove that you are not trying to snatch away your husband from the life of your mother in law, because this also happens. Your activities only can prove it. Once you have succeeded, you will find every thing in order. Even the same mother in law will complain you against her son for some petty matters.

Author: amarish    18 Nov 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3    Voting Score: 0

I don't comment on what you r doing for your mother in law but to gain her confidence first of all you have to gain her trust, her faith. You should try your best that she should be able to achieve a sense of ownership with you. It happens in a family but these are the situations that are also settled by family alone, no one can help you with that. Just try to know her liking,her dis likings,her areas of interest and try to devote some of your time to make her feel happy that you are concerned about her.Try to fulfill all the likings of your mother in law,treat her as your mother if you want yourself to be treated as her daughter.Give time for her, get ready to sacrifice few of your interests to please her, once she starts liking you, that will be the day you can get he feeling of your mother in her. Feel her and try to be a good daughter.
hoping that you will get her faith soon
amarish

Author: crizbone    19 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Well this is not a new issue all of the new married girls have these problem,and mostly in the event of time it diminishes,so dont get tensed and waste your life
There's no guide or books written to solve it,just follow simple and practical tips thats all,
Be part of the house and engage in all activities keeping your respect for others First of all understand most of the mother in laws feel that after marriage there son will be snatched away by girl,and her love towards the son makes them feel that their son is misguided.Make her trust all the way that her son is cared by you more than what she was doing and try to get the appreciation from her,.
after all weekness of ladies is praising,
not to be made public :Praise her when evr you gets chance that can get her trust and faith
best of luck

Author: HARI    19 Nov 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

You have to consider certain facts.
1) In her view, you are not from the family but an outsider who has suddenly became a member of the family. Since there is no blood relationship, there is no bondage. So she will take time to accept you.
2) You have taken her son away from her. So far, her son was her exclusive property - but now that ownership has transferred, at least partly. She cannot accept it from the core of the heart.
3) You have been brought up in a different set up - so your culture, habits, your sense of values, etc may not match with hers.
4) There is an inherent double-standard in the thought process of most of the families. (You will often find that while an unmarried daughter wears Denim and tops, a "bahu" in the same family is forced to wear sharis only, although this Bahu is younger in age.)
When you accept the above facts, you will realize that it is really very difficult to become close to your mother in law. There is no quick remedy. But from your sincerity, I am sure you will be able to achieve it sooner or later. All you have to do is to become sincere and honest in your dealings with her. Just try to see her from her side and forgive any rudeness you may face, or a harsh word or two you hear. Gradually she will realize that you are a better person than she thinks and she will start respecting you. Love and affection will soon follow.

I don't think there is any tip that is universally applicable. It depends on the nature of your mother in law and those are always risky. It is much better to remain honest and sincere.
The relationships are always there to preserve, in my view, certain relationships are available once in a life time, you and your mother-in-law's relationship should have been good right from the first day of your marriage, once it is not developed on those days, it is tend to deteriorate further.

Though the intentions of both is good in their own view, but not so about between you and her, now it is the responsibility of your husband or son of your mother-in-law to pacify the matter, and he should make it clear to both of you, what you think about your mother-in-law and so in her case what is her view about you, once it is deteriorated, it is quite difficult to understand but a temporary compromise is possible once your husband involves.

Your mother-in-law has a different view about you, so in your child's case too, but before the involvement of your husband to pacify this problem, you should be honest in your opinions, and you should stick to that later or forever, provided you need happiness not only in your life but also in your husband and your child's life.

Now, you cannot flatter your mother-in-law directly as she have an different version about you. Most of the times, she too might have faced such situations when she was young, could not be happy due to such situations, hence sometimes it is bound to expose and moreover, your husband looks to be the only son to her, she is in a version that you are trying to snatch her son from her, she might have felt insecure due to this.

Speak to your husband clearly about this, before it goes to beyond repairable stage, sometimes talks will solve most complicated problems.

In my view it is the only solution, as either of you or your mother-in-law must be in a position to forgo their egos.
The fact that you are trying to improve your relationship with your mother in law says a lot about your attitude. The fact that you consider it important enough means you are on right track. First thing that you should consider is that your mother in law wants good for you and your husband. Only difference is that perception of that "good" varies. If you think that you are on right track ( you should be reasonable in thinking so)than you must keep on doing it. Your husband is a son also, so please do not put him on test over dual loyality. You should try to winover especially your father in law. If your mother in law hears good vibes about you from him it will help. Small things in family matter a lot so take care of them instead of concentrating on big issues. Hot tea or coffee in the morning can do wonders. Samll gifts can also be a good idea. You should take your husband in confidance. Your husband should not confront your mother in law where you both can solve. Your children will also play good role.
You must understand that there is age gap between you and your mother in law so try to understand from generation old's viewpoint.

Author: mohan    24 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 0    Voting Score: 0

Remember one thing always.No two women can live together under one roof.Be it mother and daughter,two sisters,daughter-in-law and mother-in-law,two friends etc,etc.So forget about your mother-in-law and think about your husband.Poor chap he has to strike a balance between both of you.
Author: durga    25 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

hi,
you can flatter your mother in law by just simply helping her in household works.
always be with her ,don't talk about your parents family
sit and watch tv along with her.

Author: Gopinath    25 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 4  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

Hi,
When you say that you love your MIL why should yu think of knowing as to how to flatter her. Please remember that it is long lasting relainship and you have to build on it. Only you are thinking that your mother in law is thinking that way in fact it may not be so! There is bound to be differences and it is not only in your home but in many others too. It is up to you and yur husband to iron out the differences if any before it is too late.Please be assured that most of MIL also love their DILs. Do not worry if others do not understand you. But worry if you do not understand them.Life is for living and make it enjoyable and make your home sweet.Communication could be a problem and be a patient listener and be proactive to your MILs desires/directions.Treat her as your best friend and you will be benefit much.Do not opt to be sycophant.God bless you and your home

Author: bhavana.g    25 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 0    Voting Score: 0

first of all i would like to congratulate you to have such kind of attitude. i would suggest you to understand her by way of knowing her important dates which she might have forgotten , give her surprises on these days , she will feel the most . also help her in work or her daily routine. share with her every thing , ask her advice if you hav any doubts , donot take her words to granted , tell your husband to speak whole heartedly to his mother as he was before . both of you spend time with her . ask her to speak more about herself ,because she may feel that you are always bosting of your family , ask her things about how she managed the home when she was of her age , and also about tradition and culture followed in their home , one more thing very important is call her mummy or amma or mumma rather than aunty she feels more secured by this addressing. she will forgive any mistakes or will not blame you for every silly thing .good luck
create a happy home

Author: sarita    26 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 5  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

hi friend. mother in law is like your own mother. apart from your own mother who has helped you towards your growth, now you will have 2 accept your mother in law as a real mother and not as a secondary mother. Always remember that if u are a girl and you have a brother and if your bro's wife treats your real mother badly how will you feel? So if you want your real mother to be happy with her daughter in law you will have to accept your mother in law the way she is. if you want your married life to be happy then be happy with your mother in law. When ever she scolds you it is for your good, do not take her scoldings in a negative way take it in a positive way. There was a cooking show that had come in ZEE Kannada it was "Atthe Sose Saviruchi" it was basically to see how they co-ordinated while working together in thier house.
Author: stalinjothibasu    27 Nov 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

As per ur question i suggest you that you are more needed to show love upon your mother in law . Do not think her as mother in law first you think her as your mother than you did not find any blame from her . I ask you one thing if she is your mother means did you mis understood her ? Answer of this question is answer for urs.
Author: dutt    01 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Though the intentions of both is good in their own view, but not so about between you and her, now it is the responsibility of your husband or son of your mother-in-law to pacify the matter, and he should make it clear to both of you, what you think about your mother-in-law and so in her case what is her view about you, once it is deteriorated, it is quite difficult to understand but a temporary compromise is possible once your husband involves.

Your mother-in-law has a different view about you, so in your child's case too, but before the involvement of your husband to pacify this problem, you should be honest in your opinions, and you should stick to that later or forever, provided you need happiness not only in your life but also in your husband and your child's life.

Now, you cannot flatter your mother-in-law directly as she have an different version about you. Most of the times, she too might have faced such situations when she was young, could not be happy due to such situations, hence sometimes it is bound to expose and moreover, your husband looks to be the only son to her, she is in a version that you are trying to snatch her son from her, she might have felt insecure due to this.

Author: Sridhar.D    02 Dec 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

When you say that you love your MIL why should yu think of knowing as to how to flatter her. Please remember that it is long lasting relainship and you have to build on it. Only you are thinking that your mother in law is thinking that way in fact it may not be so! There is bound to be differences and it is not only in your home but in many others too. It is up to you and yur husband to iron out the differences if any before it is too late.Please be assured that most of MIL also love their DILs. Do not worry if others do not understand you. But worry if you do not understand them.Life is for living and make it enjoyable and make your home sweet.Communication could be a problem and be a patient listener and be proactive to your MILs desires/directions.Treat her as your best friend and you will be benefit much.Do not opt to be sycophant.God bless you and your home
Author: Balaji SanthanaKrishnan    02 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Hi,
Maintaining relationship is most important family factors and people should ready to concentrate and improve the relationship strenght. Having healthy relationship is by taking balanced in both side of life ( Husband side/ parents side) is a great challengable task and try to build strong and health relationship between two families is purely by adjusting and coping with people behaviour. Have rights to make clear their mistakes in long time and help them to realize an important about relationship. thanks

Author: Dhirendra    05 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 3    Voting Score: 0

Hi ,

You are leaving in India,where establishing relationship is not so easy. after marriage when you come with your husband permanently on his family. The mother start feeling that my son is now onward will not give attention to me, obey my words,gives respect etc.
People think culprit for that is the new member(newly married girl), so for first few month the behavior is too tough , but if your attitude is positive, they will start accepting you as one of the valuable member of their own family.

Author: Amit    07 Dec 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 7  (Rs 3)    Voting Score: 2

Hi,
You have posted this post anonymously, it shows how intensely you feel to develop a close relationship with your mother-in-law. It really feels nice when a women belonging to the modern society takes time and thinks that her relation with the other family members is also of that importance to her as much as her husband. I respect your feelings and hope you get what you deserve.
Every women goes through the same question set twice in her life, once when she becomes the daughter-in-law and the second time when she becomes the mother-in-law. The same questions may be in the mind of your mother-in-law too but she is not able to address them to you. It is very true for any woman to share it with another be it the case of a sister mother or a wife. Here the mother has always the highest share as she has been the world for her child since his childhood and suddenly a lady comes in between the two who shares the care and her responsibilities which she had been doing for her son past so many years.
The things are not that easy but a determination to make it happen will get you two that closer which you would never have dream about. Let your actions speak for you, make her understand that you are sharing her responsibilities and not the love for her son. Many a times mother-in-laws tend to compare other households with their own, making their own perception of the daughter-in-law as the son stealer. So even though they are soft hearten they behave stern, disciplined so as to control the house.
I know you will abide by many of the things and now the mantra for success in relationship "One who Looses Wins". Loose your ego, your conservative behavior towards your mother in law, loose the controlling of the house, don't wait for your mother-in-law to be your mom you start being her daughter. See how things change for you and please let me know when you achieve what you want.

regards,
AD

Author: Manoj Kumar Patel    10 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 1    Voting Score: 0

all moms are equal, they never hate their child, its every child responsibility to support them and help in every walks of life.
Author: Dona Ann    10 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 3    Voting Score: 0

hi....
I would like you to know 1 very important thing that every mother-in-law will love the most!
Love your hubby's siblings and care them more and do anythng for them being in their mom's place!!
But do let your mother-in-law do thngs for your hus...Dont let her feel that her position in the house is lost!!!
Make her feel she is important!!!
May you have a successful and happy married life!!!!

Author: Kavitha .V    12 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 6  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0

It is not that easy to develop a mother child relationship with mother-in-law.
The reason behind is,she might have not experienced it
from her mother-in-law.If she has daughter, sure she will
never give you motherly treatment.

The reason behind is she will start comparing it with other daughter-in-laws in family,who were good and also
the bad ones,and she might try to find fault in all things,
even if you dress good or bad.

Comparison starts with dowry in marriage,even if you give more,she will require the best result in the household chores,what you do.You must know everything in kitchen ,family and show more love on the family and their relatives .
You should never indluge in money matters.
Let her son-your husband,give money to her also.Tell your
husband to behave the same way ,he was before their marriage and not to show your love in front of her.Which she might think, that you have grabbed her son from their love.

To get close to her heart...,might be, you can get a smile from her face ,by doing what she likes.Ask your husband , about his mother he will explain it.

Author: malgova    20 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

HELLO FRIEND,
ITS VERY EASY TO DEVELOP AN INTENSE GOOD RELATIONSHIP MOTHER-IN-LAW, THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME OF THE TIPS THAT I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU:
1.consider MOTHER-IN-LAW as your next MOTHER
2.make your HUSBAND to tell his mother that you were his perfect life-partner
3.if its arranged marriage,thank your MOTHER-IN-LAW for you marriage
4.PRAISE your mother-in-law for growing up your husband in a right way
5. Try to TOLERATE some of the evil things that your mother-in-law do to you
6. Don't reveal anything to your husband about your mother-in-law activities,this makes your mother-in-law to like you more
7.Just don't believe any gossips regarding your mother-in-law
8.Always ask your mother-in-law to lead your family
9.Get permissions from your mother-in-law for even doing silly things
10.Always talk politely with her
11.Take much care during her illness
12.Try to give her a baby as soon as possible

Author: Aarti    21 Dec 2009      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3    Voting Score: 0

Hi,
This is the problem with most of daughter in laws face in their life. If in our side we done lots of good thing with our husband but mother in low cant bear with the fact that their son is not taking his mother side when wife is there.
You can do one thing that dont mind if she tells you anything wrong do yourself what you want to right. and dont take tension this not a major thing and it will solve in later.

Author: surya prakash    21 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 4  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

If your mother-in-law is making too many demands on your time, be honest with her about how you feel.

Remind yourself that having a good relationship with your mother-in-law is part of having a strong family.

Even if you don't appreciate her choice of words, you can still thank your mother-in-law for her concern.

…nearly 60 percent of all marriages suffer from tension with mothers-in-law, normally between the daughter-in-law and her husband's mother.

Author: bindiya    22 Dec 2009      Member Level: Bronze     Points : 3  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0

hi,
First of all you show her that you respect and love her a lot.Don't let her feel that her son now don't love her.Give space to their(mother-son)relationship.You bring something for her which she likes because they have not enjoyed all the comforts which we are enjoying today. Make her feel special and important that you need her more than she needs you.

Author: Sri Sailaja    23 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 2    Voting Score: 0

Hi friend,

Its nice to know that you like your mother in law. Here are a few tips to flatter your mother in law.

1. Be obedient with your mother in law.
2.Consult her opinion for any important decision in the house.It showes your respect towards her.
3.In front of outsiders/relatives/friends give due importance to her. Introduce your friends/relatives to her.This will make her feel connected and not insecure.
4.Speak good things about her with your husband. Your husband at some point will reveal the good points to his mother. When she comes to know she will be very happy.
5.Your mother - in -law is your new mother now. Keep buying her small gifts when you and your husband go out for shopping.Especially during festivals as older people are more connected with festivals.
6. "The best way to anyone's heart is through their stomach"
Follow this. Keep serving food items which she finds yummy.She will definitely fall for this.
7.Take her to restaurants or movies when your husband is not around.This will enable her to see a "daughter" in you.

I am sure the above tips will work .

Go ahead with them... and all the best.

Regards
Sailaja

Author: MANISHA SATHIYA    23 Dec 2009      Member Level: Silver     Points : 3    Voting Score: 0

Try following :
1. Be religious and talk about it before your mother-in-law
2. Ask about her health, her needs and give positive treatment
3. Give food her in time
4. If she is of old age, take her to temple or church and buy some religious books and read before her.
5. If she is of young age, take her for shopping, share your old experience with her. Share your kitchen work her or do kitchen work before her and coneinue talk.

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