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  • Category: Creative Writing

    An unusual story of an unhappy ribbon

    [This story is the joint winner of the first prize for the story contest]

    In the lazy afternoon, the middle-aged housewife completes her household task. Entering her room, she opens the old trunk. The trunk contains many objects of her childhood days, old books, slate, old photos, pencil, etc. The lady starts taking out the objects one by one, cleans these and again keeps the items in the box. After sometime she takes out me, the orange ribbon which was her favourite during school days. But her reaction is now different. She holds me; suddenly she shudders in fear and throws me back to the box. She abruptly closes the box. Her mind travels backward. I fully understand her feelings. Along with her, I also start the journey to a distant past.

    ………....

    The name of the village was Sudhanyakhali. The village was bordering Sundarban. The people of the village lived with Royal Bengal Tiger in the land and Crocodile and 'Kamoth' (a small shark found in the rivers of Sunderban) in water. But people were more afraid of snakes than tiger or crocodile.

    There was no electricity in this primitive village. However, very recently a school started functioning. The parents of the little girl admitted her in the school. The girl was very enthusiastic. Every morning her mother tied her luxuriant hair with a green ribbon and an orange ribbon. The innocent girl enjoyed the experience of tying her hair. She took care of the ribbons as her most valuable asset.

    On that eventful evening, the little girl started studying sitting on the floor of the small hut. Her mother was busy in the kitchen and her father was talking to his friends outside. The kerosene lamp was providing inadequate light in the room where the girl was studying. Suddenly the girl noticed something under the bed. How was it possible? That was a beautiful ribbon! Three ribbons were intertwined-black, orange and green! And why was it lying under the bed? The girl was very excited and immediately crawled under the bed.

    The girl's mother was astonished by the painful cry of the little girl. Her father immediately entered the room hearing the cry with his friends. The girl was lying on the floor and crying: "The ribbon bit me". Immediately her father understood. He took her out and put her on the lap of her mother. Immediately thereafter, he started hitting the Krait, the most venomous snake of Sundarban. hiding under the bed. The snake was beautiful-just like a ribbon of black, orange, and green.

    Her mother started crying. But their neighbour, the Biology teacher of the school, took charge. He took a blade and cut the wound of the girl. He pressed the area to take out the blood mixed with poison. Then he put a tourniquet just above the bite mark. He used all force to tie it on the hand of the little girl. Even then he was not satisfied. He took another rope and tied it one inch above the first tourniquet. Some neighbors went to fetch the boatman. The boatman immediately agreed to take the girl to the Gosaba Health Centre, where anti-venom injection was available.

    At the dead of night, the girl's parents and the Biology teacher took the girl to Gosaba Health Centre crossing Matla river. They reached there after 10 p.m. The on-duty physician immediately injected the anti-venom serum. After continuous effort for more than six hours, the girl came out of danger.

    In the morning, the girl returned home. Her mother, entering the room, threw away the green ribbon. However, the orange ribbon (i.e., me) somehow managed to find place inside the old box.

    …………….

    That is the unusual story of me; an unhappy, unused orange ribbon.

    (Competition entry: Me, a ribbon - creative writing contest)
  • #602669
    The author has narrated the story very nicely. Each scene has been described in a very detailed manner. It was nice to read it.
    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

  • #602670
    Many of us are fond of keeping things and article which are very dear to us during the childhood and the author has really brought the ribbon story in that context. Good effort.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #602674
    A very nicely narrated story by the author. A good reading. Old memories are always not sweets some times they are fearful also. Nice going.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #602678
    Very nicly narrated story with realstic scenes and places , which make the story seem like a true story.
    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #602690
    Wonderful like always. You narrated it so well.
    Plot twists were amazing.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #602872
    A good narration. All the elements of a good story are there. The snake and the ribbon - the correlation is well knitted by the author.

    Well done and good luck.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #602941
    A very much good married story by the writer and he was written a good imaginary story of a woman.
    The ribbon story is nice and so much good to read it.

    Reguards -
    Sukanya

  • #602945
    'Married story'?
    Caution: Explosive. Handle with care.


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