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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    What is your reaction when you hear 'I do not want to disturb you' etc.,

    Myself and my wife were planning to go to a relative's house in Coimbatore. We were waiting inthe platform for the trains arrival. A couple who were by our side talking themselves something and in the middle, I happened to hear from the lady that,'We should not disturb them in the night ,so we will finish our dinner in some hotel and go'. The man also nodded his head. By hearing this I told to my wife, for this these people would have stay in some lodge rather than going to relative's houses. Then we board in the train on its arrival and it was so happened that couple were also near to us in the
    coach. I told my wife as if to hear by them that,'see, we will straightly go to mani's (my brother)house as he will be waiting for lunch with us, if we finish our lunch in outside this would be insult the relationship'. (really it is my thought always). By hearing this, they got paled in their faces and that lady told me that,'I hope you would have heard my words, because we do not want to disturb them int the night'. I replied,'No, aunty, if you are going to their house as relative they definitely waits for you and if have some commercial mind, your idea may be right and if you really do not want to disturb them, you should have stayed in some lodge and visit their house for a minute'. They kept quite for a while but immediately after a half an hour time, a call came in their mobile by asking them to wait in the station and they are bringing car for them. Their face got further paled.

    My view is if we are thinking them as relative really, they will also think alike.

    Similarly in one house we went, without wasting time, my wife went inside to help them in kitchen. The sister in law of their house told my wife,'No, No bobby, you will help today but who will do this work tomorrow, I only, you know, please let us do this work'. My wife got panic and came out to the hall calmly. I consoled her by saying some people like that.

    Many people do not know such basic etiquette . Please share your views.
  • #577194
    In my office, whenever any person (Govt. official or private person) says:"I don't intend to bother you" or similar things, I immediately understand that the person has come to bother me for at least 10 minutes.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #577195
    Normally people do not want to disturb at the odd hours. When I got married in 1992, I happened to visit my Sister in laws house at Cuddalore. We left at Chennai at 6 pm and I was told that it is three hours journey by bus. So we thought by 9 pm or 10 pm we shall be there in their house. In those days there was no mobile and our bus got delayed due to road laying work en route and thus we reached Cuddalore at 11 pm and by the time we reached their home, they were sleeping after finishing the dinner. But my sister in did manage to offer some food within half and hour and that was a bad experience in life.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #577202
    It primarily depends on the type of relationship we maintain. Yes, the relationships are like plants and require continuous efforts to nurture it and most important the relationships are maintained on a mutual or reciprocal basis. Earlier there used to be certain kinds professional relative who used to bully merely on the strength of the relationships. They used to demand attention and hospitality without doing anything in return.

    However, nowadays with the progress in the society, the things are gradually changing. People expect to be informed in advance so that they can make necessary arrangements. In case of real and genuine relationships, the question of disturbance never arises.

    I have myself received many guests at odd hours like 02.00 AM or 03.30 AM because they were dear to me and I felt a genuine happiness in welcoming them. On the other hand, I have preferred to stay in a hotel instead of visiting a relative's house with whom I didn't felt comfortable despite having a close relationship.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #577208
    Well, it really depends on from it is coming to me. In most cases, I will be trying to convince the person that I have much more potential to disturb and bore people, so s/he can relax. His whatever query or demand will be welcomed by me.

    But, there are some totally different kind of people around us whom we like to avoid for the betterment of them, us and everybody.. If such a dialogue comes to me from such a person, I would be reacting with a fake smile and saying "Please, you can", while I would not be wanting to even see that person around me for another minute. And in extreme cases, I would respond to a query like "I don't want to disturb you", by replying something like "Thank you for understanding that. Let's not meet again, then", with a broad smile on my face and a cunning, evil character laughing inside.

    This is just how human body and brain reacts to toxic agents. I would see that reaction as an action of our immune system.

    Regards,
    Ank Arya

    "Your value does not decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth"

  • #577223
    As the time passes, some people behaviours changes, tension is one of the reason behind the change in thinking and saying of the people, when somebody says that he/she don't want to disturb me or anybody then this kind of saying has also different meaning in different senses and we can distinguish them by the voice range of the opponent. Well I too have faced this words and when I hear them, the people who are saying me all these, he looks that time some tensed and I can surely understand that he was in tension and his voice range was also different, actually it seems that he was not wanting me to do that sort of thing. In some relationship we have to listen others words whether it is harsh or strong words to keep that relationship awake for years and years it doesn't matter whether we are wrong or right, the only thing which matter is the correctness of the time.
    live happily in every situation of life


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