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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Rotten apple or bad friend, is there any difference?

    What happens if any waste or rotten apple is kept together with fresh apple? The new apples will also become waste. Similarly if one has bad manners, negative thinking, bad habits like smoking, drinking etc, what happens if anyone having good manners and habits become friends with him? Is he likely to learn the bad habits from his friend? Members give your valuable opinion about this thread.
  • #592090
    Good thread started by the author. In Tamil there is a saying that " Un Nanban peyar sol, nee yaar endru nan arindhukolven" the meanings says that tell me your friends name and I will find out who you are. So what it implies here that when we are moving with the a good nature , well cultured person, surely his good quality of character shall reflect on us too. When we have the friendship of hooligans and time wasting people around us, we also turn to be lazy and start postponing things citing some or the other reason. So being with the peer group would be essential for our progress.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #592094
    A man is known by the company he keeps. Those who are your companion can make you or mar your life. Good people also may suffer due to the actions of their friends.
    Just a day ago, I read in a news report that friends were taken by the police to know the whereabouts of their friend who eloped with a girl of another religion. The friends claim that they really did not know about that at all.

  • #592096
    Yes being in a bad company will definitely change a person's good nature. A person will try to imitate his friends and learn bad things. These days boozing among youngsters is very common. In a company if there is one person who does not booze, he will be teased, made fun of and will be forced to booze. This way he will get habituated to drinking and get addicted to bad qualities. Though one might have control on his quality and the way he behave he will definitely change being among some bad people.

  • #592132
    What happens to fruits doesn't necessarily happen to people. Fruits cannot think, but people have that ability. One is capable of handling whatever he/she is faced with if they are strong in their convictions. If you go to college and the whole class is comprised of unfriendly characters, you may suffer some, but you don't have to lose any good principles you are taught /learnt when young from your parents/teachers. If all the 'good' people mingle with only other 'good' people, what chance is there for the other crowd to break out of that circle? For the most part, the 'bad' company people never had the good upbringing you had. Even if the group of not-so-nice guys are there, and they are always nasty when they are all together, they will not be so when they are not in a mob. They're much more reasonable and even willing to change for better. All it takes is for someone to look beyond their outer casing or public/mob propaganda attitudes, to see that they also have hopes to be doing better with their time and energy.

    Why even think that bad and negative aspects will always win over the right? What if you by your actions and standing up for what is right is so good that it inspires a lackadaisical person to improve his life? That's what good leaders are made up of.

    Of course, if one is so weak minded that he gets affected easily by every bit of wind that blows by, it is better to stick to places and people where he can learn from until such a time you are daring to break out of the mold. It is always easy to stick to the routine of non-eyebrow raising aspects of life, and be taken for granted, and be predictive, and so on.

    Expanding the circle of friendship to include others can improve others who are not well trained as you are in any matter, like etiquette, manners, polite speaking, life skills, etc. Military trainers often have to deal with a bunch of sassy people and have to train them into products of discipline and effectiveness. Teachers often deal with children from various backgrounds and still try to bring them up into responsible and educated young people. They trainer or teacher is a failure when they do not make any effort to uplift their wards. Same for us if only stick with those we feel comfortable with and make no step towards bringing about positive changes where needed.

  • #592616
    Yes. If one is in the company of bad people, chances of he getting the same habits are very high.
    A mature mind may think whether the acts are good or bad. But in a tender age students will have lot of impact from their co students and teachers. Practicing bad habits is very easy but imbibing good habits is very difficult. Another aspect is if one is in the company of bad friends, others will think he is also bad. There is a saying in telugu which means even though you are drinking milk under a tadi tree, viewers will think that you are drinking tadi only.

    Karna is a very good person. He is a great donor. Even Though he knows that donating his original body cover and earrings will do lot of damage to him, he preferred to keep up his word and donated. But in the company of duryodhana, dussasana and shakuni he suffered a lot and finally got defeated.

    So bad friends are not advisable for anybody.

    always confident

  • #592626
    Well, that is true to the most. If you are constantly in a bad company, you tend to absorb the bad qualities yourself. This issue goes more aggravated if you are still in a tender age. There is bound to be an effect of constant touch with the anti social elements.
    However, if you are mature enough to differentiate between good and bad, you should be able to break yourself from such people. After all, you are a human being and are not forced to mingle with the "bad fruit" if you don't want to.

    Live....and Let Live...!

  • #592633
    I have a different take on what is stated by the author of this thread. It is not necessary that a person who smokes or drinks or has poor manners is a rotten apple or a bad friend. Peel away the layers and go to the core of the apple. You have to look beyond what you see of the person's habits to what the person is within. Why should somebody's habits be considered as the essence of the person's entire character? You can have a beautiful lifelong friendship with the person when you realize his/her true inner self. You'll be surprised even one day to find out that he/she may just be the one who stands by you in your darkest hours when the so called 'good' company you otherwise generally keep stay in the shadows.

    Nor should it be that the other person would necessarily influence you to go down the same path. Eventually, if your own good core values are very strong and your principles are firm, nothing can shake you down. You can simply stay away from such company if you are uncomfortable and not merely because you are afraid of being influenced.

    Also, as Bala said, it is possible that you could be the one to change that person's life for the better. From your behaviour that person could improve in manners and attitudes, may even eventually give up unhealthy habits.

    When people come at you with their worst, you should come at them with your best (advice given to Selena Gomez by her mother, quoted in Time magazine.)

  • #592637
    This is a very interesting thread and invoking lot of thoughts to contribute to it.

    In the society there are good people, there are bad people. It is not necessary that all of your friend be good. One should try to avoid bad company as far as possible because the effect of company on a person is inevitable.

    During the student life this becomes more crucial as in the tender age the mind is polluted much faster than that of a grown up and matured person. That is the reason why parents are cautioned and are advised to keep a watch on the company of their children.
    When a person keeps a bad company for a long time many indecent things are deeply planted in his subconscious mind and he can not get rid of them throughout his life. The danger of bad company is disastrous.

    On the contrary a good company generates motivation, encouragement, will to progress and positive thinking. Why we go to saints and philosophers for consultations ? The reason is obvious - to get solutions for a more positive life.

    Knowledge is power.

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