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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Learnt about eve-teasing. What about adam-teasing?

    Eve-teasing is a shameful and dastardly act. Unchecked eve-teasing causes more serious crimes. We can see literature, materials, articles, discussions on this ill of the society, which must be dealt with very firmly- there is absolutely no doubt about it.

    Now I have been reading as well as noticing a problem which is totally opposite. I have heard and read that some women try to attract unsuspecting males. Middle-aged widows try to entice younger males, woman bosses sexually blackmail younger subordinate staff and more alarmingly, female teachers sometime entice young students. Fortunately, this teacher-student relationship has not been reported so far in India, but such incidences are well-known in the USA, the UK, Australia and even in New Zealand. Because of so-called 'macho' image of males, such incidents are put under the carpet everywhere in the world, sometime causing depression and suicide of the affected males.

    Now time has come to discuss this increasing phenomenon of 'adam-teasing'.
  • #578568
    I would like to begin by correcting your statement –"Fortunately, this teacher-student relationship has not been reported so far in India…" This phenomenon is not restricted to the western world. It is happening in our own backyard. Here are a few reported incidents that can be found through Google search -

    1. A school teacher from Tirunelveli district eloped with a 16-year-old student
    2. A married teacher with a child of her own eloped with a student
    3. A Mumbai-based teacher was found in Bengaluru, with her 14-year-old 'boyfriend'

    The occurrences that you have highlighted are not cases of 'adam-teasing' they are more on the lines of sexual harassment. Asking for sexual favours and/or using one's post to obtain sexual favours, is a crime.

    It is true that males are as vulnerable to sexual predators as women are. A point I'd like to add here is that the predators might not necessarily be women. Males are also propositioned by other males at their workplace, in schools and in society.

    This 'macho' tag is similar to what women victims of sexual offences underwent in the name of 'izzat' (honour).

    This is a 'delicate' issue that our society is perhaps not ready to address, which is why such crimes go unreported. It will take a sea of change before men get the courage to come out and speak. More than men, society will need to change the way it looks at males – only then will this problem come up for discussion on different platforms. Males might be physically strong, but they remain vulnerable.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #578571
    #578568: After reading the response of Mrs. Juana, I am totally distraught! I never had any idea that such relationship exists in India also!
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #578573
    Initially, different cultures, civilizations and societies got developed in the different parts of the world independently totally aloof from rest of the world as there were no means of instant communication like what we have today in the form of internet and telecommunication.

    Because of such reasons, there are differences in the cultures. Conventionally, in India, in the normal course, sex is understood only as a means of procreation and everything outside the pious wedlock is regarded as a taboo. Such a culture has resulted in a society with pent up sexual frustrations in absence of any outlet for release which sometimes leads to situations like eloping with a partner etc.

    The phrase 'Adam teasing' may not sound appropriate to hear but the fact remains that it exists in all societies. Adams are rather more vulnerable and many of them get exploited also in the process. The heinous crimes like acid throwing, rapes, organ mutilation can also be said to be an outcome of such instances which begin with an enchanting innocent smile.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #578576
    Eve teasing is different from sexual harrassment. What you talk now is sexual harassment by ladies and widows. Eve teasing is a fun and entertainment for the youngsters with less seriousness. There are also Adam teasers in our society and is not taken very seriously.
    No life without Sun ¤

  • #578587
    The 'teasing' may have different forms and not necessarily be restricted to whistling or using objectionable language.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #578612
    In a response to other thread I raised the same point that now a days Adam teasing are also prevalent as few girls when they join in group make rave comments on boys if caught in single and thus the boy would be teased to a most shameful situation and the problem is that he cannot complain this to any one nor the law takes his complaint seriously. I know some chulbuli girls are on the prowl to have fun on the boys when they are seen in singles but unlike girls, the boys take the Adam teasing as easy and they wont even report to their friends. But how to check this menace ?
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #578616
    As the society advances, these kind of incidences become more common specially in urban areas. There is less chance of such incidents in rural because most of the women remain confined to their home.

    Any powerful female who has a higher status in society can be equally dangerous to young men like a powerful man. As far as teasing is concerned, it is mostly done my young people in schools and colleges. Most of the mature people don't get involved in teasing their opposite gender in public.

  • #578622
    Well teasing has not one meaning it can be different in different cases, eve teasing are those which are done on female gender and adam teasing are done on male gender. In both cases crime happens, well I have only heard about the middle aged women who done teasing on young boys as they are attracted to the younger generation by their physics, and there are also some man who does teasing on small male child, I have seen in news channels. and it is very sad to say that after knowing also we don't do anything and as a result in some cases suicide happens.
    live happily in every situation of life

  • #578628
    [Response removed by Admin. Read forum policies.]
    Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad - Miles Kington.

  • #578629
    Incidentally, in the main criminal law of India, the Indian Penal Code (IPC), the term eve-teasing appears nowhere. In India only the state of Tamil Nadu, a law known as the Tamil Nadu Prohibition of Eve-Teasing Act, 1998 was enacted in which the word eve-teasing is appearing. The position and recognition of the term Adam-teasing can be gauged from the said example.
    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #578630
    #578628: Mr. Ganesh, I have not posted any query on Adam or Eve as well as on teasing! I am disheartened that you are confusing the 'one and only Partha of ISC' with others!
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #578631
    Is it ethical to divulge the name of members who post their query anonymously?
    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #578632
    #578631: Mrs. Juana, I have not even posted any query anonymously. However, I do agree that anonymity must be respected.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #578633
    This is worse.

    The question in the ‘Ask Expert’ section is not posted by Partha. Surely some diligence should have been adopted - especially when the member was being addressed by name.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #578636
    As far as I understand the members act as authors of ISC i.e. as an ISCians and not as an individual. Therefore, they can contribute in all sections, even on the same subject matter in the overall interest of the website ISC i.e. to create awareness, spread information of educational value and even light-hearted material which is likely to attract traffic on the website. The members, particularly the regular one, may perhaps not be expected to raise questions/threads merely for clearing their personal doubts. One of the elements of the response #578628 of Lead Editor Saji Ganesh appears to be to point out that the author of this thread has raised a similar matter in two different sections of the ISC. It is a different story that it was not so.
    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #578641
    The discussion was going on in this thread in a right direction. Then Mr. Ganesh 'butted in' (I am borrowing his own language used against me in another thread) with a totally irrelevant response. Would the ISC administration award some negative points to Mr. Ganesh for his irrelevant response?
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #578681
    Let us resume discussion on the issue/problem mentioned in this thread. Members may kindly express their valuable opinion on the ways to stop or control 'adam-teasing' in India.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #578683
    Teasing in any form is wrong - be it Eve-teasing, Adam-teasing or normal teasing. However, the God-given natural attraction between the opposite genders will always be there because the survival of the human species depends on that.

    The emerging trend to delay marriages and procreation by educated working couples may be taken as an indicator that the prevalence of gender-teasing is diminishing. The bitter fact remains that the incompetent, uneducated and unemployed persons find more time in indulging in such activities.

    Therefore, it appears that the development of the country as a whole is likely to lessen the instances of Adam-teasing.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #578735
    #578630. Partha, my mistake and I am sorry. There was some confusion. I have requested the admin to reject my response and award me minus points.

    #578631, Juana, it is not at all ethical to do so and no one did so. Great support there!

    Let's leave it at that and carry on with the main thread. Sorry for the diversion.

    Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad - Miles Kington.

  • #578737
    #578735 - Saji, yes that was subsequently established, but my post was in response to yours wherein an anonymous post was attributed to Partha. I do not know the behind the scenes working of ISC and what information you, as an editor, are privy to. However, given the scenario your conduct was questionable, which made me question it. Glad to know that ethics were maintained.
    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #578740
    Let bygones be bygones. Mr. Ganesh, if you want to respond on the subject-matter, kindly do so.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #578826
    Having been a party to the diversion, I think I need to bring this thread back to track now. Coming to the topic under discussion, whether it is Eve teasing or Adam teasing, I have always felt that it is a minor version of mob mentality. Not that everyone does it but even those who does it are not really serious about the same. Their idea is not to insult or provoke another but just to enjoy (?) when in a particular group. I am not saying that there have not been instances where limits have been crossed and have led to serious issues as an aftermath. There may be some in a group who have distorted minds and they may take advantage of a disadvantageous situation.The author has actually touched upon two different areas which may find a common point but I don't think sexual offences or even overtures can be directly related to such teasing but as in any case one need to put the stop when required lest more serious crimes occur. This topic is very delicate and deep as Juana has suggested and so one need to be logical, judicious and fair while dealing with it.
    Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad - Miles Kington.

  • #578832
    I think popular cinema has also contributed to the spread of instances of eve-teasing and Adam teasing. Often in the movies, it is portrayed as the flirtatious way of starting a courtship. The hero teases the heroine in the beginning by singing some song or indulging in dance sequences and at the end the heroine yields to the heroes advances. The alternate depiction is that the hero intervenes and saves the heroine while being teased by the villainous characters and thus wins her heart. The youths later try to enact similar scene or at least use the lyrics for teasing the girls. In some modern and bold cinema, Adam teasing is also depicted.

    Only such teasing is called eve-teasing or Adam teasing and the normal innocuous and affectionate teasing between cousins and even real brothers and sisters don't come under such categories.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #578839
    Thanks, Mr. Saji Ganesh for your response. Recently I have heard that a young man committed suicide at Noida, Uttar Pradesh due to continuous harassment from his woman boss with sexual overtone. He could not share the matter with others, even with his male colleagues. So, it is found that males are also vulnerable from teasing from opposite sex.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

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