I saw the love behind that pain.I was so excited to go to a new place, my mom was packing things for me in the suitcase. I was too happy to bother why she was not happy. What made her sad? She was giving me way too many instructions which were bouncing off my head. All I knew was that I am going to a new place where there will be many other kids. I was very excited to make new friends.
We went to the railway station where I spoke a lot asking my mom many questions but with every answer, there was a heaviness in her voice. When the train arrived my mom couldn't stop crying, I got inside and waited for them to get in. But only my dad got in along with me. She didn't come with us. As the train left I peeped through the windows to still see her crying. I knew not why. I was confused. But I soon forgot about and got excited about the new place.
The very next day we reached our destination, I was given a cot and a place to keep my stuff along with other children. My dad was also with me in this new place and I thought it's going to be like this forever. We bought new school bag, books, tiffins etc. He was there with me for almost a week, I got adjusted to the new surroundings, and other mates. Everything was disciplined over here, there was a timetable for everything, I was a bit afraid initially but since my father was there I was at ease.
Almost a week later, while I was in the class, the school peon came to the class to call me saying that I have a visitor.
I went to the visiting room and saw my father sitting there. I was so happy to see him in the school that too during the school timings. I gave him a tight hug, but his eyes were red. He started giving me same instructions like my mom. A list of to-do's and don'ts, I felt like he was going to leave me, but I was so sure that he wouldn't leave me all alone among these new people.
In the end, he said, be like a good girl saying so he said he will be returning home by train that evening. He told me to get back to class and left the visiting room. I wondered what he meant by he was returning home by train that evening. All thoughts started clouding my mind, how will I be alone over here, where is he going? Why is he not taking me along?
By the time I realised that when I'll return back from school he won't be at the new place where we were staying, I felt that my whole world was darkened. I didn't go to my class, I saw him almost reaching the school gate to leave. I ran behind him to stop him from leaving me in this new place, but he had already stepped out of the school gate and he saw me running towards him. The watchman didn't let me go outside, he closed the gate seeing me running towards him. My dad stood in the gate and through my tears I saw his tears as well but he left me crying in the school gate. I kept banging the metal school gate wailing loudly to take me home along with him. But he was far beyond my scream now. No-one could console me at that time, there was nothing that could stop my tears from flowing.
That's when I understood that my parents had decided to put me in a HOSTEL. The pain I saw in my mother's eye while the train departed and the pain I saw in my father's eye when he left me behind the school gate still lingers in my mind.
It took me a while to understand that the place where my parents stayed didn't have good schooling so they had to chose to put me in a hostel where I would get a better education.
I saw the love behind that pain.
PS: This was the thought process of an 8-year-old girl.