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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Arrange Marriage V/s Love Marriage

    "Marriages are made in heaven" is a very joint statement given by many people. Well, I don't know how much true is this statement. The world is so big enough that from our childhood we come across meeting many people in our lives and also falling in love with them. We never get to know who our life partner is unless and until our engagement has been fixed. This mostly happens in arrange marriages. While in love marriages you are at least aware about as to who your partner is (only in case if your love is true and you are serious about your relationship). Well, whichever marriage you do these marriages have their pros and cons. So taking them into consideration which type of wedding do you support and why? Please share your views.
  • #593928
    Hi,
    First of all I want to thank you for posting such an interesting thread which is a topic of real life debate. In my opinion success of a marriage depends on the adjustment capability of the partners, equally both of husband and wife. They have to friends first and then couple. Although in love marriages you know your partner before marriage, but it is I think not an advantage than arranged marriage. Because the scenario gets completely changed when you got married. Then you are not only the girlfriend or boyfriend.
    Personally I know some couples who spend a lot time in their courtship period, but in their married life they are not happy. In some of the cases they got divorced. On the other hand there are lots of couples who had arranged marriage, but they are sill happy and enjoying their married life. I am not generalizing but it is the fact that I have seen.
    Actually marriage is nothing but adjustment with any kind of adverse situation and to keep faith on your partner, while completing all your duties towards your family. It does not depend that either you know your partner previously or not. So, a successful marriage is important, it does not such important that either it is love marriage or arrange marriage.

  • #593930
    One is marriage after love (Love marriage), and the other is Love after marriage(Arranged marriage) In a love marriage, the marriage takes place after a good understanding between the partners. In arranged marriage, it is a suspense without understanding each other much. As experienced, many couples who had love marriages failed due to their parents disapproval. Many couples who choose to love and marry could not lead a peaceful life. No one would come forward to help or sort out the problems of the couple. They are kept away from the family. In arranged marriages, everything goes peaceful. The whole family members and relatives join together to help the couples and sort out their problems if any. unfortunately, arranged marriages too fail due to misunderstanding, mismanagement and non adjustment of the spouses. Hope this simple explanation would answer your thread.

    @ Just go through this article from Sun for fun and joy

    No life without Sun ¤

  • #593933
    First of all I support arranged marriage. As the author said both marriages are having its own pros and corns. I have seen all type of couples around me and also in my families. There are failed arranged marriage also and successful love marriage also. Even though I am supporting only arranged marriage. In future inter-cast marriage will be more, but still not all the elements in this country have changed to digest those inter-cast marriages. Mostly love marriages are inter-cast marriages only. Some times it will be inter-religion marriages also. Everyone should not expect their parents to agree for these kinds of love marriages. The Indian government has fixed the minimum age limit for marriage. So every individual need to accept that they are only reason for the happenings in their life.

    What ever the marriage, surely there will be mis-understandings in their life at any point of time. One should learn to adjust or compromise with other. Else their marriage life will be in danger. Try to make your pair to understand you else you try to understand them.

    Finally why I am not supporting Love marriage is, we have to completely change ourselves. The boys will always will be looking different in their behavior before and after start taking responsibility. The girls may always want the boys to behave same at any point of time, which is highly impossible for a normal human.

    Regards,

    Mr. Sankara Rama Subramanian

  • #593934
    Marriage by mutual consent is love and marriage with everyone consent is bonding of two hearts. Normally we accept the things which has the majority acceptance and that is why arranged marriages have more weight-age and acceptance in the society. Why we invite so many relatives and friends to grace the marriage occasion, is to show our consent and also obtain their consent and also introduce to them the newly wedded couple in public. Whereas love marriages are performed very secretly and not known to many relatives or friends as such. Boy and girl like each other and they force the marriage on their parents to accept it by any mean and thus for the welfare of their own children, the parents some times succumb to their demand and agree for the marriage which the bonding may not last long.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #593960
    Thanks to post a nice and interesting thread. I am in favour of arrange marriage and will support it. I read Osho about this some years ago. You can see generally arrange marriages are successful than that of love marriages. The reason behind that in love marriage your love is at climax before wedding and your expectation is very high from your partner. But in arrange marriage your love never reaches to climax.
    To whom you love most before your wedding, mother, father, sister or brother. You have not choose anyone of them as mother, father ,sister or brother. they are by chance you relatives and gradually you start to love them and this love never reaches to climax. Arrange marriage is like that. You gradually start loving your partner which never come to end.
    So arrange marriages are more successful than live marriages.

    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #593967
    Love marriage is like tasting and repeated tasting, and finally eating it.
    Arranged marriage is eating without tasting and feeling it for ever.

    No life without Sun ¤

  • #594002
    Both have their own benefits and cons. While in arrange marriage curiosity knowing your partner and understanding each other makes life to continue, in love marriage both become friends. I favor more for love marriage are more beneficial since you decide your fate.
    In Arrange Marriage -
    1. Choice or options of partner but possibility of bluffing
    2. If both are well earning and educated then relationship blooms well otherwise there will be always doubts , if and buts.
    3. Time passes understanding partner
    4. Can blame parents if marriage fails
    5. All celebrate wedding happily without negative thoughts in mind.
    6. Family can be involved in case of disputes in understanding

    In Love Marriage -
    1. No option for partner but bluffing is not easily possible
    2. Mostly it is choice marriage , you choose someone who is settled. So there is few chances of if and buts. If that happens you knew mood of partner in advance.
    3. Can't blame parents for marriage failure.
    4. Mostly parents don't get ready for love marriages and don't show interest in weddings. With minimum gathering marriage happens. Only rich people have mindset of accepting and celebrating love marriage like arrange.
    5. Time passes by future plans
    6. Can't involve family in internal disputes. Have to sort out through friends or mutually.

    In developed countries , dating concept give both partners to know each other before marriage. Nowadays in India too it is encouraging bride to understand partners behavior in advance by meeting casually to groom outside and in her home to mingle and decide.

    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful

  • #594003
    Arrange marriage or love marriage does not matter as long as there is a good understanding between the couple and respect for each other. There are many examples were arrange marriage has been broken and also love marriage has been broken because of lack of understanding and ego problem. As members above said both type of marriages have their own pros and cons. It is upto the couple how to deal them and sort it out.
    To your question which marriage is better, I feel it's arrange marriage because if there is any small misunderstanding then we can talk to elders and sort it out. With love marriage there are very less chances to involve elders as it will be our choice.
    In both the marriages, we cannot judge how the partner is unless we spend time with partner completely. A person might change alot after marriage. Both types of marriages are better in their own way when dealth with problems sensibly.

  • #594022
    While editors are in deleting spree about my threads appearing on same topics. But how come this thread was allowed and this content was discussed for many times.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

    Delete Attachment


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