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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Lovers behavior in park

    Recently while I was walking in a park I saw lovers who were behaving very indecently. They were not bothered about the people around them and they seemed to be in their own world. But it looked so awkward for others in the park. Even though when an elderly man was sitting on a bench very close to their bench, they seemed careless.
    When the park guard asked them to leave the park, the boy started fighting with him. Parks are open for anyone but not to misuse. I think the park guard has all the rights to ask them to be decent or to leave the park as it disturbs other people and there is nothing to fight with him.
    Do you feel that the park guard was wrong and supposed to keep quite or do you support what he did?
  • #575830
    My view in this regard is different. Lovers do whatever they are supposed to do. We must avoid those places where the lovers enjoy each others company. After all they need privacy. Actually we must take care so that the children don't see the lovers (enjoying each others company) and ask uncomfortable questions to their parents.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #575836
    Sushma JI, when our people started foreign culture in their daily operations, they forget the etiquette totally. Especially lovers such behaviour is not only in parks but also in all public places are becoming common nowadays. In Chennai and Juhu beach such scenes are very common today. They are lovers okey and their freedom to love is there, okey but they should keep in mind about the etiquette and our culture. Such things are found not only in lovers but also recently married people and even in many couples I used to see that they are standing in the public places even in temples, by sticking one another or scaring one another with very interestingly by forgetting the public. In those days people lived their life with many children with collective people especially with proper manners and thereby we live presently with some good manners so that such things are worst to our eyes. Unless otherwise they themselves corrected it can not be corrected by others or any rules laid by government.

  • #575838
    This is happening only in the parks of urban areas where there is no proper housing for the people to enjoy their privacy in a small room where the whole family lives. According to my understanding, only the newly married couple get into the park and involve in such foul play forgetting the people around.

    What I suggest is - The authorities concerned should earmark a special park called 'LOVERS EVENING PARK. The security at the gate should permit entry only to the couples, not to singles or any spectators or onlookers. The couples would enjoy their own romance than looking at others romances.

    No life without Sun ¤

  • #575843
    Sometimes police constables also resort to moral policing and slap section 294 of IPC on the unsuspecting couples. The said section provides that any person indulging in any obscene act in any public place is punishable with imprisonment which may extend to three months, or with fine, or with both. However, the irony is that neither the term 'obscene' nor the term 'public place' is clearly defined in the law. It is left totally to the imagination of the police constable concerned. Sometimes this section is used to harass citizens and even blackmail them.

    There were reports about Mumbai police misusing the dreaded section 110 (public indecency) of the Bombay Police Act, 1951 which provides that -
    'no person shall wilfully and indecently expose his person in any street or public place or within sight of and in such manner as to be seen from, any street or public place, whether from within any house or building or not, or use indecent language or behave indecently or riotously or in an office station or station house'.

    Once the model Poonam Pandey was picked up by the police because her dress was too short.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #575861
    In Kerala, one of the police high officials has said," Anyone staring at a girl for more than 14 seconds is liable to be punished." So, the park is not a dangerous place but a safe haven for the lovers. But the roads and streets are dangerous to males who stares at a girl for 14 seconds. I do not understand what is this 14 seconds theory?
    No life without Sun ¤

  • #575881
    Lovers behavior in public parks are the hot topic to discuss as we the elders feel ashamed to see the gestures being made by the so called couples in front of the on lookers and that sends bad signals to others. In Hyderabad there is a new trend going on. For example the lovers of Hyderabad and old city would come to the Secunderabad park called Indira park and Sanjeeviah park and the Secunderabad lovers would go to Hyderabad side by choosing Golconda fort and Botanical garden park so that they cannot be watched nor detected by family members or friends. Nevertheless we are not concerned as to who is roaming with whom and we are also not concerned with their future. But we are surely concerned with their public behavior which must be under control. What is more astonishing is the fact that the park maintaining squad also wont object to such nasty scenes created by lovers and in fact they also enjoy those moments for free. May some good sense prevail on the lovers.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #575886
    All this talk about etiquettes and good manners, coming from those who do not hesitate to stare at 'lovers', is difficult to digest. Take your eyes off, if it upsets you – why does anyone want to continue looking at couples and their behaviour, if it upsets them. Look away. I would think a temple is a place where one goes to pray. Do that, instead of observing peoples' behaviour.

    The irony is that we criticise people easily, but turn a blind eye to our own behaviour. Staring at someone is also not good. Couples in love are in their own world – as for public places – I do not think they are private enough for them to behave obscenely. We should not set our own standards of obscenity, instead should understand what the law describes as obscene.

    People are mute spectators to women being groped and ogled at, in public places – they ignore the real unacceptable behaviour – they look away when it really matters. I wish more people would speak up and intervene when they notice sexual predators on the prowl in public places and give them a talk on the indecency of it all.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #575936
    #575886 (Ms. Juana) : A park is not only for lovers but for everyone. It is not decent to do personal things in public. Won't they have a room in their home? Suppose they are unmarried, are they supposed to do such things? If somebody posts a vulgar response in this thread, won't we all observe and report it? Its the same case in the park.

  • #575940
    Many people having voyeuristic instincts deliberately visit such areas to spot the loving birds either cuddling or crooning. Perhaps, they should avoid visiting such areas and leave the couple to themselves. Strangely enough, such self-proclaimed protagonists of the morals chicken out when they come across any case of women being subjected to sexual harassment in public by criminals and prefer to look the other way and pretend as if they have not seen anything.

    In almost all major cities, there are certain known parks/spots where the willing couple date for knowing each other more intimately. Such affairs were prevalent even in the past also though in a more secretive manner.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #575944
    #575936 : Public place is for all; it is for the young couple, old people and also for the children. Let all of us enjoy in the public place like park in our own way. Why should we give attention to others activities? Children must play, their guardians must enjoy the clean air and old people pass their time talking to one another in the park. Why should we bother about the affection being shown by the young couple to each other?
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #575952
    @ Krishna – Maybe I haven't visited enough public parks, to know the extent of 'vulgarism' on display. You might have more experience with that. What I see on the beaches of Chennai and secluded spots, within complexes that house historical structures, across the country, cannot be termed as indecent. Can two people from the opposite sex not sit close, holding hands or with their arms around each other? What if they are married or single – they are consenting adults – aren't they? We get perturbed by people in love holding hands but have nothing to say about those baring their private parts in public.

    What can be more personal than urinating! How many people has anyone here stopped from urinating in public? How many people have you stopped from urinating in public? We turn a blind eye to men unzipping themselves in public because it is assumed that those people can't hold on, till they get to a toilet. It's acceptable to do that, but a couple sits close and all hell breaks loose! It's nothing but hypocrisy. I am sorry, but the filth is in the mind.

    Please raise your voice to what I mentioned in my post above – sexual harassment of women in public places. It's rampant and happens everywhere. We need more voices to be raised to stop this harassment instead of keeping tabs on whether a couple is married or not or which part of the city they belong to.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #575958
    Last year in June 2015, the Government Railway Police of Agra division had sent 109 persons to jail for 24 hours after they were found urinating on the railway property. They were charged under Section 34 of the Police Act and were later released after paying a fine ranging from Rs 100 to Rs 500.

    The action of the Government Railway Police of Agra was unprecedented and was first of its kind in India.

    The author Juana has raised a very valid point in her response #575952 regarding the indecent act of men urinating at public places causing inconvenience and annoyance to the others.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #575959
    #575952 : I never said that sitting close, holding hands, keeping arms around each other are vulgar. Anyone won't raise a forum thread after seeing a girl and boy sitting close etc,. A thread like this one is raised by a senior member some days back. He too won't raise a thread if a boy and a girl are just sitting close etc,. And, will the security guard intervene if they are doing nothing other than sitting close and holding hands?

    Coming to the sexual harassment issue, nobody cares because of selfishness. It is a fact that everyone is selfish to some extent. So people will try to ignore. Even in this case (lovers in parks), nobody intervened except the security guard as its his duty. Nobody raised voice against it except the security guard and for that, the boy started fighting. Will any person start a fight for such a small issue? There are two chances. Either the lovers are wrong (or) the viewer of the incident, supporters of the viewer's view, security guard are wrong. Which is more likely?

  • #575965
    This thread should have been raised in a different way. "Why the public disturb the joyful lovers in a park?" It is a nuisance to the lovers who enjoy their life in a park. What else they can do except sitting close to each other with hands on shoulders, or rest their head on their laps. Park is the safe haven for the couples who have no private room in their accommodation. They prefer to come out in the evening to spend their time joyfully. The public should not care them but ignore them.
    No life without Sun ¤

  • #575968
    Well, all these hell breaking loose when we see lovers in each others company at the parts, and the so called public places is just because of the clash of culture. A land that can agree to the Khajuraho sculptures cannot see a couple sitting close together! Isn't that a little out of place?

    I agree being too personal in public places can be a concern and a reason for getting annoyed. But why the same logic for anyone who is getting a little intimate?

    Live....and Let Live...!

  • #575977
    @Krishna - What limits of decency can a couple cross, in a public park that is frequented by people, of all age groups? Can they do anything 'immoral' in full public view? If they were sitting in a secluded spot, hidden from public view then you possibly could convince me about their behaviour being indecent.

    We are not discussing senior members here – so bringing someone's old thread into the discussion is futile. Moreover, no one can speak on another member's behalf, because everyone's view of looking at things is different. The security guard's intervention is a matter that cannot be substantiated – why he did what he did. Maybe he had instructions to not allow couples to sit inside the park. Maybe, he took his job too seriously and thought moral policing was his right. Maybe, someone in the park alerted him and asked him to get rid of the couple. Who knows what happened there.

    You cannot draw a conclusion based on the 'most likely scenario'. If the couple was in the wrong do you think they would have risked fighting back? Their first reaction would have been to walk away. Sometimes one has to fight back, especially when one is not in the wrong. It would be cowardly to walk away quietly, just because another thinks they are on a morally higher ground.

    I think most public parks are notorious for nefarious activities. That to my knowledge is the general perception of the public. Why then do decent people go to these places? Would it be right to say that everyone visiting public parks is up to some illegal activity? Perhaps not! Two and two don't always add up to four. There is always another side to every story if we are only willing to lend an ear. We just tilt towards the one that matches our thinking. We see evil in things because we are tutored to do so even before we learn the true meaning of right and wrong. It's like a legacy we carry forward.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

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