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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Whether married brothers should live together in joint family or separately ?

    Generally after marriage people start their own family and stay in separate houses and parents will be living with one of the brothers either in ancestral house or new house.

    In some cases people live in joint family with all the married brothers and parents under one roof.

    What is your opinion on this ?
  • #591405
    Joint family is best as far as family experience goes. For example, shared parenting, shared responsibility of kids and other issues in family. And there are many other small good and bad experience that benefit. Only issue that may arise in modern families is lack of space, privacy, and ego issues. If those are taken care of then I assume that a lot of families benefit from joint family instead of nuclear one.

    Nuclear families these days are facing a lot of issues. Some of the issues include kids being raised in daycare ending up in more psychological issues. And also they not caring for the people around with lack of empathy as they grow up. Also nuclear families end up isolating themselves on many points compared to the joint familes. Then there are some of the benefits too which we can't ignore.

    It all comes down to how much understanding two brothers have. How good their spouse handle each other. How the arguments and the issues are solved in the family. That should decide the direction of the joint family or nuclear family decision.

  • #591443
    Many of us intending secular family instead of Joint family system in the sense of freedom and privacy. It is good according to them. But they are thinking about the facilities and benefits of Joint family system. It is said that the wife of brothers are not agreeing but we cannot say this is correct as in a family of known to me the brothers are the culprits for the separation as they are intending privacy. Now they all suffering individually in their old age unable to maintain the family.

  • #591449
    What I feel that being separate is the best way to have the good relations among the married brothers. The brothers may be kind to each other and even adjusting with big heart. But we cannot expect the same from the wife of brothers as they will have their own say and preference and on every small issue ego and preferences shall take front seat. Moreover on petty issues the children would stoop to fighting and that petty quarrel would taken big by the elders from both side and the things would turn nasty. During festivities the elder brother has the responsibility to bring dress and other materials for both the families and thus surely difference of opinion among the ladies in the house would arise. In Tamil there is a saying that "Dhurathu patchai Kannukku kulirchi". meaning that "the greenary far off is always soothing to the eyes ".
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #591470
    I would definitely welcome a joint family with all married brothers staying under one roof with unity and mutual affection.
    But whether that is practical is a million dollar question. Those who could carry on like that are really blessed.

    Generally after marriage selfish interest crop up. Each one will have 'my family' apart from 'our family'. The brothers may like to have unity and unanimity because they are of same parents, brought up in alike situations and have a common bind. However the spouses would have come from different and separate families. Hence each one of them will be totally different from the other. Unity and unanimity is not that easily possible unless each one is ready to sacrifice individual likes and choices and satisfied to accept whatever is coming to them.

    The differences may also develop if even one of the daughter-in-law feels that her husband is not respected or does not get his due.

    But still, if such things of staying together with unity and mutual support and respect is possible, then that is really welcome and imitable.

  • #591479
    yes two brothers or joint family is good option if you have family business. Most important is money when it comes to spending. Even Ambani brothers have separation because of money so you can imagine.
    But if your entire family is in same business then together growth will be higher and no emotions attached to family expenses or individual expenses.
    If not family business it is better to be nuclear family. No problems of spending money for home. Meet occasionally to parents and other siblings. Parents might have to stay alternately to each brother place time to time. I have seen parents also staying separately and inviting son's family during festival for spending family time together.

    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful

  • #591581
    Joint family is good .But guardians should make division of works among members. Joint family is good for children also.They get love and care from family members.If the parents handle the family intelligently then it is good.It is seen parents ' sympathies are with the sons or daughters,who are economically or physically weak.This bring differences in a joint family.

  • #591586
    My opinion about this thread, lives separate is best way or bettar than being together. each and every married couple wants to live separate. husbands always wants to be together but mostly wife does not agree for stay joint family.if you have a bigger space/ home than it is best to lives with joint family.


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