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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Dealing with Possessive people

    There are so many possessive people around us. Possessive people get angry and jealous when their closed one's talk to other people or spend time with them. Some guys or girls will be possessive about their partners and don't let them speak to opposite gender. One of my friend's boyfriend was very possessive about her. He always had a problem if even she smiled at her class guys. He would get irritated if she had to travel alone to visit her parents because of the thought that even men will be travelling in bus or train. He also would tell her that she is not supposed to go out and work as men will be there. Eventually she was very frustrated, irritated and broke up with him.
    I feel a person becomes possessive when he is insecure about himself or when he lacks trust on people. But every individual needs their own space and cannot be controlled by someone.
    Is it really good to be possessive? How to deal such possessive people? Is it good to be with them or just move away?
  • #568580
    I think such individuals have low self esteem. They don't have enough confidence and faith in themselves. Perhaps they always apprehend that someone else will snatch their beloved.
    At the same time, it is also true that most of individuals undergo such phases of possessiveness in their life time at one time or the other. It happens in the case of both the genders. Many women also have such feelings about their spouse and don't like him talking to other girls particularly the prettier one.
    I think such feelings vanish in due course after consolidation of the relationship among the spouses. However, such possessiveness among unmarried couple is meaningless and sheer wastage of time and energy.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #568585
    Possessiveness is a negative feeling with which we become entrapped at some stage of life and the period may vary from short to longer duration. Such negative feeling is the result of inferiority complex and often vanishes when the underlying cause gets resolved with either frank discussion with the family members or councillors. If it is of shorter duration, we need not be panic but persistence of the same for an appreciable duration need to be tackled effectively in order to restore peace in the family - life. It is not that the patient only remains in the agitated state, the entire family may be victim of such turbulence. Possessiveness may retard the efficiency of the affected men and women in many ways and hence due care is required to be taken at all the costs.

  • #568591
    No it is not good to be possessive and being excessively possessive might be seen as a sign of an unhealthy mind. People are often possessive about people they consider themselves very close to. Usually it can be seen in case of spouses/partners but is not limited to them. One can even at times observe possessive behavior between friends, or for parents. Many people who are possessive believe they simply love their beloved too much to even think of sharing them. This is a wrong assumption. The truth is that possessive people are actually very insecure about their position in the relationship. They are afraid that someone else might come and replace them in the relationship. They don't trust their partner to remain constant in their feelings. The overall result is that the person being 'possessed' feels frustrated and inhuman for being treated like a commodity rather than an individual.
    The only way to overcome this problem is for a frank discussion between all the concerned parties. For the aggrieved to let the aggressor know what their actions are doing to them. Furthermore, they can try confidence building exercises that help remove the insecurities about the relationship and commitment level of each party.
    In case of possessive boyfriends/girlfriends, if upon making efforts to allay the fears of one's possessive partner there is still no visible sign of improvement, then it is better to leave them so that atleast one's own mental peace can be preserved. A possessive person will have to make his or her own journey towards building up their self confidence so that they can let go of these vicious emotions. Continuing being with them can be toxic for others, and one should avoid such negativity at all costs.


  • #568629
    Possessive people are not sure of themselves and they even doubt a genuine person and make ourselves to belief that even genuine persons are rogue. Possessive people cannot take decision on their own and they heavily depend on others to initiate and then they tow the idea.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #568656
    Lat us face the bitter truth. Crimes like acid attacks etc. take place due to such possessiveness only.
    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #568663
    In my opinion, possessiveness is a disease. Any person MUST not try to control any other person. Your friend should have broke up with him a long ago. Thank God she did it now because such people never change and she could not have lived happily with him in future. We all can become possessive at some point of our life but that is the time to assess our maturity. It is better not to make friends with possessive people but we should not avoid them completely. I have never been possessive in my life and I am sure I won't be in the future too.

    Let us continue learning.

  • #568667
    Possessive people are confused, some time due to many failure they get possessive for every body whom they like, Although in other words we can say possessive means extra caring, but it does not liked by every one, because they do doubt, they talk like a spy, and try to inquiry about all your activities and behavior. I might happen in any relation, whether couples, parents, friends, office colleagues,
    And due to this behavior there is chances of getting away from families, and might you loose your friends or partner. SO if some body is over possessive for you, then just sit with him/her alone, and discuss properly and make him/her understand that he/she is doing a mistake which might boycott from society.

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