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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Should there always be a motive behind helping someone?

    Everyone needs help at sometime or the other from people around them ( colleagues, relatives, friends etc). Our relationships are sometimes complex, we live in a world where in people are not what they say they are and the kind hearted people often feel duped or let down.

    Many bitter experiences make people always think twice when someone offers to help them readily. Sometimes instead of thanking people for coming forward, we tend analyze as to why should this person help me/us?, what is the reason behind his or her willingness to help?

    So, Should there always be a motive behind helping someone?

    Kindly share your views or experiences.
  • #610922
    Help with a motive or expectation is not at all a help. We should help volunteer but the same may give either facelift or insult and we have to do our own effort without considering both.

  • #610937
    Help should be extended without any expectation. It is great if we can help a person who refused to help you when you are in need. This is what my elders taught me. Expecting something for your help from the receiver is a business. It can't be treated as help. If you help when somebody is in need, you will receive help from unexpected areas when you are in need. This is the belief with which one should help others.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #610951
    In most of the cases help is extended without expecting anything in return. There may be some people who extend a help purposefully expecting in future the same can be capitalised. In fact it is not a help. It is advancing something in the form of cash or thing or even as service. Later when suitable occasion comes return of the same will be demanded. Perhaps, certain politicians make use of this approach. If he/ she happen to contest an election the return help will be demanded in the form of vote.
    T.M.Sankaran
    Gold Member ISC

  • #610954

    Help should be free of cost and free from any motives and expectations. But since there are different species living in this world with a different attitude and a different brain, so all think differently. Helping is a great aspect of a human being. Being a human you can always and should always try to help others. If we help someone even for a small cause, that person remembers us throughout his life, but if we help out of an expectation or a motive , that should never be called a help but a 'contract' or a 'deal'. People do not try to help others, is because the lack of trust in them. Many people are being cheated and hurt so badly by there closed ones, that they get worried in helping someone. So, they remain way behind in being a helping hand. While some people give help out of expectations that If I can help him, why not he, when I need him. So, everybody follows a different approach.


    A positive attitude will lead to positive results.

  • #610993
    I think if we feel like helping someone, do it but don't expect anything in return. If there is a motive behind you helping some one then might as well don't help. We need to agree that people are of different types hence there will people around us falling into both the categories. Who know tomorrow we might need help from others, so help someone today so that they can be of help to you tomorrow.
    Regards
    Chitra
    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #611017
    Well not all people are expecting something in return for their favor shown. Some people are real helpers and philanthropists who would never allow to know their names to the favor receiver. There are people who are yearning for a good companion or friend and in that regard they are ready to share their home or the portion for free. This we cannot term it is favor for any future motive to help them in return. In fact when some one helps us during the crisis, we are duty bound to return them with some favor or the other. It may be through cash or kind and that depends on our motive. A mother favor to the child is without any motive. This is the great example we can cite for this post. Mother always wants her child to develop and flourish and she wont keep anything with her. All her works are aimed at development of child and their future.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #611047
    Thanks for all the replies, we all agree that help should be given without expecting anything in return.

  • #611050
    Motive for helping someone depends upon the situation on a case by case basis.

    While it seems to be the honorable and the right thing to help someone else without any motives, it is not necessarily so. We know how those with exploitive mindset and deceptive actions help others to extract profit from their victims' vulnerability. Why not do the same to the help with a motive to improve the recipients' lives and character? Why do we want to give up the field to wrongdoers? If one knows to do good, he can freely teach others to do good also, after they recover from their situations.

    Never mind people's opinions – you wouldn't want to help a drunk man who promises to use your help to pull himself out of his troubles, but keeps proving his friendship with alcohol? When you give him something you ought to emphasize that your help is not to be wasted upon the bottle. Otherwise you don't even value what you have with you.

    How does this sound? You sponsor college fees to a needy student, tell him nothing or tell him "Here's the receipt for you fees paid; do whatever you want; skip classes, vandalize or whatever; I will keep paying fees. I am honorable person, and I will never fail to keep paying for you". I don't know but I'd assume you'd say something like "Study well, focus and get high grades" etc. the aim would be to pull the person out of a difficult situation to where they recover and manage to be productive.

    Of course, in an emergency one is moved to act fast to do something (risk own life to pull someone who fell on train tracks, emergency housing etc) but at other times one has time to observe the ground realities better and take wise and planned steps to doing whatever.

    Some people will never accept free, so that the money/service given can be returned without interest (or 1 Rupee interest). This saves face for the receiver. Or one can ask the receiver to pass it on to some other needy person they come across in their life at a point in future. This keeps the cycle of kindness flowing and not get stuck. And it prevents loan sharks sucking the life out of the person in need.

    As far as I understand, even God gives with a motive. He takes people where they are at, and loves unconditionally to improve their lives and also says, "Freely you have received, freely give".


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