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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Parents spend time and money on the children so that they can be helpful in future

    "Please understand that parents spend time and money on the children so that they can be helpful in future." I found the aforementioned statement posted in a forum response. How many of you believe in this philosophy? Do parents really spend time and money on their children so they can have good returns on their investment?

    Doesn't that make the parent-child relationship a business deal? Invest in the child so one's future is looked after. I see that as an acquisitive act.

    In my opinion parents do things for their children out of love. I do not see even what they do for their kids as sacrifice – whatever a parent does is a manifestation of love, it is selfless love. When we start investing in our children in the hope of getting something in return we change the equation from giving love to expectation. All parents who do things for their children hoping that they would someday repay them are actually being selfish. What they do is not for their children, but for themselves, to secure their own future. Do you agree?
  • #570523
    I agree that the parents spend money on their children because of selfless love. The system continues and the children similarly spend on their own children out of their selfless love. Thus the question of getting back from the children doesn't arises at all.
    However the parents get many things in return including money, in case the children become self dependent financially. They no longer remain dependent on the parents after getting gainful employment and thus the parents are able to have their own savings to spend on themselves.
    Having dependent children in the old age is perhaps one of the worse kind of misery, an individual can have.
    Some of them are likely to wait like vultures for the demise of their parents.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #570533
    What is wrong in that statement. When time , energy and money is spent on the future of the children, it is duty bound for them to repay or pay back with courtesy. There cannot be business deal between parent and child but this is the general expectation of every parent. If you visit any home where in having one child and having rejected them, how the parents feel ashamed for having given birth to such a child who never cared them. Instead of parents asking to pay back, children must be intelligent enough to realize the pain and agony of parents who under went through so many tricky times in their life to accumulate money for the study and making a big man in the society.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #570537
    No, I do not agree. Parents spend time, money and energy to develop their children so that they can take care of themselves and their immediate family members (wife/husband and their own children) in future. At least in our family, my parents didn't and still don't have any expectation from us (my brother, my sister and myself). Even at a very advanced age, they are still self-sufficient.
    I also have no expectation from my daughter. I only want her acquire the ability to look after herself and her family in future.

    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #570538
    I strongly disassociate from this notion of helping one to get help in return.

    Parents always eager to see their children to grow and self sufficient at one stage, then why this business touch this relationship?

    There may be many instances where children may not take care of their aged parents but it does not mean they have rejected them because sometimes parents also do not wish to become burden to their children.

    Parents who may feel sad or disappointed with their children's attitude of not helping them at an advanced age but no parent will never regret for the help they did to their children.

    There is a vast difference between relationship and business, expecting something in return is a business where as it is selfless love and affection is the only essence involved in a relationship.

  • #570539
    Just like most of the responses feel here,I too do not believe in that statement. I have never seen that happen in my family or anywhere in my closest family. Whatever they do, they di just one aim to make their children self sufficient. They never think of getting something back as if it were a long term investment.
    Yes, I agree that they would want the repayment - in the form of compassion, love, understanding and companionship.

    Live....and Let Live...!

  • #570540
    Kailash – I agree with you partially.

    Mohan - What is wrong with that statement? There is a tremendous lot wrong with it. What is worse is there is a tremendous lot wrong with your statement made above as well.

    Every interaction between parents and child should be one stemming from love. If a parent begins characterizing different aspects of their relationship with their children as spending time, money and energy then they take away the main component from that relationship, which is love.

    I call it a business deal since it comes with a pre-condition, an expectation. When expectations enter relationships then the bond no longer remains pure. There is always that nagging expectation behind every action, which should ideally be just an act of love. Love puts others before self, but in this case parents with expectations are just trying to ensure their future. This is not the general expectation of every parent.

    Parents who feel ashamed of having given birth to their children because they do not meet their expectation value themselves more. They feel ashamed because their 'investment' went wrong. Let the parent-child relationship remain pure, without any greed and wants. Steer away from emotional-blackmail of pain and agony.

    Partha – I too have one child and what we do for her is for her future alone. We do not look at her as an investment that will pay dividends in our old age.

    Pramod – Well said.

    Timmappa - Love begets love. If children are given unconditional love they will reciprocate in the same way. However, if a child grows up in an environment where he is reminded of the money, energy and time spent to secure his future he will fail to see it as love - because love to him has been commodified.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #570542
    Though perhaps nowadays the situation has changed a little bit, but in the past in certain parts of the country and in certain societies, the parents used to openly demand dowry at the time of marriage of their son, in lieu of expenditure incurred by them on his education.
    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #570545
    I too do not believe that parents spend time and money on children expecting them to be helpful in future. I agree with the author that the whole exercise takes a different meaning when we expect something in return. Looking after our children and working for their overall welfare is our responsibility as parents and it is our love and care for them that makes the relationship special. I still look forward to my parents whenever I am in some difficulty and they are the the only persons who lend out a helping hand without asking questions. Whether the children will look after their parents in their old age or not is a different thing and we must not be worried about the same when we are carrying out our duties as parents.
    Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad - Miles Kington.

  • #570547
    While doing something for the child, such an idea that the child would repay back the dues being invested this time does not come in mind. Of course, sacrifice,love and child care even in terms of money reflects the selfless love of the parents. May be there are some people around us plotting a fabricated story to poison the ear of the son so that the natural bond between them is distorted. Parents don't have any desire for the materialistic return for the sincere deeds undertaken by them in the past.
    An indifferent attitude of the child in his grown up state may hurt the sentiment of the parents but still there selfless love would not diminish despite the negligence shown by his son/ daughter.

  • #570548
    If the child is not repaying the parents after he gets settled down, then what is the meaning in the life of parents to wait for so many long years and see dark future for themselves as they already invested vast money kept for their future, on the child. So love and affection on child is farce. The very relation between the child and parents is questionable if give and take policy does not exist. If you go and visit a ailing person in hospital with Son not at the disposal, the very question asked by the visitors that why he not taking care or helping with money. Therefore I wont agree with the author. Give and take policy exists with all and that applies to children and parents.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #570555
    Mohan – I do expect you to stick to your stand because you believe in it so strongly. However, to me and a whole lot of other members, this whole proposition of yours seems misplaced. It's clear that our parenting skills and values do not match.

    The phrase 'if the child is not repaying' strengthens my belief that you look at raising children as an investment. In love, there are no records maintained of how much you did for another, so the question of repayment does not arise. In love, you do things without wanting anything in return. If you expect something in return for every action (in any relationship) then I see that as a calculated move.

    The bond between parent and child should be without any strings attached. The point I want to make is that if parents display pure love they will receive love in return. If in case they do things to keep themselves from a 'dark future' then, they are being manipulative. Children are smart enough to recognize and differentiate between pure acts of love and planned acts of love. They can see through their parents and know when their parents are doing something with an aim of getting something in return. Children (I guess) must find themselves used and hapless when they are at the receiving end of premeditated actions with a set goal in mind instead of just pure, selfless love from their parents.

    The only people who matter to me are the ones I love and care for. Instead of mulling over what others have to say I will be considerate towards my offspring and understand why she is not available, in my time of need. I will not hold her absence against her for I know that with time priorities change. I am confident that values I have imparted to her and the love I have showered on her will keep our bond strong. Love cannot be measured in how much financial assistance a child can provide to his parents. Sometimes, circumstances do not permit an adult child to spare money for his parents. Sometimes, the relationship gets marred due to various reasons and parents are generally responsible for the relationship souring between them and their kids. They do not change with time and hold steadfast their views, creating a rift.

    I would think any child who knows his parents are investing in him to secure their own future will not feel love for his folks. Remember, he did not know love; he grew up with scheming parents who kept their future in mind when doing things for him.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #570558
    Mr. Mohan, I can't agree with you in this regard. Let us ponder over a question: How much could/can we return to our parents? Even if we sincerely wish, we can't fully re-pay their contribution (at least in my case). So, why should we expect that from our children which we ourselves can't do?
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #570565

    It appears too strange for me to find your comments and your beliefs in the true meaning of parenting. Your thoughts seem to have been developed because of what you might have gone through, but seeking something in return for what you have done for your child is quite uncalled for.

    I, for one have a son who is eleven years old. I keep pressurising him moderately to be good at what he does academically. I spend for him even keeping my own priorities aside. But, I do not expect to get something back from him. What I do for him is for his future. I just want him to lead a secure life both financially and emotionally. That is what I try to inculcate in him. I am not spending on him in a hope that he will take care of me.

    And this atmosphere is what will make him love us as parents. And if he loves us, he will take care of me and my wife. But if he doesn't - no worries. I have planned for my future along with his. Just because I have spent on my son's education and other needs, I cannot make him responsible to pay me back.

    Live....and Let Live...!

  • #570570
    The parents i.e. the father and mother duo raise their children. In traditional socities the mother represents the love component which is unconditional and father symbolizes love as well as the protector and the provider.
    However the equilibriam of the equation changes when the mother of the next generation enters the scene i.e. after the marriage of the son.
    After birth of their own children again a mother-father duo starts functioning for raising their own child.
    Children do repay the love in emotional as well as in material form depending upon the values inculacted in them by the parents. They become more sensitive toward such issues after birth of their own children.
    However the values brought with her, by the mother of the next generation makes the difference.
    The people should love their daughter-in-law, perhaps more than their own daughter.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #570575
    To start with, I was travelling around the corridors of Delhi by an AC car provided to me and the city looked very beautiful. I had to stay at my own expense on private affairs and used public transport, the same city looked to be more expensive and costlier city to live. When we look at the things from the glass doors, they would look differently while we come out of the AC room and stand at the spot, the thing would be other way round.

    I don't know in what context the author of the line - "Please understand that parents spend time and money on the children so that they can be helpful in future" - was referring to. But the core point in the line can't be ignored. We have middle class families and the parents sweat their life with lot of struggles to bring their children with a hope that they would take care of them in future. Nothing wrong in it and we should not compare it with business. You can see lot of parents left alone in their old age and those people who can afford to pay the rent for old age home are being placed there. Those who can't afford, divide their parents and fight for their mother to utilise the services of domestic help. Is it not a fact happening in many families? Is it not the business the children are getting engaged in, to evade the moral responsibility?

    Mr. Mohan might not have projected his argument properly but there is a merit in his argument. Those people who are well off or who don't require the help of the children by virtue of their earnings and pension benefits may talk about love without reciprocation. Let us remove our cooling goggles and see the real world!


  • #570576
    An unexplainable emotion-call it loves, affection or anything, it is not fully explainable with any words we know- flows first from the mother and next from the father. From then on, it is the flow and manifestation of that feeling which moulds the behaviour of the parents to that child. Slowly that changes to a selfish possessiveness.
    The parents want everything best for the child. Even if they are otherwise broadminded, they become selfish for the sake of the child. There cannot be a logical or reasonable explanation. They give the best food to the child taking the leftovers or the crumble themselves. They give the best of everything they have or can get to the child. Nowhere or at no time do the parents feel that they are doing all this to get back something?
    However when the child grows and grows better than the parents in health and wealth, the parents develop a confidence of safety and dependability on the child. This is just like one feels safe and confident to hold the railings or support on climbing stairs or holding o to another person walking on an uneven road. That is just a natural feeling of taking help from the friend and familiar.
    Even when parents influence selection and choice of a educational course, career or life partner it is only a naive and benign wish that the child should have the best in everything.
    Parents DO NOT spend time and money on their children thinking of a quid pro quo or thinking of a return. It is only because of a combination of their natural selfless affection and the selfish feeling that their child should have the best possible.

    Let us keep faith on ourselves and work sincerely, not leave everything to fate.

  • #570580
    I agree with the author. Parents love is unconditional. They spend on their children with their love. They do not expect anything out of their children expect them to be happy. They do as much as they can do for their children to give them all the comforts. Parents expect only their children's love in return but nothing else. Parent do everything for children out of their love and not with the expectation that children should take care of them.

  • #570585
    Parents are a good gift to their own parents. Getting a child is a God gift. Further, getting the child married (at the right age) is to get another gift (child), and so on.. the gifts(children) are being received in chain as long as the earth rotates. It is the duty of every parent to preserve the gift (child) they get without any expectation from the gift(child). At times, the gift remains good better and best and gives a good return (taking care) to the parents. At times, they may not take care owing to circumstances.

    All parents will bring up their wards due to their love and affection towards the child (gift). Never with an antipation to get some return from their child, but for the benefit of their child only.

    Rich parents may not and need not worry about their wards. Poor parents would feel if they are not cared by their wards but console themselves calling it as their fate.

    Yesterday child is parent today. Today child will be parent tomorrow. It is the chain of love and affection that a wheel of life rotates with parent and child concept.

    No life without Sun ¤

  • #570644
    Mohan, I can't simply believe it's you who said those words. That you are bringing up your daughter to see that you are taken care of in your old age; isn't this thought, very selfish of you. Bringing up our children with the utmost care and love is our duty towards them. It's not a favour that we are doing. Where is our self-respect, when we expect our child to be duty bound to take care of us. Agreed, we all will get old with age and won't be able to do a lot many things of our own. If our children are with us in our old age, it will be a lot easier for us. But that doesn't mean that we bring up our children, with that selfish thought in mind. Yes, it is true that in earlier times when people were mostly poor, the parents expected their sons to take care of them. But not in this age. Doesn't even the Gita say, we need to do our duty, without the expectation of any rewards. If we can give a better future to our children that itself is our reward. Even if our children don't take care of us in our old age, we should keep our self-respect intact and somehow manage to live. We can hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Moreover, in today's world where most children work far away from home, the parents have to live on their own. There's no other go.

    I know of my grandmother who lived beyond the age of 90 years all of her own, even though she had 8 daughters and 2 sons to look after her. It's not that her sons and daughter were not ready to take care of her. It was simply the other way around. She maintained her self-respect and believed in herself. It was her inner strength that enabled her to live of her own even at such age, without taking the help of any of her children.

    And Mohan there are many unfortunate children in this world who are either physically or mentally handicapped. Think about their parents. What about them, if they too start thinking the way you are thinking. What will then happen to such kids? The parents will simply refuse to take care of their handicapped kids, knowing fully well that there kids will not be in a position to take care of them. Such parents will simply dump their child for a much more uncertain future.

    Of all people I didn't expect you taking such a stand, where your own interests matter more than your child.

    Patience and perseverance pays

  • #570650
    Jagdish – The original author used the line in response to someone who appears to belong to an affluent business family. The crux of my argument is that his reasoning is unacceptable because it displays selfishness. You choose to disagree with my view and that is your prerogative. However, it does not mean that you are right. If I am to see the world through your eyes I'll see a very self-centered world.

    If middle class 'parents sweat and struggle to raise their kids with a hope that they would take care of them in future' then they are a blotch to humanity. I cannot digest the fact that you see nothing wrong with it. I see it as nothing but a selfish act. It is definitely a business because these parents provide for their child in the hope of a better future for themselves. I equate parents more concerned about securing their own future to a mercenary.

    Most parents, barring a few, care for their offspring without an ulterior motive. When you associate a purpose to why parents care for their children you take away the sanctity of the relationship.

    I do not subscribe to your view that moneyed people can do without their children. All parents need and want their children, irrespective of their financial status. What I find wrong is the idea of parents providing for their children in the hope that they will in turn be provided for, in their old age. It is this aspect that I find selfish and disturbing. Your real world is way different from mine and perhaps also from that of the majority of members on ISC. A parent acts out of love. The day parents start counting the benefits of the time, energy and money they put into their children they seize to be parents and become calculating business persons who invest in ventures where they foresee profit and good returns.

    Please do not bring in how some children treat their parents, into the discussion. Two wrongs do not make a right. That is another topic for discussion – if you initiate a discussion I'll post my response there. For the moment let's stick to the topic.

    The responses of other members are truly inspiring. They are lessons on what it means to be a parent.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #570651
    When the feeling of the parent is not understood here then what is the use of participating in such issues are even raising them. Close this thread.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #570670
    Mr. Mohan, Why can't you come out with your firm opinion on the topic giving clarity to your line of thinking instead of asking to close the thread? There appears a communication gap and a misreading of your line. There is nothing wrong, in a public forum where we exchange our views, to explain the circumstances of putting our view firmly or going back track taking cognizance of the opinion of other members.

    Ms. Juana - I too accept that parents bring up their children with affection and love and there should not be any thought of anticipating any yield from them in future. If a parent does so, definitely it is like a business deal and such business deals do take place in the creamy layer of the society only. Those people who invest more on their sons in particular, send them to foreign soil for studies and expect more from them.

    What I am trying to project is that it is the moral responsibility of the children to take care of their parents in their old age and many of the boys today avoid sharing the responsibility and I have seen many old people struggling at their fag end of life. As you have requested not to link this with the main topic of the thread, I am not stretching it further.

    Dhruv: I am just taking a line from your response - " Yes, it is true that in earlier times when people were mostly poor, the parents expected their sons to take care of them. But not in this age."

    Do you think that things have improved in all parts of the country? Still, we have rural India, a part that is undeveloped and the living standards are not yet improved. The motive and intentions of the parents also be based on their living standards. Mr. Mohan's view represents the feelings of such people who really struggle a lot to bring up their children with care, love and affection but not the least, with a hope that they would share their burden in the future.


  • #570685
    I do not think this statement is correct for every parents.
    As we all must have witness some parents does not have kids, but they adopt a child and spend money and time, some parents even spend money for their young children as he is not able to get a job or business,
    And I do not think expecting from parents such things is bad, as they get older and they need support and for that support they are making their child eligible to handle them. Either by monetary or by standing behind them.
    This is life, we always depend upon each other.

  • #570728
    I have seen many parents who have sacrificed all their earning in making their children successful. They did that to such an extent that they didn't had anything for their life during the most difficult times. They didn't expected their children to leave them alone in such situation. They didn't got the same love they gave to their children in making them successful. I don't think any parent would expect monetary benefits from their children when they become successful. All they want is respect and love during their difficult times. There are many children who don't care about their old parents after becoming successful specially if their parents don't have anything in their name.

    Those parents who want monetary benefits are just like a money lender and don't fit into the category of parents. They are just a business minded people who will not spare anyone for money. I don't think any rich parent will have any problem during their twilight period, so they can easily say that they don't want anything from their children. It is not easy to spend time in old age without money or family. Either money or family is definitely required during the most difficult times.

  • #570729
    When many members feel that my notion is wrong and this author has lifted the phrase from my one of the response for which I was even given the cash credits. Now tell me if I am wrong, the whole think tank at ISC is wrong and my cash credit may be cancelled and close this thread which is nothing but members grouping to malign me and nothing me understand my point of reference.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #570741
    K Mohan,

    Please do not get angry. The forum thread was raised as a point of discussion, not to prove you wrong or malign you. Do understand and not take things personally. In an officially announced active GD, do we not see how there are back and forth arguments supporting or dissenting each other's views? We are not there maligning anyone is it? Likewise, consider this an informal group discussion, that's all. You have your point of view and others have theirs. No disrespect is meant either toward you or any other participant here.

    Managing Editor,

  • #570742
    No one is maligning you. If you are confident of your comment then defend it, instead of crying foul. This is a discussion and everyone has a right to their view. I found the remark unacceptable and created a thread on it. Why are you taking it personally?

    It is just one editor who assigns cash credits - not the 'whole think tank'. Maybe, the editor shared your view. By the way, even I have been given cash credits for this thread. It is just your point of view against that of others. Relax!

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #570746
    I would like to touch upon one more aspect of the issue under discussion.
    In agrarian societies, there was a tendency to give birth to as many children (read sons) as possible as they were likely to contribute to the physical/manual activities connected with the cultivation. Thus there was an in-built selfishness involved on the part of the parents to procreate offspring. The birth of the daughters was not welcomed due to the same reasons and they were supposed to be liabilities.
    I have read even one more strange account sharing about which I am myself feeling awkward and ashamed. It is said that during the period of world wars, the British rulers used to award some land to the families of the soldiers who used to sacrifice their lives in the war at far away places. There were greedy families who used to procreate more sons so that they can send at least one of them to fight at remote places as soldiers and get land in lieu of their sacrifice.
    Facts are often stranger than fiction. We simply don't talk about the same as it is considered a taboo.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #570822
    With reference to #570670, I do agree with you Jagdish that India is still poor and a lot many people, poor or otherwise, still expect their sons to support them in their old age. But what Mohan stated was on his own context. He meant himself and not anyone else. Actually Jagdish, it's got nothing to do with poverty or wealth. Even the poor have self-respect. It's more to do with the times. In the earlier times, even the well to do expected their sons (sons only) to take care of them. And the sons, duty bound, used to take care of their parents. But with times, parents these days have become more caring for their progeny. They work very hard, spend sleepless nights, wait outside the examination halls for hours and hours together and take the trouble to provide the best for their children. How many parents used to take so much of trouble for their children in the earlier times? None, it was simply not possible and was not required at all. There weren't any cut-throat competition then, as it is these days. In those times parents hardly indulged their sons and daughters, but expected the sons to take care of the parents during old age. And it was necessary too, people didn't have savings or medical care to take care of them, once they were no more earning. The children used to grow of their own among other children of the joint family. Things are totally different now. Parents take a deep interest in every activity of their children, take pains for their studies, exams, colleges, till the time they get a good job. In that respect, today's parents sacrifice a lot for their sons and daughters without expecting much in return. Moreover, these days parents are aware of the shortcomings of old age and hence are well prepared to take care of themselves.

    Unfortunately the same cannot be said of today's children, (of whom we too are a part). The fast changing world is taking us sons and daughters away from our parents and we are unable to pay them back, for what they have suffered in bringing us up. Is it that, every action has an equal and opposite reaction? Yesteryear parents indulged less, but the sons were very caring. These days parents sacrifice a lot, but we, the sons and daughters hardly reciprocate.

    Patience and perseverance pays

  • #570830
    #570822 @Dhruv: I am totally convinced with your view point. It's true that today's parents are more caring and even overcautious. As you said, they wait outside the examination centre till the end of the exam, get more tensed than the child about the outcome and deeply involved in the counselling process. Even the children also have their way of independent thinking and try to convince their parents which is also a good sign for the parent-child relationship.

    But what I understood from the view point of Mohan that the children should reciprocate after settling down in their life. It may be a gentleman's advice to the youth of today but the very purpose got defeated by highlighting a sentence in this discussion which was picked up from one of his responses.


  • #570852
    I have to respond to Jagdish's post.
    1. Your understanding of Mohan's response is not in sync with his responses. He clearly stated "…but this is the general expectation of every parent." & "Please understand that parents spend time and money on the children so that they can be helpful in future." That children should reciprocate came as an afterthought. The underlying message was obvious about expectations of the parent.
    2. I neither singled out nor misinterpreted the statement. Purpose got defeated! What purpose? Meaningful advice to youth should be about their responsibilities and obligations, not about parents' expectations after spending time and money. I do not see that as sound advice.
    3. Nor do I see singling out the creamy layer and them sending their 'sons' abroad as a business deal, as projected by you. Can you corroborate your claim?

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #570892
    I have high regard to you because of your way of presenting things and clarity in expression of your thoughts. Don't think that I am batting for someone as I haven't followed the earlier thread where the response containing the line that is subjected for discussion was posted. Yet I feel things are blowing out of proportion due to our sensitive reaction to the responses that are misrepresented/misread due to one's language skills.

    Either me or yourself or the author of the quote are like teachers with teaching skills with different variance but the motto is the same i.e teaching the pupil in their style. I am sure and convinced that the author of the said line has no other intention but to guide the present generation to take care of their parents as they are investing on them with lot of hope. I fail to understand where the element of love lost its place while suggesting like that. By stressing on the same line, is it not ridiculing one's sentiments and downplaying the real essence of the subject he wanted to convey the younger lot?

    Yes, it appears a communication gap and understanding the both sides of a coin. As majority of the respondents have not favoured the view of the author's line and it doesn't mean that merit in his argument is lost.


  • #570976

    Well, what can I say! You keep the topic alive with your responses.

    I cannot influence your thinking. You have a right to an opinion. However, language skills or the lack of the same were not at play here. It was a clear message - the line might have been a guide to the youth, but the underlying message came from the parents' perspective. It had a clear undertone of what parents' expect.

    I won't go to the extent of accepting myself a teacher on ISC; I am, just someone with a clear thinking mind that gives birth to opinions. I consider everyone else here to be the same.

    In this instance, there is an obvious clash of opinions between your thinking and mine. You see nothing wrong in stating "…they are investing on them with lot of hope." I would have supported your view if that hope was for a better future for the children. I speak for myself, I do not invest in my child in the hope that she will someday repay me. I invest in her, for her wellbeing. The thought that the investment I make will one day work in my favour has never crossed my mind. I only hope for a good future for my child. I hope for her to be successful. There is a difference in my 'hope' and the 'hope' you bring to the discussion. I see selfishness in the hope that you project and also a shaming of parental love.

    ISC has members belonging to different age groups. One cannot say which remark can influence someone. For you to think that the statement under discussion would send a message to the youth, alone, is a grave misinterpretation. It can spark a change in how parents look at their children too. It might make some parents look at their kids as an investment for their future. Do not undermine the effect of any statement. You might consciously deny that you're not sticking up for the author, but your participation (subconsciously) is doing just that.

    Divergent points of views surface in every discussion. I don't see you opposing my view as ridiculing/downplaying my sentiments, why then do you consider mine as derisive? Give the author credit for his view, the audience might not agree with it, but don't term it as miscommunication. His subsequent responses had a similar undercurrent – which is why members jumped in to voice their discontent.

    I'll continue the discussion as long as you keep it going. It is for you to decide when to stop (and by stop, I do in no way mean locking the thread).

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #570988
    When I first saw the title, I didn't like it. So, I did not even open to see what is going on. Later, when I open and saw the content, I came to know what is going on here.

    Let me say my point of views as a parent from a middle class family. I have a daughter and only one child. I never thought even once that I should have a son. It is our decision to have one child and I am happy with my decision. As for now, I have only one aim, to give her better education and make her stand in front of the world. I have no idea how the future will end, If I have to struggle because I have no son? Frankly, I never allowed to bring such thought in my mind. I only want her to live her life as a successful person. Without even thinking whether she will look after me or not. It really doesn't matter for me.

    "Any man who stands for progress has to criticize, disbelieve and challenge every item of the old faith." - Sardar Bhagat Singh

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