| Author: Ramkumar 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Platinum | Rating:  Points: 2 |
This is just a initiative with few points, Members please share your views and take part in this discussion.
Regards,
Ram...
regards,
Ramkumar,
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| Author: vinod 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 3 |
hi,
its a nice thread to have a good discussion.
there is no guaranty to say that love marriages leads to a happy married life, it depends on there respective individual character and attitude. but the only advantage is each of them know about their life partner feelings, ideas every thing and they only will be the responsible for every thing either for good or bad.
either in arranged or love marriage the mutual co-operation and understanding of the individual feelings leads to a happy married life.
Regards,
Vinod.
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| Author: Saranya 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 6 |
Hi,
I would like to prefer arranged marriage rather than love marriage.
An arranged-love marriage, that is loving after engagement is always better and healthy one.
I think the time between engagement and marriage is more enough to understand themselves to lead a happy life.
This love will be a long-lasting one.
Arranged marriage have many advantages.
As our parents select our life partner, that will be a blessed one.
No any parents give a wrong companion to their daughter/son.
In each and everything, our parents give the one, which suits us in the best.
Then while choosing a partner for us, they never fail to choose a best one.
In future, after marriage, if there is any problem, our parents will guide us to solve them.
We cant expect all these in love marriage.
Love marriage is more painful and have many problems.
It mainly affects the parents, who took care of us from the childhood till we get a job and settle in life.
Thus arranged marriage is always more and more healthy when comparing with love marriage.
Regards,
Saranya...
Best Regards,
Saranya...
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| Author: Ramkumar 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Platinum | Rating: Points: 2 |
Saranya,
It wont take a lot of time for a Boy or girl to show him as of with good character to your parents, Is it possible for your parents to watch him/her for some days and can they able to judge.
I agree with your points, but what do you think of loving someone and getting married with Parents permission and Blessings.
You can get all you mentioned above in this too, Am i right Saranya?
Regards,
Ram...
regards,
Ramkumar,
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| Author: ramakrishna 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 3 |
i would suggest only arranged marriages explicity for indians. In the arranged is reposiblity of the parents so they will chose the right boy/girl based the parents background and what is the position in the socity .
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| Author: sac 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 6 |
Hi all,
good discussion ...wanna to add some more points
Arranged marriages offer more protection, security to the women.As the parents decides the family and make use of maturity and wise decision.But it doesn't mean that arranged marriages are ideal marriages.
Love marriages offer more independence and freedom.If you know somebody before marriage it allows to have better respect and understanding for each other's needs and desires.
Love or arranged both is based on responsibility, commitment, love and concern.
Decide yourself for which one you want to go but i will choose love marriage.
-Sac
Regards,
Sac
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| Author: Vedha 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 2 |
Our society is so deeply rooted in the arranged marriage concept, so life will not be very easy for couples who marry out of love.
And, personally,love marriage is a much better option, we can get to know our partner well before the marriage. But I think it will be difficult for the girl to adjust to the cultural differences between her home and her in-laws family as living habits in different castes/religions are entirely different in our society.
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| Author: Vidya 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 2 |
I prefer both.
Each has its own merits and demerits.
In arranged marriage, yya most probably it select our parents or relatives.So they are always with us.we feel more security, but we cant say that all the arranged marraiges ends in happy and piece ful life.
In love marriage, partners share their attitude and understand each other.This wil also happen in arraged marriage. We should think the point here is that share ur correct information and attitudes with partners. Sometimes partners donot bothered about that.just dreaming a lot. and only after marriage realizing the normal life and started quarreling.
Both love and arrange marriage one thing is very important "Understanding each other and share love" nothing will split them.
Regards Vidya
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| Author: Vidya 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 6 |
I prefer both.
Each has its own merits and demerits.
In arranged marriage, yya most probably it select our parents or relatives.So they are always with us.we feel more security, but we cant say that all the arranged marraiges ends in happy and piece ful life.
In love marriage, partners share their attitude and understand each other.This wil also happen in arraged marriage. We should think the point here is that share ur correct information and attitudes with partners. Sometimes partners donot bothered about that.just dreaming a lot. and only after marriage realizing the normal life and started quarreling.
Both love and arrange marriage one thing is very important "Understanding each other and share love" nothing will split them.
Regards Vidya
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| Author: Ramkumar 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Platinum | Rating: Points: 2 |
Well said Vidhya,
Understanding is must between partners, Even a small misunderstandings between the partners can create a lot of problems in their Marriage Life.
Regards,
Ram...
regards,
Ramkumar,
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| Author: Kenny 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 6 |
Without love no marriage can be successful. That is the core of it. However in love before marriage, i do not think how much of real love is present apart from all the pretention, is present. True love, that is fine. When the couples face the hard realities of life, if it is true love there will be adjustments and the same amount of love will prevail. If it was not the real love marriages will split apart.
The arranged marriage is also in the same way has its own problems. If the marrige is done on the basis of some other wrong motives like ( money, beauty,fame) it will not last long. I do not say that you should not consider it. But that should not be the prime motive.
So, "love marriage" or "arranged marriage" does not mean anything. "Marriage" is the thing that matters.
In life it will be tested many times to check the the true worth of your Love, there one should proof, "I love the other more than l love myself"
There can be many testing furneses waiting for all.
Financial Crisis
Accidents and disablites
Un able to tolarate the other
Anger
Ego
and add as you face others....
So, to conclude, Marriage is what matters. not how you got married.
( Me : happily in married life for past 2 years with one kid.
Mine : it was an arranged marriage ! )
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| Author: Ramkumar 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Platinum | Rating: Points: 2 |
Kenny,
Excellent writeup, your each and every point shows your experience in your Marriage life.
As per my view many lovers are showing their fake characters to their lovers and there are many things other than beauty,Money,their status, like Good Behaviour, Character, Feelings. but how many Lovers are falling in love with these qualities.
These lovers cant lead their life happy, as they wanna get ready to see their original faces within few days after getting married and its very hard and painful to see such changes from our lovers within some days after Marriage.
Regards,
Ram...
regards,
Ramkumar,
Senior Editor & Adsense Guidance Mentor - Indiastudychannel.com.
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| Author: Nisar 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 2 |
my oppeinion is love marriage is best
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| Author: Nisar 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 1 |
that good
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| Author: Vellamji 04 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 6 |
i feel arrange marriage is good.but i was somebody who use to think love marriages are better like that.
love marriages are ofcourse romancing and entertaining in the begining.couples,when they are in courtship,never look at the negative sides or qualities of the opposite party and take everything in positive and proceed to share their life.but after the marriage,they find faults in each other and find it difficult to assimilate and adjust.they tend to compare how he/she treated before marriage and now how they are treated espescially when there is a change in their attitude.i mean,there are some exceptions ok..so i personally feel,arrange marriage well decided and accepted by parents are better and safer too!
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| Author: neyha 05 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 6 |
Love marriage as lot of disadvantages,there are lot of people who have regretted taking this decision.It is not always that the partners are truthful to each other, they tend to pretend so that the person they like also likes them.Most of the time ,what they would be experiencing would be only mild attraction and not true love and attraction alone wont help in an happy marriage.On the other hand in arranged marriage you get married to a total stranger that can be even more disastrous at times.The best option in arranged marriage is not to get married immedietly but wait for some time and analyse the character of your partner.In love marriage it is better for the person to find out how their partner behave in their absence before entering into marriage.
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| Author: ramakrishna 05 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 2 |
marriage is a beautiful relationship no matter how it happens.
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| Author: Pournami 05 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 2 |
What ever may be- love marriage or arranged marriage the success depends upon the understanding between the partners. Understanding each other and respecting other's view.
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| Author: Girish Patil 06 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Platinum | Rating: Points: 2 |
Love marriages are best because there is mutual understanding between both of them.
Regards
Girish Patil
School Editor ISC Team
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| Author: srinivas 10 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 2 |
Love cum Arrange is good practice for both lover and parents..
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| Author: prakash 10 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 6 |
hi all, i would prefer arranged marriage because i'll narate my personal experience my parents are love each other and married. now my father starts to show his real characters always scolding and hesitating my mom. for simple things he quarrel with her and talk unnecessary words so that we got affected .so the best one is arranged marriage and the other hand love marriage is not secure and safe in all cases .
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| Author: Pavi 10 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Bronze | Rating: Points: 2 |
Hey this all depends on God which one will be succeeded coz love is God and Marriages are made in heaven so May be love cum arrange marriage is a better Idea..
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| Author: Raghav 11 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 2 |
I agree with Saranya.
raghav
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| Author: Magic 12 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 2 |
I believe in LOVE marriage.
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| Author: Asma S Patel 12 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 2 |
Ram good topic to be discussed...
I would also like to add few of my experienced material..
I have done love marriage but even after 6months of affair and 1.5years of marriage I find few things strange and new with my husband. We can never judge or say that love marriages are more successful or arrange marriage because it all depends on the two people who tie in a relationship with or without their consent.
Any marriage is most successful only if there is understanding,love and moreover the most important thing that is TRUST in your partner. If there is a masala of fights and friendship within the two there should not be nay problems as such.
That is true that many a times Love marriages dont last for a long time and that is because after marriage we start blaming each other for every single thing we dont respect each other as we should, specially girls tend to forget that earlier he was only a boyfriend but now he is a husband a son-in-law etc and he has many such responsibilities and roles to be played than before.
I would like to share one fundA which i learnt from my Teachers and Principal in School and that is..
"KEEP YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN BEFORE MARRIAGE WHEN YOUR SEARCHING FOR A PARTNER BUT AFTER MARRIAGE CLOSE ONE EYE AND KEEP THE SECOND EYE SLIGHTLY OPEN AND ACCEPT ALL THAT YOU CAN SEE BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR FUTURE YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT"
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| Author: syed 15 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 2 |
Marriages are made in heaven some time it's happened wrongly or perfectly with or without the help of love, but always i prefer love cum arranged marriage
“ Make them Feel that they have missed you, Make your Life in such a way that every one need’s to be With You – Saleem “
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| Author: amit 20 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 2 |
Both are good but in their own ways..and both have their disadvantages too.
for example in love marriage you love your life partner before marriage .both of you share a special bonding which is always helpful in long run but then there's a problem too. when you are in love you forget about almost everything and the problem occurs during adjusting with families of each other as during marriage you don't only get related to your partner but a whole new relations are made. and the problem is mostly because of today's generation attitude as they say " we loved each other and nobody else ,why should we adjust ?" i said this because my friend' brother ,who did love marriage, seperated from family just after one month.
However in arrange marriage there's adjustment at the beginning itself and there's rarely a problem of such sort.
so I'll conclude both are good in their own ways depending on how much effort we put to make our marriage better...
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| Author: amit 20 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 2 |
Both are good but in their own ways..and both have their disadvantages too.
for example in love marriage you love your life partner before marriage .both of you share a special bonding which is always helpful in long run but then there's a problem too. when you are in love you forget about almost everything and the problem occurs during adjusting with families of each other as during marriage you don't only get related to your partner but a whole new relations are made. and the problem is mostly because of today's generation attitude as they say " we loved each other and nobody else ,why should we adjust ?" i said this because my friend' brother ,who did love marriage, seperated from family just after one month.
However in arrange marriage there's adjustment at the beginning itself and there's rarely a problem of such sort.
so I'll conclude both are good in their own ways depending on how much effort we put to make our marriage better...
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| Author: S.Yamininagarajan 20 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 2 |
I Prefer only Arranged marriage
Arrange Marriage has many advantages
1)We can love after engagement that relationship is very close
2)Parents will support if any problems occur
3)So many members for us
4)we can share before marriage with our wouldbe
5)then we will get nice guy in arranged marriage
6) accepted by our parents means it is very positive for us
in love marriage in my view
i will not accept love marriage, parents are giving and doing everything to her children, they can know when they want to select the person for her children,so they will select right and good person for us
REGARDS
S.YAMININAGARAJAN
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| Author: vijaya kumar 20 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 2 |
My suggestion is instead of loving before marriage its better to love after marriage.
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| Author: Raghav 20 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 2 |
I also agree with Saranya
The Love after engagement would be better. And even if it is a love marriage, the couple should convince the parents and with their permission only they should proceed for marriage. Because our parents have taken lot of care to bring us upto this level, and we should never neglect our parents. With their permissions, even love marriage can happen. this is my opinion.
raghav
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| Author: sir rob 27 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 6 |
there is no gauge which is better between the 2, i believe. at best (in india for example), it is greatly affected by religion and traditions. if i have to deal deeper in that portion, i possibly could create an argument/s and i don't want that to happen yet, it has salient points to consider.
most of the post has it's own edge basing on there OWN story.. i repeat, "based on it's OWN story". what i meant is, are we going to establish a relationship basing upon someone else's opinion and experience? i won't disagree that parents desire nothing but the best for their children. the only question that i had is, would the best in them (parents) be the same definition for you or for us? having a good and strong foundation for every relationship matters a lot as to how long would it last. respect and trust for each other starts that foundation and that entails knowing someone more and far better before marriage perhaps has higher percentage of success. but again i always remember these few lines in one of my compositions;
"the journey of life is full of complications,
we sail without any knowledge of our destinations
and no one knows where it would take us."
despite all of those, i still believe that things happened for a reason though sometimes those reason/s are hard to understand.
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| Author: Raghav 27 Jun 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 6 |
Hey Prakash,
Just because your father scolds your mother, don't say that love marriage is not good. That cannot be the reason to say that love marriage is not good. Even in arranged marriages, husband scolds wife? am I correct or not. So you can give some other reason to say that arranged marriage is better than love marriage. I just wanted to correct you. Anyway everything depends on our fate also. What ever is written in our fate by God, that only will happen.
raghav
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| Author: Miloni Modi 04 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 6 |
Hey Prakash I agree with Raghav.Its all depends on man's nature and not whether they had love marriage or arranged marriage.
I believe love marriage or arranged marriage both is fine in their places because LOVE is the main alignment in marriage life. It doesn't matter whether Love is before marriage or after marriage.
I believe that for successful marriage life wheatear love or arranged respect, love and affection should be there for each other as this 3 things will help lot to face huddles and problem faced in your future life.
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| Author: sachin 04 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 2 |
I also thinks that love marrige is good for both couples .
Because they know every thing about him.
Regards,
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| Author: Anuradha 06 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 4 |
I think Love marriage is best because they will b knowing each other since long time.. They can share there thoughts and will hav a mutual understanding between them, if there are any disputes after marriage they can solve easily as they know each other very well...
where as in arranged marriages it takes time for the couples to understand each other ...
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| Author: cv ryn 06 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating:  Points: 0 |
Love or arranged marriages is still a debatable topic in the Indian society. People still debate on the issue, which one is better. What should be the basis of the marriage love or social norms? We are still confused about these issues. Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of the Indian mind. As people started thinking beyond the social customs and traditions of arranged marriages. They realized that they have the right to choose their life partner without any kind of social pressure. It is after all their life. They can decide without having to rely on parents, relatives and matchmakers. This change in the mental set up of the people gave birth to love marriages. Now in India people are open to love marriages. It is no more forbidden in the society. In our country we are having both love and arranged marriages. If we start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros and cons. But the common factor in both the concept is physical attraction. When a man and a woman go out on their first date physical attraction is the deciding factor. Same in case of arranged marriage where the relation starts only after the girl or boy likes each other. But there are certain things, which are found in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together and getting to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend the life together it is important you know the person. There should be metal compatibility and understanding among both of you. And this happens when you spend time together. On this people may argue that even after knowing each other for so long than why people get divorced after marriage. It is because when two people are in love they are at their best to impress each other. They behave, they talk and they wear what the other person likes. But it is after marriage that you get to know the real person. There are couples who are still discovering each other even after twenty years of their marriage. This is the actual beauty of a relationship where everyday you discover a new thing about your partner.
In case of arranged marriages the relation starts when the girl and the boy get to know each other in a couple of meeting before the final commitment. Before deciding anything the parents check the family background and financial stability. Which is also very important. As most of the people have an idea that those who go for arranged marriages are not in an advantageous position but it's not so you may get the right person for whom you have been waiting. Even in love marriages after many years of courtship people find their partner not suitable and they break up. So it is not about spending time together but successful marriage is all about understanding and respecting each other's feelings, love and concern. It is argued that love marriages offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages since both of them knows each other so the social pressure and family pressure is less. If you know somebody before marriage it allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each other's needs and desires. In love marriages expectations are more compared to arrange marriages, as they know each other and want their partner to act in the best possible manner.
Arranged marriages, offer more protection, security to the women. As the parents decides the family. Parents make use of maturity and wise decision while choosing suitable spouses for their children. The mature decision of parents sometimes helps to make the right choice. But it doesn't mean that arranged marriages are ideal marriages. Even in an arranged marriage there is a different sort of social pressure. Social evils like dowry, caste system, matching of horoscopes and community issues are taken at such extreme levels that people don't support arranged marriages. So whether it is love or arranged ultimately it is up to the individual to decide, which one to go for. Love or arranged both is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. So it's not just about initial love and attraction it needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain a marriage. So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it's all about the way you perceive your marriage. After all you should be happy with your life partner irrespective of love or arranged marriage.
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| Author: Raghav 06 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 4 |
I agree with Anuradha,
Love marriage is best as they will themselves solve their problems. But some times arranged marriages are also good because the parents will take the total responsibility if any problem arises.
raghav
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| Author: Latha Jayaprakash 10 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 6 |
Love Marriage and an Arranged marriage, I have seen both types. Mine was an arranged one and my sisters' was a love marriage. Both are flourishing till now.
The fact is that one should understand the partner first or try to understand the partner first. Mostly everyone takes the partner for granted.
Once the marriage is over, both bride and the groom get the security they need. First for some days they try to keep quiet without showing their true colours.
Their temper is not known till one starts the day to day life.
Irritable temper kills the marriage from the start itself. If at least one of the two have a bit of patience it will pull through.
So when parents look for a groom or a bride for their kid, they know what to look for. Mental adjustment is a big factor.
But what happens in the love marriages, they spend time at the parks and movie theatres, where they do not get time to understand each other.
Even after engagement in the arranged marriage the same thing happens. In our days we got married without meeting each other.
so from the day one we were trying to adjust to the other and prepared to do that.
I can continue about this non stop but I'll come back later.
Regards
Latha Jayaprakash
Editor - My India & Business category & Recipes
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| Author: RamyaKrish 10 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 6 |
'Marriages are made in heaven' goes a famous saying. Love marriage or arranged marriage, everything depends on how carefully the decision is made. Many say don’t marry without knowing every single detail about the person and in case of love marriage one should be extra careful especially as everyone will say it was your choice that was bad if things go wrong but if its going to be an arranged people come to your rescue at least. So whatever be it choose wisely because it will prevent you from repenting later.
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| Author: Savitha 10 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Gold | Rating: Points: 6 |
There is a saying that Marriages are decided in heaven.In what way the marriage is done, all are to lead a happy life.Mutual understanding between two hearts only gives that marriage a succesfull life.Marriage is composed of affection, care,understanding, adjustable etc.All the arranged or love marriage is not successful.Each has its own disadvantages and advantages.Because of some love marriage (not knowing what is love) failure we cannot consider the total as bad one and the vice vera for arranged marriage.
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| Author: Ankush Das 10 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Platinum | Rating: Points: 6 |
Love Marriage v/s Arranged Marriage.
Hmmm...Someone might call it the clash of the titans in this modern world. This is a hotly debated topic and attracts a lot of attention.
Well, I think I would prefer love marriage though I am not really for or against any one of them because both of them have their own pros and cons with them. I prefer love marriage because you know your life partner very well in this case and the understanding and communication is absolutely no problem. Though you can gradually make it happen with arranged marriage also but it doesn't always bear fruits. After an arranged marriage, there might be clashes of egos and this happens quite often, though with love marriage this is a rarity.
But all's not good in love marriage. When your life partner might discuss about your past relationships, it might be difficult to digest it and there might be a quarrel picked which might lead to disastrous consequences.
IT IS ACTUALLY QUITE RELATIVE AND IT DEPENDS. ANY MARRIAGE CAN BE WORKED OUT QUITE EASILY WHEN YOU HELP YOUR LIFE PARTNER AND UNDERSTAND HIS/HER FEELINGS.
Regards,
Ankush Das
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| Author: Lenin 10 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 6 |
Arranged Marriage is the best.But in the view to eradicate the caste and dowry system, love marriage is the best option.But before loving fill in your purse guys, because after some time your purse balance will be out of standing ; but your credit card balance will be outstanding.Think before you leap.Just it has become a fashion in this century about Love marriage .If someone is not having boy friend or girlfriend, they are thinking they will loose the prestige.Nothing like that. Some are loving for entertainment.Nothing goes wrong when opt for arranged marriage.
Love marriage or arranged marriage ...it will be GOOD when the satan of MISUNDERSTANDING does not enter.
Regards,
Lenin
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| Author: Latha Jayaprakash 11 Jul 2008 | Member Level: Diamond | Rating: Points: 6 |
Nowadays I find most of the youngsters do not have time for each other due to the shifts and changing office hours etc.
I can see some husbands doing night shifts when the wives are at home alone.
This will affect the understandinng between the couple and the stress of being alone when thespouse goes to work is more. That too it ios more when the wives go to work and the husbands sleep the day off after night shifts.
Problems like this create friction whether it is a love marriage or an arranged one. This seems a very big problem for me nowadays. They do not have enough time to understand each other.
Regards
Latha Jayaprakash
Editor - My India & Business category & Recipes
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| Author: Ajai Balaji 28 Sep 2008 | Member Level: Silver | Rating: Points: 0 |
Love marriage is best
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