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(This thread is the Special prize winner of the TOW contest for the week 18th June - 24th June'17)
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    What is more important - self respect or relationship?

    We all will have someone very close to us in our lives. We share everything with such close ones and we trust that person blindly. At times we do not hesitate to even get some sort of help from that person. Sometimes it so happens that there is a misunderstanding with your close ones and either you will hurt him by talking some nonsense or that person might hurt you with his words and might mention about his help and show regrets in helping you. Usage of words can be to such an extent that it hurts your pride and self esteem.
    In such a case what would be more important, your respect or the person? Do you avoid him for your self respect or do you lose your respect and still be with him?
  • #601251
    In my personal experience so far I have seen people choosing self respect than maintaining the relationship if the bonding is sore. We have been guided with ego and we cannot tolerate belittling by others and that is the reason being so we cannot digest the bad behavior of even close relatives thus will lead to snapping ties with them, But seldom we understand the fact that by virtue of being relative they assert the rights and behave strangely and for some they adjust with the tantrums but many wont like such attitude. It all depends on person to person how they differentiate between self respect and relationship.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #601257
    I don't think self respect is more important than relationship. However, I've seen some people who has a vengeance inside to avenge at any cost. If a person forgives and forget, it clearly shows and purifies that he is a man of good birth. What's the worth of stand alone self respect when you don't have any dependencies.

    It is natural that we can't bear the disheartening words and break up all the relationship in one go but at the same time we must alsobrealize that it takes ages to build a good foundation of friendship relation.

    I don't felt regret for helping anyone even if they dishearten me by their words or actions. I only felt regret for only not being better to them.

    Hackers never learns but always wins!

  • #601258
    To me, a relationship is of more significance because it is what maintains the closeness, between couples and between people. But, then every relationship has to be two-sided – it cannot be one-sided. If I respect someone, I expect the other someone to respect me too. If I go out of my way to do something for someone, then that other person must not begin counting the number of times they did something for me. If I ensure that the other person is comfortable, the person must not begin taking me for granted. Any relationship where all the effort comes from one person is not worth keeping.

    Misunderstandings happen, and in anger, people say a lot of things they do not mean. That is normal. But, learn to read the signs, if everything indicates that it is a one-sided relationship, and you are the one making all the effort then there is no point in carrying on a charade.

    In a healthy relationship, people do not keep tabs of what they did for the other.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #601259
    For me relationship is more important for me in the family. But in the office and work self respect is more important for than relationship.
    In my view it is important for you to maintain good relationship in family and relatives but in business point of view you must have self respect.

    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #601263
    Without self-respect, there would be no respect (from others). And if there is no respect, relationship won't grow. So, self-respect and relationship are linked.
    Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

  • #601276
    Self respect and relationship. Both are important. But it depends on with whom. A good friend of you may hurt you once. You need not lose relationship with him. You can politely say your point of view. If the same person is trying to repeat the same thing number of times, we should express our concern and make him to understand. Still he continues in the same way, definitely you can part with him when you can't lose your self respect anymore. With family members sometimes we have difference of opinions. But it is Ok. All in the game. Relation is more important here.
    Coming to official life, always self respect comes into the first place. It is a give and take policy. Even my boss tries to work on my self respect , I will not accept. There the relation is not very important. I know one of my friend drawing almost 50 lakhs per annum resigned from the job when his boss always trying to question him for others mistakes. Of course my friend got a better job after quitting that and presently drawing a little more than what he was drawing there.
    So basing on the other side only we can decide which is first relationship or self respect.

    always confident

  • #601367
    Depends on you. If you value a person more than yourself, then you shouldn't mind neglecting your self-respect.
    There's nothing wrong in compromising. If you want to sustain a relationship, there's no reason why not to give up the self-respect. But keeping your self-respect intact is equally important. Only by keeping your self-respect intact, you will be of some value before people. If you don't respect yourself, then people around you will never respect you.
    So it's the clash of esteem and love here. Try to balance the both.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #601459
    According to me, both the things are important to one as if our both eyes. we have to manage according to the situations. We never lose one thing for another as both once gone will come never back. With boiling blood we can ignore the relationships due to our self respect but when the blood starts cool, we definitely realise the importance of relationship. Relationship are not made by us as they are created for us and there is no right in us to reject or ignore.

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