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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Is it essential for a couple to know each other before their marriage?

    Many arranged marriages are splitting due to improper communication and understanding among couples whom they don't know before marriage; and after marriage when they starts to know each other's problems and/or weaknesses their relationship starts thrilling and the matter ends with divorce cases. How do you think it is essential for a couple to know and understand each other before their marriage? As per my opinion there must be a bridge of understanding and knowing each other before marriage, so that after marriage there will be no issues and they can live happily. What's your saying in this matter?
  • #575049
    Earlier when the marriages were solemnised even during the prepubescent age, there were no such issues as the would-be couple used to be children without having any firm ideology, belief or likes-dislikes. The practice of the child marriage has long been abolished though it is still prevalent in certain societies clandestinely.
    Nowadays, the marriages are being performed quite late often in the late twenties and sometimes even in early thirties also. By that time the individuals concerned have their own full bloomed personalities, likes-dislikes, priorities and preferences. Therefore, sometimes conflict of opinions get developed and in certain unfortunate cases leads to divorce also.
    Generally, nowadays the would-be partners are preferring to know each other prior to entering into the final commitment of marrying each other. It may take six months or even a year in fully assessing the compatibility factor. In few cases, though frowned upon in the Indian society, few would-be couples are entering into a live-in relationships also prior to marriage.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #575068
    Previously when ever the alliances are matched and approved, the elders used to have the interaction with the would be groom or the bride and they used to report the character and aspirations of the would be persons and thus a amicable way of life could be understood after marriage. Now a days the engagement ceremony is held well before marriage and by giving lead time for the bride side to arrange for a formidable marriage celebration and also give ample time for the would be couples to exchange pleasantries and have a heart to heart talk to understand each one better. But what I feel that by having a before hand meeting of two would be couples ,there are every chance of loose talks from either side and that may hamper the smooth process of marriage which is going to be held. And some boys and girls are smart enough to over ride the freedom given to them and even indulge in physical relations during that period which is very danger if the alliance breaks up.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #575071
    Nowadays society has become more complex. Now, males and females marry at a more mature age. They are much more educated. In many cases, the prospective brides are working. So,it is always better to have one-to-one interaction between prospective brides and prospective grooms without the interruption of elders to enable them to understand each other and to know each others' hopes and aspirations and also expectations from their partners.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #575112
    I would support the one to one understanding between the would be couples before marriage. A few responses above seem to have come out as nostalgic feelings about the good old system of arranged marriages. It should be noted that the life back then was not as complex as it is now. The level of education has improved, so has the maturity.

    One of the most improper conclusions we reach when discussing such issues is that most of us ( as a couple of above responses reflect) believe that the couples during the bygone era lived happily together. That isn't the exact case. Incompatibility existed even then. I know of many couples who have grown incompatible. But, the social stigma associated with divorce prevented the marriage from breaking down. The couples kept suffering inspite of having differences.

    The situation has changed now. Having a better understanding of the person with whom you are going to share your entire life is foremost important. You will have your own theories when having a close friend, then isn't it expected to want the same kind of comradery with the person you are sharing your life with?

    Live....and Let Live...!

  • #575134
    These days, arranged marriages are reducing gradually. By arranged marriages, I mean the marriages without knowing each other's qualities, likes, dislikes etc,. But now a days, boys and girls are getting married after knowing about each other. As Mr. Timmappa Kamat said in his response, many couples didn't take a divorce even if they didn't like living together. Even after marrying the known persons, the divorce rate is increasing. There is nothing wrong to take a divorce if the spouse is intolerable but boys/girls shouldn't take a divorce for small issues. Anyways, marrying a known person reduces the chances of divorce significantly.

  • #575156
    It is immaterial whether partners know each other before marriage or after marriage. The real matter is how one accommodates other's lapses and incompleteness. How one fortifies with his/her support the weakness and vulnerabilities of the other. Before marriage or after each has to know each other and adjust and amend life into a common one with proper binding and fusion.
    Let us keep faith on ourselves and work sincerely, not leave everything to fate.

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