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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Is it become necessary to take wife salary for a husband?

    As in modern days both wife and husband are working together to sustain life or to live a luxurious life. As wife is earning more than husband or equal to husband. In some families it is the necessity to send wife to work place , In some families to live luxurious life and maintaining high social status the husbands are sending their wives to work place. Is it not a shame for a husband when taking wife salary to sustain life or to lead successful life or luxurious life or can we think it is a failure of male gender he himself unable to sail the boat smoothly he is seeking helping hand from his wife. What are your thoughts on this folks?

    If we see in these angles

    1)They fail to nurture their children
    2)Unemployment Problem
    3)More divorces because they will be ego's
  • #578971
    The husband - wife duo constitute a team or a family and therefore there is no room for considerations like living on wife's salary or otherwise. In developed countries, most of the couples work and earn.

    However, in my opinion, they should maintain their separate salary accounts so as to keep a tab on their respective earnings and expenditure. Through the process of arriving at a broader consensus, the monthly regular expenditure should be split broadly. There is no need of going for detailed accounting or auditing. Ideally, the major heads like house rental, school fee of children, electricity bills, grocery bill etc. should be taken care of by the husband.

    Personal expenditures like petrol bill, phone bills, parlor bills etc. should be paid individually. The wife can incur expenditure on green grocery bills and salary/wages of maids/servants etc. This is just a typical example. The couple concerned may mutually decide among themselves.

    In this manner, there will be no need of a day to day consultation. As a gesture of their love and affection, they can buy gifts in the form of clothes and other accessories for each other and pay the insurance premium for each other. In case of purchase of a gadget or a major common expenditure like buying a house or a car, they can arrive at a certain decision among themselves about their respective contributions.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #578972
    Well there was a time when a single family member's income would suffice the household and that family member was often a male. But in world filled with unemployment and inflation it has gone a necessity for multiple family members to offer financial aid. If a male member is growing weak or his capital isn't enough for upbringing his family he needs to rely upon his mistress. Now it is her duty to help him fulfill the family needs till the children grow up.
    I see no problem in this system. Women are well-educated and well-payed nowadays.
    So they should put a good use of their skills. And while running a family, every able person should contribute to it. So there is no wrong when a husband takes his wife's amount in order to fulfill his family needs, provided he already donned his share.

  • #578976
    That's true now a days both husband and wife's are financially independent. And do share thier day to day expenses to live thier life comfortably. I personally do not feel it's wrong to share expenses. Second it's totally depends upon the mutual understanding between family members.
    If one can earn some income by utilising thier skills then it's great . But at the same time I see in some family wife need to finish whole house hold work then they go for work and after coming in evening again they need to do all house hold work . That seems unfair.
    Socity is changing mind set of people is also changing. We see in our day to day life where couples do share thier house hold work and support for career and families also support for career of girls equally so I don't feel there's any problem to utilise the income of wife. And utilising income is again second decision first is wether they are supporting for career. I seen where husband give his income for house hold expenses and wife save for thier future. So all this depends on thier mutual understanding. Wether they take wifes income or not .

  • #579044
    There is no doubt that if both husband and wife work, the child/children would definitely get neglected to some extent. The comparatively more luxurious life can't compensate this neglect. However, I feel that both husband and wife should work not for luxurious life, but for financial security and for financial support to the child/children during their higher education.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #579075
    When a boy or girl gets married , it is expressly understood that gain or loss in their family way belongs to both. If husband and wife are working, there is nothing wrong to pool the earnings and spend the same for the welfare of the family. Normally the women earning member feels that she has the right to spend money because she is earning and need not take the permission of her husband, That is wrong. Husband is the planner for the family and he makes provisions for the expenses to be incurred in future. So if the wife is the spend thrift for no reason, then husband would get annoyed. Mind it husband wont spend money on clothing and fashion as done by the wife. So wife must understand this. No husband would never say no to his wife for necessities in life and that way a cordial relation can be continued with give and take policy in every spending without ego.
    K Mohan
    I consider myself as the learner everyday

  • #579104
    why to feel shame and what is wrong if wife is working to help husband. Now days we are giving equal freedom to a girl,ladies , also the life style has changed , previously people were having either government job or doing agriculture, or else rest are unemployed , and depending upon the others salary, so there was no need of luxurious, but now days the time has changed, we need more money to sustain in a better way at society. For children higher education, marriage, holidays, outing, all needs money, if as per your statement taking help from wife about salary is a shame for men then men will start complaining about the expenses of a ladies.
    I do not find anything wrong to work of a ladies to help her husband financially.

  • #579147
    If we can say that husband and wife are made for each other, the salary of husband and wife also made for each other. There is nothing wrong if both the husband and wife work and earn their salary for their luxurious living. A lady need not be a house-wife throughout her life. Parents take pain to get their daughters educated for what? It is to ensure that their daughter earns a good sum and will be financially self-dependent in their married life, even if something goes wrong somewhere.

    @ Bhushan: Your thread title is not clear.

    No life without Sun ¤

  • #579156
    With the manifold increase of all the essential items such as education, cost of medicines and health insurance and so on, the salary of the husband is not enough and supplementation of income of the soul - mate would definitely ease the financial - constraint of the husband.
    However, there is a major draw back in entering into such contracts from the side of wives - the kids are the worst sufferers in such cases as they need emotional and psycological support to nourish them mentally so as to build them sensible citizens at later stages. However, after the attainment of ten years of their ages, the wives can go ahead for the job perusal. After all, both husbands and wives are the are the essential parts in discharging their duties in responsible ways and as such they would not create any impediment on the path of prospects of their kids. They would take every thing into action before they implement them.

  • #579231
    I cannot accept the penultimate line in the thread "Is it not a shame for a husband when taking wife salary .........................can we think it is a failure of male gender ................................ is seeking helping hand from his wife.
    . This betrays the authors wrong mental set up towards female gender. I do not accept this.
    I condemn this egoistic attitude and gender bias.

    Let us keep faith on ourselves and work sincerely, not leave everything to fate.

  • #579234
    If a lady is professionally qualified, why shouldn't she work? I can't accept the logic of accepting/not accepting wife's salary. I have already stated, if both husband and wife work, then the family has extra financial security, but the couple's children may get neglected to some extent. Every action has some positive and negative effects, but it doesn't mean that ladies won't work.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #579327
    There is nothing wrong in working woman. I do not support the views express by the author. men and women are consider equal now. How many % women are working and giving the salary to husband, it may be 10 %. What about the 90 % women who are dependent on their husband, they not feel shame when why 10 % of men feel shame.In today's environment it is very difficult to survive on single income as the higher education has become so expensive that you can not imagine.(5-10 lac per year for MBBS, 3-5 lacs for engineering)
    'Education is a lifelong process, keep on learning new things'

  • #579339
    Well if the wife don't have any sort of problem in giving her hard earned money to her husband, then I think it doesn't matter if the husband takes his wife salary, but if she has a problem and the husband is taking it forcefully then I think it is some sort crime which the husband is doing. We mostly see that now a day many husband take his wife salary like that only as he is getting that salary and which I think is wrong and no one should do that, and in that case if the wife wants she can lodge a case against her husband.
    live happily in every situation of life

  • #579340
    There should not be any feeling of shame or hesitation even in playing the role of a house-husband in case so required, to look after the children and manage the house. Many couples in the developed countries adopt such practices in case the wife' s job is more important than the husband's job.
    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #579449

    I am very straight forward person and a realistic person being in social website or if we say like this you will get appreciated (I don't know for that you are talking like this....), I am not that kind of person like you. I strongly oppose to take wife salary or wife sending to Job. personally its a shame for me to take wife salary , the sufferers are the children's.....

    If you ask your doubt you are fool for 5 minutes but if you don't you are fool forever -- Chinese proverb

  • #579454
    If we see in these angles

    1)They fail to nurture their children
    2)Unemployment Problem
    3)More divorces because they will have ego's

    Wives never thought doing their household work as a slavery to men. If they think so, they are also doing slavery to the corporate office for few pennies .

    It is not possible for a salaried women to balance house and office work(even with husband assistance). I don't think they are robot's. It is like doing part time Job and Full time Job on the same day....

    If you ask your doubt you are fool for 5 minutes but if you don't you are fool forever -- Chinese proverb

  • #579474
    @#579449 Bhushan,
    The author needs to lean to discuss a matter without going personal. Nobody invited the author to bring forth this thread or this topic.
    Forum members are not interested or not interfering in anyone's personal matters or personal beliefs. However, what is brought in as a forum post is taken as public stand of the author. As such that declared and expressed stand or view is subject for scrutiny under public discussion. It may be opposed, agreed or analysed and disputed as per each participant's knowledge, experience and public stand.
    When a public stand is made, it should have justification or go with as per existing laws, social norms, moral righteousness or at least logic. If it goes against one or more of any of these then that is bound to be questioned and disputed by others.
    The author should be ready to bear with those with an open mind. Otherwise such topics and statements should not be brought in a public forum. He should not resort to personal vilification. That only shows immaturity and unsocial traits of mind.

    Let the forum members think and opine whether the author has to apologise for the statement"You need to visit Psychologist as ...." and the next sentence.

    Let us keep faith on ourselves and work sincerely, not leave everything to fate.

  • #579490
    The comments of the author of the thread pointed out in response #579474 are inappropriate. He should not have offered such personal comments.

    The author of the thread may consider moderating the objectionable content. Had I been at his place, I would have extended an apology also. There is no harm in that. Rather it is being a gentleman to do so.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #579492
    I am really sorry, Mr. Bhushan. You should not have made comments of personal nature about any Member of ISC. I would expect that you would not repeat your mistake in future. Try to logically explain your view in case of difference of opinion.
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #579499
    Mr Bhushan, you do owe an apology to Venkiteswaran sir. And I would request you to be straight (as you claimed) and offer an open apology as a response here. Do know the limits! ISC is an educational site!

    The question is whether you should let your wife earn. What is wrong in that? And, what is wrong if your wife doesn't earn? She is a house-wife; what is wrong?

    Venkitewaran sir has given a logical and practical response to which your reaction was totally uncalled for. Undo what you have done!

    Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad - Miles Kington.

  • #579508
    Some month ago when my wife was at her hometown, I needed urgently some money. I could have arranged it but when she come to know about my problem, she immediately bank transfer of some thousands in my bank account. I felt very touched and owned by her. I don't think I did sin or anything wrong, in fact I felt so proud of her that she stand with me when I needed her.

    Talking personal or including any family members of any ISCian without any reason in discussion is totally wrong, It is not supported by anyone, it is just uncalled. What my wife is doing (whether working or at home) is none of business.

    "Any man who stands for progress has to criticize, disbelieve and challenge every item of the old faith." - Sardar Bhagat Singh

  • #579517
    I stayed away from this thread, because of its chauvinistic content. I had a response ready but refrained from posting it, since it would have been too hard hitting. I thought, perhaps, it was naiveté that prompted the author to create such a provocative thread. The subsequent responses proved me wrong. It has more to do with a deep-seated mentality that men are superior – and women perhaps just baby making machines and housemaids. The thought of equality does not exist. That a husband who controls his wife abuses her emotionally and mentally, is an alien concept. And yet, we live in the 21st century.

    It is nearly impossible to correct such ingrained convictions in individuals because to them anything other than beliefs they've grown up with is deemed as a failure or dishonour or shame. It is difficult for some societies to accept women as an equal – it goes against their values.

    Kudos to Venkiteswaran for taking the lead in standing up against the author's misguided views. One at times has to be blunt – sugar-coating words does not help.

    I condemn the author's distasteful remarks. However, is asking for an apology enough?

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

  • #579522
    @Saji ,

    On one thread you personally attacked me and asked a question .Do you rape a girl if she wears a skin show dress that means you assassinated my character
    I never asked you to say sorry for me and I took it lighter way.

    @ Venkiteswarn garu,
    I edited my comments and also sorry for the words written...... I haven't made this a gender specific but you turned it in gender specific for both genders it is not possible to do or maintain different Jobs....

    In women empowerment mask if we talk anything that is not correct . It is impossible for any gender to maintain two different Jobs or works (one Domestic work and one Office work). It is like doing a part time job and full time Job on the same day and same time that means there is something wrong some where .

    If you ask your doubt you are fool for 5 minutes but if you don't you are fool forever -- Chinese proverb

  • #579523
    Mr. Bhushan: If Mr. Saji Ganesh made any objectionable personal comment directed to you, it is highly condemnable. You chould have immediately taken up the matter. But that does not give you the authority to talk about others personal life. Your views about wife-husband relationship is not correct (according to me). But you can't talk about others (who oppose your views) personal life.

    I advise you to seek unconditional apology and close the chapter.

    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

  • #579525
    Ref post 579522.
    The author 's words "I edited my comments and also sorry for the words written.." is to be taken as author having understood the effect of improper usage in public forum. That was only my intention. Thanks to Bhushan on being receptive to the suggestions from experienced members' .

    Hence let the matter be closed at that level.

    Let the academic meaningful discussion continue.

    There are many families which need to have the income of husband and wife to lead a reasonable standard of living. Sometimes, to stop the wife from going for a job to earn means denying the children and other dependents a reasonable standard of life or even denying the essentials, if the income of the male earner is insufficient.

    Let us keep faith on ourselves and work sincerely, not leave everything to fate.

  • #579526
    I do not understand why this issue is to be discussed. Once one get married the income is to the family, whether it is from husband's or wife's salary. I personally know a family where husband, wife and their children are working. Every month beginning when they get their salaries, they keep it in the same bag. Any one who needs the money takes from the bag. Only condition is that it should be noted in a note book kept inside the bag - how much, what for and who. No questioning. They have accepted that the income is for the family. In my case we get the salary (now pension) through bank, remitted into our joint account. Any one of us can draw whatever amount is in need.
    Gold Member ISC

  • #579568

    Like you , somebody said that it is irrelevant for discussion I thought for a while and search in google in Quora Digest the same topic is in discussion in different ways..... So I don't concur your comments written on above

    If you ask your doubt you are fool for 5 minutes but if you don't you are fool forever -- Chinese proverb

  • #579571
    Perhaps in India historically, Mumbai led the country in having the maximum number of working couples, though traditionally there were working couples in rural areas since ages as many women used to work in the agricultural fields. Regarding dependence on wife's income, there are many drunkard males even in cities who are totally dependent on their wife's income. Such women work as maids and provide for hooch also for their husbands.
    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #579576
    Being in a family,both husband and wife may work depending on the requirement of the family and is totally based on mutual understanding. It is not correct to think that if wife is working then it is inability of the husband to earn.

    After the marriage both husband and wife sail the same family boat to cross the ocean of society. Apparently when there are high tides in the ocean or when the boat gets heavy by extra load of children and responsibilities,the copilot must take over and stabilise the boat. This is the promise they both make in the event of wedding. So there is no problem in women working to help the family.

    That dominant attitude of "I'm male" will only help to buy à new pulsar bike that's definitely male but will not help to run a family. Lol.

    Venkat Satish Mamidisetti,
    Electrical Engineer.

  • #579579
    Bhushan at #579522, I would like to clarify. Please connect the context in which my response was based. If you felt that it was a personal comment directed to you, I am sorry because you got me wrong. I remember the response very well and I do not, still, feel that I should be sorry for the same.

    And, that was nice of you to have edited your response which carried a very uncalled for remark. As Venkiteswaran sir has rightly said, one who raises a thread must be ready to expect and accept comments which may not go along with his line of thinking.

    I am still at a loss to understand why one should be ashamed of living on his wife's income? What if one becomes disabled at a later stage? It is all about mutual trust, love and respect. Are we really advancing?

    Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad - Miles Kington.

  • #579582
    Saji - It is the societal pressure that makes a man feel inadequate if he cannot provide for his woman. It is a show of masculinity. The society we live in divides our roles gender-wise. A working woman is still expected to look after the house. That the man can also do household chores is not ingrained in the Indian male psyche. A man with a broom in his hand will in all probability be ridiculed.

    We are aghast at the regressive stance taken by the author. However, isn't it true that some of those who disagree with him have in the past relegated a woman's role to that to looking after the house, children and in-laws! It appears that people want a blend of modernity and submissiveness. The whole point is men still want to control women. She should work because the family needs the money – yet, she should be obedient and subservient because that is how a good wife should be. She can bring in money, but must seek the husband's permission before spending even a penny. The man remains the boss. These views are as backward and as offensive as the main thread.

    It will take years to undo what has been drilled into our people. We are getting there, but there are still a lot of obstacles. Maybe, a few generations down the line, men will evolve. We'll have a different breed of males – more emancipated perhaps – it will take time for them to free themselves from the shackles that bind them.

    A fool will always try to make sense of his nonsense!

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