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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Never give free advices and suggestions to others

    There are some people who have the habit of interfering in every others matter. Even if others are not interested some people give unnecessary suggestions and advices which is not required and also irritated the opposite person. If people really need any help they will definitely ask someone and everyone does things according to their way and convince. There is no point in advising and irritating a person unnecessarily. The reason I am saying this is because I have seen a lot of people giving unwanted suggestions and I have also experienced the headache because of such people.
  • #598918
    Normally in these days every one pretends to be intelligent and wont seek any advice. But by the virtue of past experience and one gone through the ordeal, asking for advice from those is not a bad idea. For example how to obtain a driving license without approaching a broker, how to obtain a income certificate from MRO office without approaching the middlemen. Some people know the right way of approach to get the things done and there is no harm seeking their help and advice. But one may not like the advice of others who gave just like that even not sought from them.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #598928
    In one way you are correct as many of us do not like advice and corrections as they think they are always correct, though they do wrong. .But the elders normally not leaving others from giving advice volunteer. As their intention is the youngsters should not get polluted or got damaged due to their wrong actions.
    Once I am traveling in a bus and a passenger by my side asked whether the bus would go to Narayanapuram, I told yes. When narayanapuram nearing, I told him that we are nearing Narayanapuram. He immediately sullen on me with the words,I know, mind your way. I got shocked.
    We used to see on roads alert the drivers of the vehicles coming in the opposite direction with burning light. When we see the door of the running car is not properly shut, we are intimating. Similar to this the free advice and suggestions.
    Overall, my view on this topic is free advice and suggestions are always correct as the elders and experienced persons do have duty to prevent others from panic.

  • #598942
    Advices from elders on certain aspects should always be welcomed. The good examples given by Mr. Ramachandran are quite natural. In these issues the people are putting the others in a problem. For example the not properly closed car door may get open and travellers may fall down. At the same time the vehicle going by the side of it will have a very bad hit and the passengers may suffer a lot. These suggestions should be given.

    But as pointed out by Ms. Sushma, some people give suggestion on personal matters even without we ask. These suggestions are definitely unwanted. If some body gives an advice on our dressing without our asking, we will definitely get annoyed. Similarly many times many people will be giving unsolicited advice. I feel definitely these advices create headache to other side.

    I always advice anybody, only if it is asked for.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #598953
    You know what, I think the best way to advise someone, is by not letting them know that we are advising them. Either convince or confuse them. And also, the fact that you are wasting your precious time to advise someone itself shows how much you care for them. Frankly I don't think anyone would waste their valuable time on someone whom they don't care. So value your advisers. Hear them out first. And do whatever pleases you in the end.
    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #599022
    Many people have a habit of giving advice whether someone has asked for it or not. These people feel that they have some information and whether it is useful to others or not it is to be given.

    This is sometimes very embarrassing as the person at receiving end feels offended also.

    It is very correct that we must not give unasked advice to the people. If a person needs it and knows our capability he will come and ask for it.

    There are occasions in life when we are in problem and want advice. Such times if a person comes and starts to suggest us something foolish we will be mislead and will be in problem.

    That is the reason why many people start ignoring these type of advisors.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #599060
    My take is on the lines of Ramachandran Pattabiraman's response 59892823 above. Probably there is something linked to age also.

    Slightly more than an year back, there was another thread which had same core point. There in my response #556414 I had put similar views,
    and I quote:.

    "Suppose you are travelling by your car. A car coming from opposite side blinks and beeps indicating some alert to you. He has just seen some traffic problem on the up lane by which you are driving. He wants to suggest you take a turn and take a deviation, otherwise you will be trapped in the traffic jam.

    Should he give you this unsolicited suggestion or simply mind his business and leave you to your fate?" Unquote

    Sometimes unsolicited advice also may be essential. Such advice are like Gooseberry -first sour and then sweet. Many good things in life too may be irritating at first but the end will be sweet and pleasant.

  • #599066
    There are other ways to give advice without making it look like we are giving advice. One way is turning the unasked-for advice into a question to elicit answer from the recipient and making it into a short discussion so that the condescension is removed and communication happens. Other methods can be pursued depending upon the situation.


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