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  • Category: Creative Writing

    A Terrifying Tale of Ten ribbons

    [This entry exceeded the word limit & did not end with the word 'ribbon']

    Officers Jenny and Wilson arrive at the scene. They saw a girl in her late teens lying cold on the ground with a puddle of blood around her head. She was an attractive looking girl and her hair was tied in a red ribbon matching the puddle of blood around her.
    "Wilson. The building is 50 feet high. Locals heard the thud and called us right away. Come secure the scene quickly with me."
    Wilson searched for the barricade tape in his bag. "Jenny!" he cried,"it's not here! The tape. I must have forgotten it."
    "How could you be so careless! Wait! We need to come up with something. Hey wait. I see something yellow in your bag. Pull it out", ordered Jenny.
    "Oh! these are my daughter's ribbons. She used quite a lot of yellow ones for a project. Wait! I know. We can write 'Do not cross' on them and secure the scene for time being."
    Wilson and Jenny got to their work quickly. They heard a police car approaching.
    "I'm detective Luke. I'll take this from here", said a man stepping out of the car.
    He saw the "barricade tape" made by the officers and commented,"You two are very creative. So which room did this girl live in?"
    Jenny answered with utmost obedience," Room no- 505 sir!".

    The door leading to the room was opened and a decoration of bright green colored ribbons caught their eyes even in the dark. It said, 'Happy birthday Homer'.
    "Wilson. Find out who this Homer is. All the decorations look intact." Luke sniffed the air." The food is freshly made too. I'd say 3-4 hours before. But no one was here. Victim must have prepared all of these by her own to surprise Homer. I'm sure he must be her boyfriend".
    After two hours of scavenging and scanning, Wilson and Jenny returned to Luke.
    Jenny went first" Sir! We called Homer after finding him in victim's contact. But he doesn't lift. But sir, why do you think she was murdered? You see, the window's open and she fell to her death".
    Luke smiled,"Victim, Aisha, comes from a very conservative yet wealthy Muslim family. And I've done a bit of research on Homer too. It seems that they had been in relationship for three years. Aisha's father was strictly against their relationship because Homer was a Jew. A tale of vengeance?"

    Two days later, Homer's body was found in a trash bin nearby Aisha's murder scene. "He died the same day as her. But he was unfortunate and wasn't discovered until now. Now, our prime suspect, Aisha's father hasn't visited New York anytime lately. So, the murderer was already in Aisha's room when she was preparing for Homer's birthday", concluded Luke.

    It's been a week now. Two other young women suffered the same fate as Aisha. Luke concluded that these seemingly random deaths are infact connected. "Aisha, the first victim wore a red ribbon at the time of her death. The second victim Nina, wore an orange ribbon. The third victim Kelly wore a blue ribbon. I want their ribbons checked immediately for clues."

    Wilson came running to Luke,"Take a look at this box. There are 10 ribbons and each of different color inside it. It is quite possible that the killer might have bought this box to mark his kills. He never used the same color until now. He hunts young women and that's all we know."
    Luke said patiently "We have no other choice but to wait until he finishes one box. He has to kill seven more. And he probably strangles them and throws them off their windows. He's pure evil. He kills for fun and nothing else. We can't intervene even if we wanted."

    Luke's phone ringed. The news was unsettling. Officer Jenny was found dead near her house and she wore a pink ribbon. Wilson swore," I'm going to capture that pig and boil him alive".
    Luke however kept composure and searched for leads in Jenny's phone. There was a video recording which showed the killer's face. Jenny was brave even during her last moments.

    Soon the video went viral and a reward was announced on the name of the "Ribbon killer".
    Shortly after three months the ribbon killer was captured and executed.
    Luke came home happily and called out for his wife. There was no answer. Luke searched the entire house but he couldn't find her. A terrible stench from a sidewalk caught his attention.
    His wife was lying dead there and she wore a yellow ribbon with 'Do not cross' written on it.
  • #602759
    The terrifying tale of ten ribbons was well conceived and well thought out content which needs more patient to read and understand. Good try from the author.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #602773
    I liked the ending of the story very much. I didn't see that coming; it was surprising and hence made the story interesting. Very good effort by the author.
    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

  • #602774
    This story was different genre than stories I have usually read in stories of ISC contest, it was well narrated moreover the suspense it has in the end makes it more unique , I enjoyed reading it , really good effort by author.
    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #602818
    A good attempt by the author. A detective story. The story is nice to read and a different story in all respects. Why ten ribbons, whether are ten are completed or not is still a mystery for me. Good story.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #602875
    A typical detective ribbon story. It tested my patience. Yet I read it and enjoyed it. Best wishes.
    No life without Sun ¤

  • #603336
    Really good story with all thrilling elements involved in it.


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