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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Everyone is selfish.

    Everyone is selfish. We are born this way; we all are inherently selfish. There is no such thing as a selfless deed. Whenever someone does something good for others, it's never because of sheer altruism. It's generally because of some guilt or a person is trying to atone for his sins or he is the one who is ultimately getting benefitted. You want others to do good in their life but never better than yourself. Whenever any of our friends succeed and is at a better place than us, our first instinct is that of jealousy. We suppress this feeling because we also care for them and enjoy their success as our own; but no matter what, we can never remove that first instinct of jealousy from our system.
    I read this somewhere that even when someone dies, we shed tears only because they are no longer around to provide us with whatever they had been for so long.
  • #601499
    Yes everyone is selfish for that matter and this particular attitude has been inherited from our elders and it cannot be wiped out. For the survival of the fittest selfish does matter and needs to be implemented. What irks everyone that as long as you prosper and progress on your own strength, there is no problem and even no objection from any one or any quarter, But the issue comes when we demand the share of others. That means when we have already taken the share of ours and even demand some portion of share of others. This kind of over selfish attitude bring unrest in the mind and unrest in the society and thus hatred, not liking one another and even planning bad against others starts. In class room, in the office, and in the real life every where selfish attitude has been spoiling the good relations and that must be restricted.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #601510
    One should n't be too selfish.I see some people are too selfish they collect alot for family.But what happened at the end;they have to leave all.Seeing their selfish act the family also becomes selfish.In this way the society becomes selfish.There are so many incidents happened due to selfish act.But being too much selfish is our end.We lose moral values and live like animals.
    Service to mankind is service to God.

  • #601512
    I completely agree with both of you, Mr. Indu Singh and Mr. K Mohan.
    We all are selfish but it is up to us to control the selfish desires of ours. We should not let these desires to a point where others are being harmed. Do what you need to do to stay happy and let others do what they need to do to make themselves happy.

    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

  • #601519
    Of course an adjective word selfish sounds good in some conditions such as in a college you must be some what selfish because in education there is a lot of competition and due to our classmate's mistake we don't have to give our text books and stud materials, if we do this we will be in great loss.
    so in competitive world we should maintain some attitude of being selfish.
    but it is very bad quality in some conditions such as if we can help the person to solve his problem , we have that capacity but we don't help him because of thinking it cause you loss. And you loss a great relationship or friendship where if you have helped him he may help you later.

    Former is the condition where we don't any alternative top think about others due to this we might at great loss hence at that we must be somewhat selfish.
    but later even having capacity to help and think about others but we don't do anything for them.
    Selfish may help you gain your own satisfaction but it causes you to break your great and sweet relationships.People avoid you due to your selfishness.

    "Having selfishness is not at all bad but all the time being selfish is a great Mistake of your life".

  • #601524
    Selfish nature will be there in always with all of us. We want to prosper. We want our daughter to stand first in the class. We want our son to be on top always. This is the human psychology There is nothing wrong in it.

    But to help yourself you should not spoil others. Like you others also will have their own wishes and aspirations. So they plan accordingly. We should not spoil them for our selfishness. That is not acceptable.

    If somebody is earning more than you. You can try hard and put some extra efforts to overtake him. But you should not create problems to the other person.
    There are people once they are satisfied with their achievements, they will try to help others. This is good. Be selfish but follow ethics.
    Play Game and be the winner. But strictly follow the rules of the game. Then You are the real winner

    drrao
    always confident

  • #601527
    Very well said, Dr.Srinivasa Rao; Be selfish but follow ethics. If we are successful, if we have achieved our goal, fulfilled our dreams; we must help others in fulfilling theirs.
    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

  • #601533
    Hai all,
    Yes every human has a selfish nature in his mind and nerves.But our selfishness should never be in such a way that we should achieve this or that by ruining others.Everything in life should be achieved through healthy terms.Be honest and no one around you should not be affected by our selfish decisions.

    Suffering is the essence of success!

  • #601538
    Hi all,

    I beg to differ with this. What I feel is selfishness is just a state of mind. If everyone was selfish in the literal sense then this world never would have existed. Imagine a farmer being selfish and not selling even a grain of rice. Now image all the rice farmers doing so. We all will starve to death if this happens. Monetary benefits will not be an appeal for him since his selfishness is far more reaching than his other needs.

    If our Mothers were selfish, then we will never have even existed. Just imagine, why would a women compromise all her beauty and health in-order to produce a child? It is because she is selfless that she is mentally able to prepare herself for that. After giving birth she takes care of the child, brings him/her up. All these are acts of selflessness. One can say a Mother is selfish about her children, but I find the word "Loving" more fitting there than selfish.

    Regards,

    Sid

    Lets all try to create a better tomorrow for India.

  • #601544
    This is an interesting and peculiar forum thread in the sense that all of us are agreeing with the author more and less.

    The universal truth that all of us are selfish is not to be debated but the degree of selfishness varies from person to person. There are people who believe in win-win situation while others say 'only I win'.

    There are people who are so selfish that they will harm others for their petty benefits. On the other hand there are few who take care of themselves but also care for others and see that others have also got their share.
    These people are considered noble in the society though their number is miniscule.

    For survival one has to be selfish but one can also survive with coexisting though that requires some sacrifice and concern for others.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #601545
    I respect your opinion Mr. Sidhartha, but consider this :-
    A farmer sells his harvest not because of selflessness but because he needs money for other purposes as well. He has his bills to pay, educate his children and many other responsibilities for which he needs money, which he gets by selling his harvest.

    I agree that a mother cares for her children selflessly. The bond between a mother and a child is sacred. But if you consider the mother as an individual, she is as selfish as any other person in this universe.

    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

  • #601548

    Happy realization! I learnt this fact a long ago.
    I being an ego-centric person found it extremely easy to understand. For me, everything starts and ends with me. I'm selfish and I don't think it's wrong. There's nothing called as selfless service as you said. We always expect a result because we committed an action. That's how life works.
    When you break it down sufficiently, even parental love turns out to be expecting.
    Love depends on expecting. You expect your partner to reciprocate your feelings.
    And there's nothing called being nice without a reason. I help people a lot, not because I'm nice. I help them because there's no other way I can keep them from leaving me.
    People donate stuff. Not because they are charitable. They lust for fame.
    If a person's being too nice and doesn't expect anything in return, the person is atoning for his past sins.
    So, your observation is absolutely right.
    There's nothing called selfless in mortal world.
    It's bitter and unsettling but that's exactly how the life is.


    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #601554
    You added a very nice point Mr. Aditya, even parental love is expecting. Whenever you succeed at anything, they feel proud and tell about your success to everyone. It makes them feel good about themselves as it is because of their upbringing, their child has done so well.
    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

  • #601555
    If everyone is branded as selfish, then who are selfless? Where do the great icons of Indian history Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teressa (St.Teressa) find a place? Are they selfish? Did they struggled in their life for fame? Even parental love is selfish - is it so?

    I totally differ with this opinion. Siddhartha has well substantiated his views and I endorse it.

    Regards,
    Jagdish

  • #601561
    A really interesting and noteworthy thread raised by the author and I agree with the author's view that everyone is selfish and most of the time expect a reciprocation of good happening whenever he does a good deed. And whenever these selfish desires overpowers any human it always leads to devastating and catastrophic results their are ample exams in history where human selfishness lead to massacres and catastrophe one such eg- is Nazi Germany under Hitler.
    But in the midst of all the selfishness human have their lies feeling of compassion, caring and attachment and all these things are not mere show off they do exist,these feelings are not totally selfless and may have somewhere little and hidden selfishness but these are the things which have made humans different from all other living organisms and his survival as a community possible on this planet.
    Otherwise If humans live with utter selfishness without suppressing Narcissist and negative aspects of selfishness our social life and society would have been suffering from total chaos and mayhem.
    We can't deny our selfish desires all the time but the fundamentals of living a worthy and peaceful life is to value the positive aspect of this selfishness and suppress negative aspect.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #601566
    These are some great personalities you have mentioned Mr. Patro, so I won't say much. You can Google it for yourself. Try googling Gandhi's dark side or selfish Gandhi, you will realise even he wasn't selfless.
    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

  • #601568
    I can accept that we are selfish in our own way.

    But I cannot agree with the statement "Whenever someone does something good for others, it's never because of sheer altruism.". There are any number of people in this world who are really altruistic. Some do so even with some self sacrifice,while some others do so without sacrificing much and do it by whatever excess they have after satisfying their own need and self satisfaction.
    Today we have a lot of comfort and conveniences because some others have did something more than for their own need and /or sacrificing something they dearly love also.
    At some stage in life people become more and more altruist and less and less selfish also. Some become so at sixteen itself, some at sixty. Some may not become so even when they are eighty or ninety also.

  • #601571
    That is one sweeping statement to state everyone is selfish. While anything one does may be construed as being done with selfish motives, it is not always so. When a person starts a project or something, then he/she has the responsibility to take care of the process to its fruition. If you produce a child, you got to take care and train till the child is grown up to take care of life and hopefully make the right choices. It doesn't matter whether someone calls it being selfish or doing it with expectancy; it just needs to be taken care of.

    While selfishness is inbuilt into man's thinking and actions, it is also possible to overcome that, and it has been done, is being done, and will continue to be done in future also. Of course it does take any or a combination of life events including divine intervention to bring this about, and it is not impossible. We can give names of famous people easily. And there are so many, many of those little people whom the world never hears or sees, and yet they go about their kindness and giving that will put us to shame when we actually open our eyes and see. You may find them in the vegetable market or as an auto driver or tailor or company manager or CEO or anywhere. It is better to appreciate the unselfishness of people than to sit at out devices and complain about all the selfishness that does abound. As long as God is around, you will always find something going on that is not done out of selfish motives. He is well able to change selfish natures around to the opposite direction if we allow him to.

    If one wants to test this out, just go ahead and visit an orphanage or homeless people or the undertrials in prisons or refugees in war zones or any of the despised people wherever and see if you change from your own self-defined characteristic. You may never be the same again, for better or worse, but you won't be the same. You can get hardened and then carry away something that will prick the conscience; or you will be determined to do something about what you saw, and do it as is, without ulterior motives.

  • #601580
    Can we say that a person is selfish just because he has some personal interest in what he does? I doubt. I think being not at all concerned about others is an important factor which would indicate whether a person is selfish or not. A selfish person thinks about himself only and is not bothered about others. Having a personal motive behind our actions would not, I feel, be sufficient to brand me as selfish; the concern or regard for others factor should be totally missing. It is a fact that I love myself more than anyone else but if I have concern for others and express it in one way or another, I personally feel that I cannot be branded as selfish irrespective of the personal interest behind my actions or words.
    'Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance'- Confucius

  • #601599
    After going through each response, this is what I feel; everyone is selfish in one way or the other, it is only the extent of selfishness that varies. It is true that there are feelings of compassion, love, care for other individuals but that does not mean that the person is not selfish. The trait of selfishness is always there along with these other emotions. Even when you help other people without any ulterior motive, you can't deny it that after helping them you think it to yourself, " I have helped these many people and God is watching. He will never do anything bad to me and something good will happen to me." No matter who you are, you can't resist this, and for me that is also selfish behavior.

    Now many people will have different opinions and would not agree with me and that is perfectly fine. Everyone has different ideology, different way of thinking. I feel that everyone interprets the meaning of selfish is their own way.
    Peace.

    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.


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