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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Marriage expenses must be shared by both sides

    Now a days conducting a marriage in a hall has become a costly affair and when there are too many Muhurats in a month, getting a functional hall for this purpose become more challenging and many have to forced to chose the halls at other places and bear the cost of transporting the invitees to the venue. Given this kind of situation it would be too much burden on the head of the Bride parents with extra expenditure. Why not both bride and groom side parents agree for a mutual hall for both marriage and reception and bear the expenses jointly. This would be new thinking and many may not like it. But you share your views.
  • #578835
    As a matter of fact, I adopted this practice during the wedding of my own daughter in march this year only. It was a decision of the boy and girl themselves and I had to comply with the instructions. Being a typical Indian, initially, I was feeling very uncomfortable and awkward but since there was no other option available, I had to yield to their wishes. Since it was to be organised at Noida instead of my hometown Lucknow, the father of the boy who is now my 'sambandhi' helped me a lot in arranging everything. The system had many added advantages as everything was as per their own tastes and likings.

    However, I would like to add that whether it is shared or isolated, the extravagance should be kept to the minimum. People tend to spend a lot on the spur of the moment and few of them regret also later. Practically, contrary to the popular perception, there is no gain in excessive pomp and show. The relatives, instead of getting impressed, laugh behind the back on the foolishness of the individuals concerned.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #578855
    Kailash I appreciate your move for the joint celebration of wedding our your daughter along with your Sambandhi. if this continues with others, the marriage expenses can be curtailed drastically.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #578871
    It's really a nice thread raised by K Mohan sir because in most parts of India specially north India all the expenses of hotels and other things are paid by bride's father and groom 's family has very less contribution in it.
    But this responsibility should be equally shared by parents of both bride and groom.
    In mant western countries the expenses of marriage are paid equally by both the family and which is very nice trend.
    I saw once in a marriage that when transgenders came to the marriage for asking money they demanded money from groom's father only rejecting bride's father 's offer saying that he will be already under lot of pressure paying all the expenses so they will only take money from groom's parent.
    Even a segregated part of society understands this problem so why not our society and take a bold step of sharing all the expenses together by both the families.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #578877
    Girls can play a very important role in such matters. In case they are able to excel in their studies and attain a decent and high paying job, then they can forbid their parents and would be in-laws jointly with their prospective groom to not to indulge in such practices. Merely by leading a comfortable lifestyle instead of working hard, they render their parents in a vulnerable position to succumb to the demands of the bridegroom side.

    Generally, such demands are not raised by the prospective grooms but by their parents. The boys have to attain a stronger position financially compared to their parents so as have their say in such matters.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #578886
    This is practiced among the Christian community in many parts of India, particularly in the north. Weddings are generally solemnized in the evening, before sunset, with an inadvertent time lapse between the ceremony and dinner. The expense for the wedding cake and snacks served at the cake cutting is often borne by the groom's family, while the dinner is catered for by the bride's family. There can be minor changes here – some families decide to share the expenses equally.

    There is another tradition where the bride's dress is provided by the groom's family and the groom is dressed in clothes presented by the bride's side. In some families, the jewellery the bride wears also comes from the grooms' side.

    This is how I have seen it happen in Delhi, Lucknow, Punjab and Haryana.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #578921
    When the expenses are shared by both the families, then there will be no burden for a bride's family. Sadly in almost every part of our country, the bride's family has to bear all the expenses and also the Groom's family will will have the attitude that they are from the boy's side and demand a lot during wedding. I even see that for no reason the start taking a fight saying decoration is not good, tea is not hot etc which I have seen in few weddings.
    For these changes to happen, people should have a broad thinking and should be understanding. They name this as a part of tradition and make sure the girl's family does everything. So they should stop thinking it as a tradition.


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