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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Have you stayed away from your parents during school or college days?


    We miss our children, but have we ever thought about our parents? This thread is a reminder, quite serious in the present day context, and need to be discussed considering the different aspects of life that is involved. Please join in with your thoughts.



    When we are with our children and move with them daily, carrying on the daily routines, we would be the happiest. But when it comes to parting even for few days, it looks like we are lost in the world and would be like nothing. My son was away to Rourkela for a college project work and he would return only on 11th Oct. All these years he was always with us and won't even go to relatives or friends house for a night stay. But since day before yesterday we miss him a lot and the house seems to be with nil activities without him.
  • #610790
    During my college studies, I was away from my parents. During my graduation, I used to stay in a place near Kakinada with my mother's parents. All the three years I was with them. After B.Sc I moved to Vizag for M.Sc, and I stayed in the hostel for two years. After that, I was always away from my parents only. But till I completed my PhD after my M.Sc, I moved out of the hostel and was staying with all my brothers and sisters. I am the eldest among all of them.
    I used to go to my parents during the vacation in my graduation and post graduation. After I will be visiting them as per the availability of leave and time.
    My elder son was in Vizag for two years for his 2nd and 3 class with my brothers and sisters. After that, both the sons are with me only during their studies. My elder son was in Bangalore for 2years 6 months with my brother for his first job. Afterwards, he came back to Hyderabad. Working in Infosys. The second sons were in Chennai and Bangalore for 2 years 6 months for his job, later on, he was shifted to Hyderabad. Presently he is working in TCS. Both of them got married. We all six stay together in Hyderabad now.
    I also feel lonely if I miss them for 2 or 3 days when they go out of the station with their families for vacation.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #610834
    It is a fact that if children move away from us, the parents, we will definitely feel sorry and left alone. At the same time we cannot avoid it. It is for the benefits of both the children and parents. I felt highly missing when my younger son left for US to attend to his duties assigned by the firm (Infosys). He was going for the first time to a foreign country. Until he reached there and settled we were disturbed. He returned on leave only after one year. Next time, after the leave period, he went back to US we did not feel much. This became a routine affair after two or three years.
    T.M.Sankaran
    Gold Member ISC

  • #610837
    No, I have never stayed away from my parents. After my marriage, it was the first time I was staying away from them. My father was strictly against sending me to hostel or to a far away place. He wanted us to be always with him so that he can take care of us. I have often felt that my dad was not ready to take risks when it comes to his children. He had the fear that what if something happens to us and he can't reach, so he always made sure that we are with him and he always came with us wherever we wanted to go. May be because we are girls, he wanted us to be safe.

    After marriage when I went to my husband's house, it was a real bad time for me and my parents as it was the first time we were staying away from each other.

    Regards
    Chitra
    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #610852
    Moving away from parents and staying apart would have been a major event the remember for people a few decades ago, now this may not be such a big emotional task as for reasons of work, education and ease of travel people are forced to move apart for different parts of the city or country. In major metros there are many children who stay in hostels for their college education as daily travel becomes time-consuming, these students become weekend visitors at home. Students preparing for entrance exams go to different state or stay as a group away from home.

    Once they are ready to start their careers again the children move away within the country or overseas, its a mix of emotions that affect parents, joy on one hand that their children are getting a chance to move up in life, visit and work in a foreign land, on the other hand, the pangs of separation.

    A few years back, I had a stint abroad, remember the stuff packed by mother (powders, pickle and dry food items for cooking), money was given by father and brothers, even calling me they used to insist on call from the local telephone booth ( a rarity now a days) fearing that I would not have much money left. Gradually over a year's time we got adjusted to living apart.

  • #610858
    I left my home at the age of 9 years for education. My native place is a small town where the education was not proper during those days, but my father was determined to provide us the better education. So he prepared me for entrance examination of Banasthali Vidyapith (now it is Banasthali University) as he was having reviews like to get admission in Banasthali is very difficult and only scholars can get the same. But fortunately I got admission in 6th standard.
    Since then I stayed there till my Post Graduation in Biotechnology. I used to come home twice a year for Diwali and summer breaks.
    Initial days were very difficult for me to stay away from home but the wardens were very friendly and I adjusted easily.
    I have seen my mother crying while saying good byes to me after vacations, I have heard heavy voice of hers while having a phone call, have seen her red eyes filled with pain of living away from her child but my father is strong enough to hide his feelings.
    Now, when I am a mother, I can understand their situation. I still remember the first day of my kid; he was going happily and was very excited. On other hand, I was very nervous about leaving him even for 4 hours only.

    Padmini

    Living & Learning- simultaneous processes!

  • #610882
    Yes, I have and it still makes me emotional when I think of that moment. It's still so strong in my heart, I did try to pen it down in few words in this thread

  • #610917
    I left home when I was 16. I used to meet my parents once a year only. Similarly, my daughter left home for her higher studies for six long years, and thereafter she was working in far away places. Same way, my son too left for higher studies in Chennai, Delhi and China. Since the communication technology keeps us close through Mobiles, e-mail Facebook, WhatsApp and Skype etc, We don't feel the separation.
    No life without Sun

  • #610957
    Yes, it is really tough for parents to live without their child, but they do it, for the career and happiness of their child, and for their future. It is really hard for them. I have lived in hostel for a period of five years during my graduation, and that was the moment I used to miss my family a lot and cried when they used to call me. But as an year passed, I started to realize that whatever happens is for betterment. When I will start working, they will be happy to see me. In the beginning my mother told me, that my father used to cry at times for me, but slowly and steadily the habit maintains and we get used to of the things. It is all a part of life. Another experience for all of us.
    A positive attitude will lead to positive results.

  • #610978
    Oh, Its very emotional question and the answer is Yes. How lucky they are who live with their Parents. I never forget those days when I live in Hostel during my School days. I never got Especially my Mother Love because I lost her in Childhood. My Father lives in another city for the Job Purpose so I cant get any chance to lives with my Parents. After school, I start my College there are very helpful teachers and friends I found. It's very tough to accept that My parents do not live with me. And I never try to accept it because I know their Blessings always with me. Sometimes we don't understand the value of the person or things which I have that time but when they are not in our life then we realize that how silly we are. It's not about hurting anyone it's about me.

  • #611023
    My schooling up to 4th class I was in Home after that 5th(residential) again 8th class,9th class,10th class and Intermediate two years are residential and after that one year, I was in the residential system. Degree at my home and P.G are at my sister home.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #611209
    The answer is yes, It is really emotional for the parents to stay without their children and vice versa. But in reality we should accept the fact that for better education and for the children's future, we have to go for the school or college which provides them the best future. I was in hostel for 4 yrs during my college days, in the beginning it was very difficult for me and my parents to stay away each other. But as days go on I got good friends and good teachers who made me comfortable. I too understood my responsibility and begin to adjust the environment. Now I m working. It's been nearly 9 years now I am staying away from home and now I feel good that only because of the college where I studied I am in a good position. And also I have become more responsible and have learnt how to handle things alone. Even Though staying away from parents is very difficult for both children and parents, parents console yourself that it is the first step for development of your children's future.

  • #611230
    I finished my early education at a boarding school. I left my home at the tender age of 6 years for education as I used to live in village and there were no good schools there. Although I was not sad when parting from my parents because I was excited to visit the city. But all my excitements were lost once I was there in the hostel because other students always used to tell me to think of my parents, how my mother loved me, how much I missed my freedom in the village, how I missed my friend, their sole aim was to see me crying. I studied till 5 standard there. We used to visit our home during holidays and festivals. But when we used to visit the hostel again many students used to cry for few days remembering their parents and especially their mothers. Those starting week after a holiday used to be the hardest time for us. I had heard many of them crying inside bathrooms and under blankets. Even I had cried but not in the frequency others did.
    It's very painful for every child to stay away from parents and at that time I used to think that when I will have children I will not enroll them in a boarding school because I have experienced the pain of separation and how the memories of home haunts young minds.

  • #611231
    From the above sharing those who were away from the parents do felt the pain of parting and that is what I want to stress in this thread.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease


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