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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why blame the parents always,especially the mother?

    Though these lines may not apply in everyone's life and many may disagree,it is a fact that if any mistake is committed by a child the parents are blamed.
    Be it a small ignorant child of two years , a girl child after marriage or a boy committing any blunder in his decisions in life, the following line is uttered "Ma baap ne yahi sikhaya tha kya? , I.e. Is this what your parents taught you?
    In many cases, the blame is totally laid on the mother alone. After reaching maturity and becoming an adult legally, a person is responsible for his or her decisions and mistakes together.

    Members, what are your views on the topic?
  • #577458
    The individuals become adult only after attaining the age of 18 years whereas they start learning from their parents particularly mothers immediately after birth. The way they are being taken care of by their mothers lays the foundation on which their personality develops later in their life.

    Educated mothers are supposed to be more sensitive to the needs of the children. However, many mothers irrespective of their educational level are often influenced by many prejudices, superstitions and illogical beliefs which get transferred to the children. Earlier, the parents used to be very cautious in ensuring that they are never spotted by their children in awkward positions so as misinterpret the same but nowadays the parents don't bother about such issues.

    Many fathers feel proud and sometimes instigate their children to retaliate physically in case so required or to bully others. Also, many parents themselves tell lies in the presence of their children and quarrel or show disrespect to each other.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #577461

    I would like to echo the same question in thread title again and again. In fact, I have been hearing this single line of dialogue from many mouths ever since I can remember; 'bachche ko Maa hi banaati hai aur Maa hi bigaadti hai'. It roughly translates into- 'It's only a mother who makes or breaks a child and his/her future'. I often wonder 'Why so?'.

    It has been the usual habit of society and its people that if a child is successful and doing well in his/her life, the father is given all the credit in child's success. But, if the child fails, people are always prepared to blame the mother. Their main excuse to blame the mother is that the father used to go for his job and it was a mother's responsibility to nurture and teach the child. However, that is just one truth, not the complete truth...

    Whatever a person becomes in life is the outcome of the guardianship of parents as well as the personal decisions of a him/her as a person. Many circumstances, situations, experiences, schooling and time spent will different kind of people can also matter a lot.

    Parents can only support and motivate the child to grow up and be prepared for what can come in future. Also, not all parents are alike. Some actually put no efforts in making up their child as a person, but the child really does well in life from the lessons learned from his experiences. There are also some parents who put a lot of efforts to support their child but the fate turns them down. What I feel is that parents can only be blamed for teaching us bad lessons (that they never did), not allowing us to study and grow (again, which they never did) and because they did not give us enough time (which may have happened because they were busy in earning some funds so they can secure 'our' future) . I often wonder, if that is all enough to put all the blames on parents or any one of our parent? I think it is just not enough.

    Specially, when we are talking about many parents, here, the same coin may have many sides that are unknown, unseen to us.

    As the child begins to attain some maturity, I think the child is somewhat on his/her own to make or break his/her life. S/he may make many mistakes at the age of 15, but may not repeat the same at 20. As he turns 25, he may become mature enough to understand he has to really make something of his life. I don't find what parents can do in this, except supporting, motivating and being there with their children throughout this time.

    Also, I can understand and count on many points where the parenting of parents is just not right. But, I do not wish to mention that here. Sometimes, parents are just too naive to understand that all their efforts of teaching their children goes in vain when they argue with each-other all the time and their volume becomes loud enough to hurt the ears and heart of the children. There are other things too, but this tendency in parents really affect the children and their overall psychological self. And all of us must agree that a children can never give his best in learning or doing anything if deep down s/he is so much depressed.

    I would like to appreciate Mr. Kumar's final paragraph in his response (#577458) where he talks about parents who lie a lot in front of their children. In fact, children who have such parents find it difficult to understand the duality of their parents. At one time, their parents teach them all good things and lessons, but then, they find their parents are lying so much about them and their children to others. Children's innocent mind is too unprepared to face it that any change that may come in their habits or behavior due to this may remain for lifelong. In such cases, it is the carelessness and naivety of parents to be blamed.


    Regards,
    Ank Arya

    "Your value does not decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth"

  • #577475
    Generally parents are responsible for children's upbringings. Even, at later stage, the influence of society and friends also depends on the overall influence of the parents. I mean that parents influence plays a major role in teen-agers' choice of friends and life-style.
    So, for any misdeeds of any person, his/her parents will definitely be brought into picture. However, it is definitely unfair to blame mother only. Both father and mother are equally responsible.

    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #577511
    Actually many people finds the girl gender very casually and they always want to have strong impression on them and that's why people bully them and whereas about why only mother gets the blame, I think it is because the mother love his/her child the most than the father and which makes other to have jealousy on mother the most. It is also true that, many mother are the reason for the misbehaviour of the child because the mother are the one who hide their child when they do mistakes.
    live happily in every situation of life

  • #577549
    There is a Tamil saying,'Thaayai pOla pillai, noolaipOla selai - which means the son is similar to mother and the sari is similar to the thread'. Every single action of a child is because of the parents and not from others. If from others the parents should control. In one Tamil cinema, a man hold his son on his shoulder on the road and the son from the top took a bunch of bananas from the vendor's basket who goes by their side. On alighting the father asked the son how he got the bananas. The son told the way he lifted. Father appreciated his action and later the son became a big thief in the city. On his caught once he explained before the Judge, that the sole reason for his such action is his father as he appreciated his first theft.

  • #577561
    For every good or bad behavior of child in the public or against any person , it always reflects about the way the parents especially the mother who nurtured the child. Suppose if a child behaves nicely in a party and every one would appreciate the child and also the mother. Same way if a child makes lots of mess in others house and the mother wont take the child, surely the mother would be blamed for not nurturing the child properly. Normally first child is pampered to lot extent and that is taken as the weakness by the child and does all nuances which can be tolerated by the parents but not by others.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday


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