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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Is arranged marriage a lottery?

    Marriage is a life bond between two people. There are two type of marriage, one where two people know each other for some time and then decide to get marry. Other which is done with the agreements with two family called arranged marriage.

    However, the first kind of marriage where people know each other well, they understand each other character wherein arranged a kind of situation where only mediator know the real fact. Interestingly, those person who has to involved in marriage know less about each other.

    One may never know what will be the future. Its like a lottery, if everything goes smoothly the marriage become heaven and if not the marriage become a burden. In India, people care too much about their culture and respects their family feelings so even if the couple is having many differences, still they keep bearing it life long even if they do not fulfil to each other. And sometime we feel as if arranged marriage a lottery which can make your life beautiful or worst.
  • #594952
    Some dayd ago similar thread was posted "arrange marriage v/s love marriage". To visit the thread Please click here .
    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #594957
    Yeah, you are right and thank you for informing me. I have missed this thread.

    I would request to editor to lock this thread if they find the topic has been discussed various times. I have no issue about it.

  • #594958
    Parents take lot of pains in arranging the marriage of their children and as per our culture and social ethics they take all precautions that girl should be from an equal status family and also should have basic indian values towards her elders. Apart from this it is also critically observed that whether she is proficient in household work or not. Even from the employed woman a basic proficiency in household work is expected. Under such rigorous expectations from the bride, we can not categorise the arranged marriage as a lottery.

    Whether it is arranged marriage or love marriage, the real nature and qualities of a woman are only fully known after the marriage when the couple starts living together. So there are pros and cons of both the system.

    I will say that all marriages whether arranged or love based are totally unknown for their future outome as successful marriage requires so many compatibilities and lot of give and take philosophy between the couple.

    So it is not the physical attributes which make a marriage successful in long run but the virtues, mutual respect and faith play a broader role.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #594962
    I think be it arranged marriage or love marriage, bride looks at the money of the groom. So for her it has to be numbers game. For males their role doesn't change be it love or arrange marriage. The effort required to get a woman and keep it remains the same. And is all decided by money. Some women can be an exception to this because they don't look for money. But that is 5 in million. Most others are norm and they look for money. Marriage is not a bond anymore, it's just profit and loss game now. Dowry is illegal and fat wedding is replacing it. So I don't see anything is changed. It's always money in the marriage, be it husband or brides father, money has to be paid in some way by some men. It'd be harder for people in their 40s onwards to find this new fact of Indian next generation. But those of us who are in 20s and 30s know that marriage game is changed.

  • #594970
    I won't call it as a lottery. But I call it as a blessing and cursing. The perfect match is a blessing to the bride and groom, and the imperfect match is a cursing to them due to the good deeds and bad deeds committed by the couples in their previous births.
    No life without Sun

  • #594971
    Each and every marriage, be it arranged marriage or so-called love marriage, is nothing but a lottery.
    Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

  • #594972
    Though the topic was discussed little earlier in this Forum, the title itself gives a different dimension to the topic and hence this thread is allowed for discussion.

  • #594982
    Marriages are made in heaven. This is a very frequently told proverb in our state. Your partner is destiny only.Whether it is an arranged marriage or a love marriage, the future of both the partners depend on their understanding and maturity.A better understanding with each other brings peace to your life. Otherwise it is a havoc only. When one is not in good mood,if the other one is keeping a little low problem will get sorted out , otherwise the problem will get aggravated..
    In arranged marriages the elders see the family background, their family history and other aspects. If they have any doubt they may get it clarified or they may not progress the issue. So we can't say it is luck. So I am calling it destiny.

    In love marriages, both boy and girl will understand each other and make friend ship and they decide to go for marriage. Even then many love marriage failures are known. Again here also it is destiny.

    always confident

  • #594983
    I agree arranged marriage is kind off a lottery only because we will never know how the person is untill we spend our time with the person. There might be a gap between engagement and the wedding but in a short time we can never judge a person. A person who seems to be good might appear to be a monster after wedding. Few people pretend to be good, caring and understanding just for the sake of marriage and then they show the true Colors. It is really luck of the couple and their families when the marriage ends up in good term. Though we get alliance through a mediator, there are chances that things will be hidden.

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