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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Can daughter continue father's last name to her children?

    This topic I brought up because I am seeing big difference in sex ratio of India overall. There are villages where there is no woman to have marriage happens. So I thought root cause of this and realized it is all in your name and genes which we pass to next generation. Fortunately children possess genes from both parents. Just think what would be situation otherwise. Anyway, genes is not a big problem. So remaining is your full name. First child is always given his father's name and last name to continue his life things. Now for girl child , when she marries , she renounce name along with husband and his family name. So parent's of girl thinks this is end of their dynasty which will not happen if they have son. There are lot of celebrity examples where woman recognized more by their parent's last name e.g. Pratibha Patil but are very few and that too most of them append their in-laws last name. Now if woman authorize to put her last name as children's last name then there would be problem for man. But this could control the sex ratio and will have freedom of choice and not worry about having girl or boy as child. Through this forum , I would like to take your opinion on this and want to understand legally if it is doable.
  • #572172
    In our tradition ie brahmins of South India, we keep the first letter of the father as the initial and that would continued up to the marriage of the daughter and then her husband first name shall be retained. For example my father name was Krishna Swamy, and I carry K as the initial and name as Mohan. My son Aditya is called as M Aditya. So after his marriage, his children will carry the initial of A. Therefore it is clear that the initial of the father ends once the marriage of the daughter is performed and she carries the name of the husband as the first initial.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #572180
    Carrying forward the lineage is just one small issue in this very big problem. There is a huge misconception in most peoples' minds, one that makes them believe that only sons can look after them in their old age. There are still many people out there who consider daughters to be a liability and that they belong to another family and that they eventually get married and leave the parents' home, leaving them (the parents) alone.

    Such people do not realize that the bond between the child and parent is very strong and marriage alone cannot break this beautiful relationship. It is values or the lack of them that keep/spoil the parent/child bond.

    In our culture, there are a number of customs that require the presence of a son. For instance, the son is required to light the funeral pyre. This makes people want to have at least one son, so their last rights are performed as per tradition.

    However, things are changing - people have started to welcome daughters into the family. It is a slow process, but it 's at least a start.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #572182
    At macro level, such a discrimination happens due to natural differences in gender traits. Women have capacity to bear more stress and men are physically strong. Therefore in underdeveloped societies, where industrialization or automation has not penetrated, preference is given to sons as they provide manual labor. In countries with large population like India or China, male children are preferred. On the other hand in developed societies, where due to industrialization, more stress has developed, there is no such gender discrimination.
    Moreover, historically India was always ridden with wars. Wars change the population ration as many males die in the wars.
    In India, preference is given to sons because of the deep rooted beliefs prevailing since ages. However despite such beliefs, humans are not able to do much and have to compromise with the given situation, though advent of medical technology has increased the instances of foeticide or sex selective abortions.
    With the spread of education, the things are changing. Nowadays many women are retaining their maiden name even after marriages or suffixing the surnames of both the families.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #572694
    @K Mohan
    Appreciate knowledge you shared about culture you are following. I hope all castes and area of India to follow this way having your father initial and your name in all places. Do you think this would stop the girl foeticide?

    @Juana,Kailash
    I like your comments very much about expectations from son and daughter and why son. My intent of this forum was to understand if woman is authorize to name her children post marriage legally and do you think this can limit then female foeticide?

    To explain my point here is example. Consider woman having girl child was forced to abort. If she authorized to give girl her maternal name then it should not be problem for in laws side. Also there are many single mothers who after divorce prefer to stick with maternal name. Any how they did not have any benefit having husband's name so why to carry their legacy.

    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful

  • #572714
    What I feel that girl foeticide is no where concerned with carrying the name of the father as initial by the next generation. In fact for me daughter and son are the same and they are given equal preference and weight-age in every aspect.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #572724
    A child is born to two people – a male and a female. The law expects a child born in wedlock to carry the father's name. There is no way that a married woman can exclude the father's name from her child's name. Among other concerns, there can be legal complications, if the father decides to fight the matter in court. The law as of now permits single mothers and those who bear a child out of wedlock to not disclose the name of the father of the child in the birth certificate –the law allows them to use their maiden name alone, after providing an affidavit.

    Anyhow, permitting women to give their maiden names to children born to them in a marriage will not solve the problem of foeticide or infanticide. These crimes are committed because people do not want daughters – period. They want sons for reasons explained in #572180.

    The need of the hour is in educating and sensitizing people. The centre has taken some initiatives, through various schemes, to close the existing gender divide. However, as long as peoples' thinking continue to be ruled by regressive views not much will change.

    A woman needs a support system to be able to stand up to her in-laws. Her birth family plays a crucial role here, they should not abandon a daughter after marriage, believing the age old tradition that she now belongs to someone else and they have no rights over her. In our system, a simple relationship becomes complex because of practices that we have come to believe to be right. Once thinking of people changes, everything else will automatically change.

    I congratulate you on raising this topic for discussion. It highlights your positive qualities. You can do your bit by spreading awareness on this subject through discussions and educating people around you.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #572725
    Time is changing. Things are changing. Earlier we used to have only the father's name as initial. It is not a must for a girl to suffix her hubby's name after her marriage. It is her wish to have it or not. To have it changed, some procedure has to be followed to amend her initials. Her Birth certificate may differ with her name with the husbands name suffixed. An individual should have both his/her father's and mother's name as their initial. What is written in the Birth Certificate should be followed until the issue of a Death Certificate. The trend is changing now. Every individual should have two initials representing their father and mother.

    Father's name - Mr. A B Siva
    Mother's name - Ms. B C Parvathi
    Individuals name - Ms. S P Karthika (Ms. Siva Parvathi Karthika -(This is what should be documented in her birth certificate and should be continued even after marriage until death )

    My daughter, though married, still carries my name as a suffix to her name in all her official documents.

    No life without Sun ¤

  • #572730
    In some matriarchal society in North-East, I have seen that the progenies take the surnames of their mothers.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #572945
    @Juana,Mohan
    Thanks for details about legality of scenario. Appreciate that. My point is to turn the wheel of son dependency opposite side. Reason I thought of this forum was everyone from family wants to grow their dynasty so to be informative about their ancestors. It's like one particular cast want to keep their culture alive and not diminish. Now what if man has to change his name to girl's maiden name after marriage and what if their children follows mother's maiden name. This will make sure that girl's have more immunity than boys for survival because family will be known by their name. Imagine if someone has no girl then they their son has to renounce to wife's maiden name after marriage and that will be end of that boy's lastname continuity.

    Unfortunately it is like fairy tale and will take years to legally achieve it. For same reason thought of checking if it is doable to allow mother to choose keeping her son or daughter's full name. I appreciate southern India some castes who are not following lastname culture.

    @Sun
    Very good and valid point. That again required legal battle but.

    @All
    Is it required to put lastname in birth certificate? What if we add mother and father name their instead like Sun said in #572725.

    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful

  • #572956
    The suggestion might work in a highly progressive society. In societies where legitimacy is considered a virtue, this proposal will receive a lot of flak. Moreover, ours is a very complex society – we hold our caste and religion as trophies, they define who we are.

    Families who abort/kill are insensitive to the fact that they are destroying one of their own. Selfishness and a sense of false pride overrule them. They need to look beyond themselves.

    Change has begun – albeit in small doses. Many couples consciously opt for one child – even when the child is a girl.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!


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