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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    What makes an ideal would be husband?

    In the traditional 'kundali' matching system, it is said that there are 36 'guna' (factors) to be matched for finalising a matrimonial alliance. However, it is said that only in case of Rama and Sita, all the 36 factors matched, though the end result is well known.
    In the case of normal human beings, in case more than 50% i.e. 18 factors matches, then it is considered a compatible alliance though more the merrier.
    However, since all individuals don't subscribe to astrological philosophies, there has to be some alternate system to facilitate the final decision.
    Let us try to compile a list of 36 factors which should ideally be present in a would be bridegroom. My contribution is as follows -
    1. The would be husband should be medically fit i.e. free of dreaded diseases.
    The learned ISCians may please develop the list.

    '(Disclaimer: No gender discrimination is intended in raising this thread in respect of only would be husbands. A separate thread will be raised regarding the would be wife also after a conclusion of the discussion on this thread)'
  • #574350
    The predictions made by the Pundits have gone wrong on numerous occasions, may be the timing of births for both brides and bride - grooms produced before the Pundits were not indicative of the exact timings causing an erranous predictions or may be the pundits are not aware of basic principal as of calculations. Even if Pundits have given green signals with high scorings in respect of factors, there have been in many instances failures of the arranged marriages.
    We need to fix some other parameters before the marriages are finalised - the most important being the matching of temperaments, trustworthiness and willingness to sacrifice for the opposite partner in case of urgencies. In order to lead a healthy life, both the partners should be devoid of dreaded diseases such as TB, AIDS and other life - styl diseases so that their babies too enjoy the healthy lives.

  • #574376
    Well from the daughter side, the parents looks for some interesting and important things in the would be son in law and that includes the Mangalya balam. That the age of the boy must be more than the girl and he should live for more years. He must have children immediately after marriage. If Putra Bhagyam is not there, then continuing to live in harmony may not be possible. The boy must have the fortune to earn and save. This is more important as in many cases after the marriage the boy lost the job and the blame was went to the newly wed wife. If these three are matching with that of brides horoscope, then there cannot be any problem to decide on the marriage between the two;
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #574401
    Matching horoscope and reading kundali is just a tradition followed and many people don't actually believe it. If minimum number of gunas match, elders agree upon that marriage and some of the people have stopped matching horoscope only. Ideal person is the one who has good character, has the capability of taking care of spouse nicely and behaving properly and the horoscope doesn't make a person ideal.

  • #574409
    Families these days look for a rich and handsome husband for their daughter. Even girls prefer a person who is earning a lot and has heavy bank balance. Nobody will like an unemployed man to become the son-in-law of a family. So, the first priority is money and look. Although, money and looks don't guarantee a good life partner but still parents prefer it.

    Kundalis are thrown into dustbin by girl's parents if a man is rich and handsome. I have seen many parents manipulating girl's Kundali to get them married in a rich house. The problem is that most of the rich and settled men look for love marriage rather than arrange marriage which makes it very difficult for those girls who belong to rural area and not so good looking to get a good match for them.

  • #574428
    Colloquially, nowadays a love marriage means a marriage in which the parents don't get any dowry.
    Regarding the main theme of the topic, nobody has mentioned so far that the would be husband should be a handsome boy i.e. tall, good features and fair in complexion also.
    Contrary to the popular belief, physical beauty of a boy weighs as much as in the case of a girl.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #574447
    What is very important to a would be husband would be the five vowel like things. -

    Age and ability - The age should be three years more than the girl with maturity and ability to perform in life.
    Education and Employment - Should know to read, write and speak well, and should be employed .
    Intelligence - Should be able to react to situations with good intelligence.
    Openness - Should be very frank and open minded with his spouse.
    Understanding and Uxorious - Very good understanding and adjustment with wife in life. Should be an uxorious husband. Must be very fond of his wife.

    The above are the five essential things that a girl should expect from her would be husband. Peace will prevail with love in their marital life. All will go well with the five.

    No life without Sun ¤

  • #574451
    It is only when marriages are arranged that specific qualities are desired (by parents of the bride) in the groom to be. Alliances where love precedes the marriage do not mandate any demands.

    Most parents I think would look for the following:
    1. Educational qualification of the groom, his salary and professional growth potential
    2. Social and economic status of the family
    3. Whether the family lives in their own house/owns immovable property
    4. Number of daughters in the family and their social status if they are married (people do not want their daughters to be married into a family which has too many daughters, as they can turn into a responsibility)
    5. Source of income of the parents (those running a business, working or drawing a pension are preferred over parents who would be dependent on the son)
    6. Physical and mental health of the prospective groom and his immediate family
    7. Character is important too and people are known to do background checks, on that front

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #574459
    Qualities of ideal would-be husband! Hmmm....! The answer would be same. Every man would say: "The qualities possessed by me". Every lady would say: "The qualities possessed by my best friend's husband".
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #574464
    Juana (#574451 ) - Regarding your last point regarding background checks about character, I do agree that it is a very crucial factor. But generally, the people have dual standards in such matters. They tend to define 'character' gender wise. Will you please care to elucidate your point more.
    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #574628
    Kailash - 'Character' in the Indian context encompasses a lot of things. When carrying out a background or character check for a marriage alliance people often want answers to the following specifics –

    1. Is the guy in a relationship with another woman?
    2. Did he have a broken engagement/relationship/affair?
    3. Is he an alcoholic/social drinker?
    4. Does he have any vices?
    5. Is he a womanizer?
    6. Does the family have (drunken) brawls?
    7. Does the family get into fights with neighbours?
    8. Is the father a drunkard?
    9. Does he have a mistress?
    10. If there a married son in the family - how is the daughter-in-law treated?
    11. What do the daughters in the family do?
    12. Is the family involved in something illicit?
    13. Is there a history of violence or dowry demands linked to the family?

    It is basically a check to see that the boy and his family are normal, everyday people, and do not possess qualities that could pose a problem post marriage.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!


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