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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Should we be allowed to stumble and deal with our problems?

    Parenting styles vary in every nation and culture.In Indian parents, we are very protective about our children, removing every harm out of their way.
    When a child tries to walk , we try to babyproof the surroundings for their safety. When the child grows up, we try to push them to achieve their dream or even complete our dreams and remove monetary and everyday obstacles in their lives.
    Every child has a right to live happily and freely but what about the difficulties and challenges which can suddenly prop up without any prior notice.
    How do we prepare and prevent them from causing harm to our children?
    Should we allow our kids to deal with their problems independently so that they become self reliable in the future?
    Till what extent is this possible for us as parents?
  • #587450
    A very good thread! This issue must be discussed in details. In this connection, I would like to state that the parenting culture is different in different countries. Some years ago, a child was forcibly taken away from the custody of a Bengali couple working in Norway, because the couple was teaching the child to take food with fingers. Very recently, another child from another Indian couple has been taken in Government custody in a Nordic country, because the parents had beaten the child for some offence.
    Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

  • #587452
    Good thought provoking thread from the author. Parenting is the great art and not every one is accustomed with it. I have invariably seen a successful child from the house where the elders were also there along with the parents., While parents teach all the intricacies of life, the elders teach about moral science and ethics to the child. A child be allowed to walk bare foot so that he must be accustomed with the mud and the stone touch. The child should be allowed to stroll in the garden so that he should feel the touch of the grass and greenery. Likewise the child must be allowed to touch the water, so that he must feel the touch of the cold. But some parents nurture their child in such a way that they wont expose the child to the nature. That is wrong. Likewise child must be allowed to mingle with other children no matter he does not know the language and that bonding will make them to learn more fast.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #587520
    Parenting is like new syllabus for me where I am new joiner with 6 moths son. I do feel very protective towards my son whereas I give lecture to others like, see the foreign countries where they let there small kids to eat themselves and do most of the things. Its like in foreign countries they always like to teach their child from every instances like opening a fridge and closing it. Whereas here when baby goes near the fridge itself we will go and pick them. Also when the kids grow up our Indian culture goes upside down where we start punishing and believe that will correct them. But in actual we should let them know the actual consequences for their doing so that they will not do it next time when we are not their. Yes as Partha mentioned, this is a big topic where it would go like pages and this is a good thread to start up.
    Some times peace is better than being Right!!!

  • #587522
    I would like to quote Nadia Boulanger in the context of parenting:-

    "Loving a child doesn't mean giving in to all his whims; to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult."

    Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

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