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(This thread has been selected as the Winner of the TOW for the week 14th May – 20th May 2017)
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Kudos to single mothers

    Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers.

    Mother's day is a such an emotional day for all the children and their mothers. Mothers get to feel special for at least one day for the prolonged mammoth task of properly parenting a child performed by them for 365 days. What mothers are to their children, only the children know in their heart. But what is a mother to a child who does not have a father? A single mother, who either chose to be a single parent or is single currently due to a separation from the father or the sudden demise of the father or any other reason, has to not only mother a child but also father a child. Only single mothers can tell you how difficult it is. At times, the child feels lonesome when he sees other children playing and bonding with their fathers. Yes, a mother is the entire world to the kid. But a father is the Moon to that world. When a mother is a very strict, father is the shelter for that kid, when a mother is too meticulous and scrupulous mentor for a kid, father is the breeze of fun and rule break. It is sometimes the other way round too.

    But what happens to the kids who don't have a father due to any reason? Then the mother has to role play of both parents. When time demands she has to be a strict parent, then again she has to show the child, that she is her best possible patron. It is a very tough and mentally exhausting job. What's more difficult and saddening is the demeaning treatment such single mothers get from the society and the children get from their friends and relatives. Those who are single mothers in ISC can vouch for it.

    I want to dedicate this thread to all the single mothers this Mother's Day. Please come and share your experiences of parenting the child. If you know a single mother, then please share her experience too. Kudos for the all the effort that you take to make your child successful without the help and mental support from anyone.
  • #598261
    Appreciation to the author for thinking differently and dedicating this thread to the Single mothers for whom nurturing a child sans father is the biggest challenge. Really I can understand the problem from lower age itself. When the child keep growing and know the essence of father and mother relation, surely the child would question the mother and she is bound to tell the truth. For some the husband died, for some the husband deserted, for some the husband stays with other women. These are the happenings in today's world and the legitimate child does not know. Good that author raked up this rare guts in some mothers who were single and yet confronting with this cunning and selfish world which bent upon creating hurdles and problems to those who does not have a male support. I bow them with my greatest regard.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #598271
    Joyshree, it is unfortunate that there is a rapid increase in the number of single-parent families all over the world. A big majority of them are single-mother families only. Irrespective of the reason, whether it is demise of the husband, separation or any other, there are negative effects on the children and mother. Single mothers have multiplied challenges like overloads of responsibility in rearing the children, decision making and fulfilling all the family needs. Certainly it can be overwhelming for any mother.
    Unfortunately, the society, relatives and friends rarely provide requisite support. It is the time that we recognise the challenge of single-mothers and maintain positive attitude towards them. Fortunately, Ministry of Women and Child Development has taken some initiatives on certain issues like adoption of children by single mothers and mandatory use of the mother's middle or maiden name during school admission. But that is not enough. There is a need of basic change in the mindset of the society and more liberal help by the Government to single mothers.
    On Mother's Day I salute all the single mothers.


    "Semper Sursum"

  • #598274
    I very strongly second the thoughts put forward by my friend. To begin with Happy Mother's day to all. Mother is a very strong emotional strength for each one of us but females who raise children alone are commendable. There are different types of problems faced by children in growing up years. To face them single handedly and train the child about different faces of life bn is a tough task and kudos to the lady who does this.
    The most terrific aspect of single mother is decision making and problem solving. Many a times even if a lady can handle things she is not allowed to do and is forced by other members to look at a male for doing so and if the lady revolts it hits the big male ego and then a series of problems start following her.
    So it is a very tedious task and only a mother can do it.

  • #598276
    First of all I like to wish everyone a happy Mother's day. Ms. Joyshree is to be congratulated for the idea of this thread. Single mother parenting is nothing but fulfilling responsibilities of both the parents by only mother. One should appreciate the mother who is taking care of her children by playing double role as mother and father. The children are to be brought up carefully and see that they are in the right path. All the problems are to faced by her and solve it. Really a hectic job. Decision making is also difficult task for her. In this fast society, no body will come forward to help her and at the same time some people try to disturb her with rumors and gossiping. Children will have so many doubts and they will be posing all those problems to her. She has to be open with them

    This situation can be faced by a mother only. We should appreciate the single mothers for their hectic job and the way they are handling it.

    always confident

  • #598308
    I congratulate the author to bring such an important issue in such a lucid way.

    The responsibility of a single mother is manifold increased. At every moment in the life she has to explain the absence of father in the life of her child. It is continuously a painful thing for her.

    Today women are out of the household arena and working in all sorts of job. They are independently taking their decisions. Still the absence of father in the family is a thing no woman will like.

    We salute the single mothers today on mothers day.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #598310
    In my office, I notice the struggle of a single mother of two children everyday. The lady, who had been a housewife, lost her husband at a very young age. At first, she struggled to get compassionate appointment. After a struggle of more than six years , she finally got a job of Peon on compassionate ground. Even now, her struggle is going on. I secretly salute her beause of her tenacity, determination, fighting ability and her desire to give a better life for her children. I have also seen another lady, who built her own successful retail business of tea in Kolkata. She is also a single mother of two children. After settling her children, she is now helping other women in similar condition. I wrote about the lady in a Forum post.

    All of us must salute those single mothers for their dogged determination and fighting spirit.

    Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

  • #598446
    The point raised by Rashmi is very valid, that a child has lots of mental and other turmoils while growing up. To deal with single-handed becomes a problem for a mother. Since a mother carries a child in her body, her body becomes very weak for tasks that demands high labor. A single mother has no choice other than to complete a task irrespective of whether there is a doctor's restriction on it. Can anybody suggest a solution for such problems on single mother?
    Live life Kingsize!

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