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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Are we really listening to the person speaking to us?

    We never think about listening as much as we think about speaking. Hearing and listening are often interchanged but are different entities. Often at home, at work or at social events, we are in a conservation, but we just hear the speaker and do seldom make an effort to listen. Even when we listen, we often listen with a preconceived mind of how to answer or rebut back at the speaker.

    True listening is important as it conveys the message to the person opposite to you that yes I am interested in what you are saying, I understand and I am paying attention to the substance of your words or conversation. This automatically brings a bonding between the two people, the speaker and the listener. Now when we apply this to relationships, conversations we have with our children, friends and in our profession with colleagues and clients, it would make a world of difference and pay rich dividends by strengthening the rapport.

    Next time try to remember - Hearing is physical and involuntary which just needs the hearing apparatus to be working. Listening is an art, a task of the mind and needs undivided attention.
  • #612829
    Many people hear but don't listen. When I go home in the evening my wife will inform me certain things. I hear. Again the next days she asks me whether I have carried out the work. I tell her I don't know. She will get annoyed. She says you never listen to me, for everything you say yes and finally you will not do anything. Many times this happens. These days I started listening to her. I noted down the works to be carried out. Now she is happy.
    Many times we listen to answer. But we should listen to understand. Once you understand the issue properly you can answer it better. But we will always go with a preconceived idea and try to put forward the same without listening to the other party properly. So make it a point to listen before answering or discussing or arguing.

    always confident

  • #612833
    Even I have noticed that, people including me are interested in speaking more than listening. There are exceptions, I agree. Even at the lunch table at office, when someone says their story, others are eager to narrate theirs and is not ready to give anyone else a chance. Listening ability is way less when compared to speaking ability. Actually we should listen more to learn more and to understand better. Also to have a good relationship, listening to the other person is very important. It is not that we don't listen, but not to everything, we listen to things we like and to people whom we like, like the special ones.
    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #612841

    Frankly speaking no one today wants to listen. Every one is ready with his speech only thing he should be given an opportunity. I have seen some people who do not listen to you at all. You may be irritated or angry but they simply smile and sneak away.

    It is strange that some people have this trait and it becomes really difficult to tolerate them for a longer period.

    In fact listening is supposed to be a better way of gaining or acquiring the data or the information or the knowledge being imparted by the other person and a good listener is the ultimate winner. He does not lose his energy in unnecessary indulgences. He is focused and finds out the pearls out of even the worst verbal outbursts.

    So it is not only the speaking which is an art, listening is also equally important.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #612844
    We hear through our ears but listen with our hearts. You cannot hear silence but you can listen to it. So, hearing is different from listening though we use both the words to mean the same thing in common parlance. We hear so many sounds, including words spoken, around us but we listen to only those to which we feel inclined to. And that inclination is that which makes the difference.

    Listening involves understanding the need and emotion of the person who is speaking. When a person who is speaking realizes that we are listening to him, it gives him strength and the confidence to proceed further. Hearing cannot be said to be voluntary but listening is a voluntary act that is strictly under your control. Conversation may take place just by hearing but listening is an integral part of communication. How do the hearing and speech impaired people communicate? They don't speak but watch your expressions and gestures and in doing so they listen to each other.

    I agree that we have lost the patience to listen and most of us do not have time for that but, please lend your ears to someone who wants you to listen; it may be your parents, children, friends, relatives or even a stranger, a small portion of your time and a bit of patience can bring in lot many changes.

    I am not sure whether someone told me or whether I had read it somewhere, but I would like to conclude with an incident that comes to my mind. A person received a frantic call from an acquaintance while he was busy getting ready for office. He told him that he will call back once he reached his office. But it was the news of his suicide that awaited him when he reached the office. A little bit of patience, a single moment of his busy schedule and may be a word of consolation could have averted the unfortunate incident. It may be fate, but he would not have had to have regretted all through that he could not do his bit to save a life.

    So, do speak and do hear, but do have a heart and listen too.

    'He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.'- Elbert Hubbard.

  • #612847
    I always follow the rule of more listening than me talking to others. By giving more listening chance to others, we are treated with new information and many matters of greater interest. However if we talk to others and if they wont give the credence to our talk, then our energy goes waste. Talk to them those who respect us. Those who seek guidance from us and those who care us. In a discourse listening is most important so that at the end of the session questions are asked as to how far you have understood the matter. So listening is the big thing for every one and I am a apt listener.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #613199
    Excellent replies and instances where people just hear at home or at work. Glad that we all agree that listening is far better than hearing and it encourages mutual respect.

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