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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    What creates this difference of thinking and personality among siblings despite the same upbringing?

    We talk about the impact of upbringing on the character of a person. But have you ever thought why two persons who are brought up by the same parents in the same circumstances grow up to have different character and thought process? Give it a thought and join this discussion.

    Have you ever thought about it? Two people getting same upbringing, similar education and in the same atmosphere but both are totally different in their thought process, knowledge and personality.
    Sometime this difference is so huge that two siblings are totally at opposite poles. Even in twins we see so much of variation of personality despite both of them getting same treatment and even similar clothes.

    What is the thing which creates this difference?

    How much different do you think you are from your siblings? Are you entirely at opposite poles or you have some similarity in your thoughts and world view?
  • #601913
    Nice topic to discuss as every house can find such variations. For example in my house both my son and daughter are rankers from the nursery and as soon as they completed the 10th class their preferences were changed. Son opted for MPC stream and later went for Chemical Engineering pursuance. And my daughter after completing 10th has opted BiPC stream and now eying for the MBBS seat through NEET clearance. What I am trying to insist here that we have not forced any of our child to pursue this or that. They on their own opted the subject and surging ahead and we simply supporting them. Myself and my wife never thought that our life would be so easy to manage with the children for higher studies and they have chosen their respective stance and sticking to it. Our interference is nil.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #601935
    It is very common to have varied thoughts, knowledge and personality with in the siblings. Parents treat all their children equally. They give equal facilities to all the children. There will not be any variation. But ,by birth and God given intelligence, they may vary from one to another. There are no two exact persons in all respects. All five fingers of our hand are entirely different. No two are equal.

    Interests will change as they grow. Friend circle varies from person to person. These are the causes for differences, One son may stand first. Another may just manage.

    Parents suggestions will be same to all. They will never interfere. But sometimes they may caution one basing on the need.

    My elder son likes going to many places and wants to spend time outside more with the family. My wife is similar. But I am not very comfortable to go out always. The younger son also thinks like me. That is natural. Even there is no rule that wife and husband should have same thoughts. Similarly children.

    always confident

  • #601985
    The answer to the title question is properly explained in our traditional knowledge as due to the effects of 'poorva janma karma phalam'- the results of our acts and deeds in the previous birth. This question is always baffling people, but not those who believe in the Hindu traditional knowledge.

    Until a different convincing and satisfying explanation comes I am also believing in the poorva janma karam alogic.

  • #601997

    I think it has a lot to do with individual experiences within that confined environment. How parents raise their kids helps in defining their personalities. But, children are also individuals, with a thinking mind and a view on everything. As they grow they learn to make their own choices, they learn to judge, they learn to pick sides, they learn to stand up for the right causes, they get into bad company, they falter and fail, they fail and learn from their mistakes. They learn to decide for themselves.

    Despite being given equal opportunities and values, siblings turn out different because their perception of things varies. They begin to assert their individuality, even as toddlers. The refusal to hold a parent's hand while walking, for instance, is an assertion of their independence and free will.

    Upbringing helps enhance the personality it doesn't control them or change them completely. It can be a big influence, but it also depends on the external environment that they are exposed to. We become what we are because of our experiences. Children do not remain confined within the home - there is an outside world that they see and that has an influence on them, as well. Also, the environment at home might be restrictive, one that suppresses growth. Children in such environment either turn out to be very timid or become outright rebels.

    It's like 'allo sabzi', where even if the same ingredients have been used the taste differs because the cooks follow a different style of cooking. Parents may use similar methodologies in raising their children, but what each child absorbs and imbibes is different – because they are individual entities.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #602014
    Well, seeing that the parental upbringing was constant it's easy to understand that the neighbors and friends must have contributed to his/her character. But I don't think parents can maintain the sensitive balance of love they generate at a time. It is sure that at any given time one of the siblings would be loved or attended to more.
    So the person tries to quench his ration of attention from someone else. And your companions help a great deal to construct your character. So one must always be cautious about the relationships one makes.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #602079
    Every individual is biologically designed differently and two persons can not be similar. Even the siblings raised in same enviroment will behave differently because of the inherent different arrangement of DNA and genes.

    Siblings raised in same environment will have some similarity of behaviour but in comparison to their full personality it will be negligible. This is something to do with randomeness of production of each human being and still a matter of medical research.

    Knowledge is power.

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