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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    A question about dowry-related torture

    We regularly get the news of dowry-related death. We get to know many cases of dowry-related torture and violence. In some cases, the complaints are correct. In some cases, the complaints are false. But let us forget about the false cases for the time being. Let us take the real complaints where dowry-related torture takes place.

    We also get the the information that the groom's mother, sister(s) and other female relatives in dowry-related cases are the main culprits. Police arrests the female relatives of the groom on account of torture. In fact, more females are arrested for such torture.

    Why do the women commit such gruesome acts of violence on another woman? Don't they feel pain? Don't they realise the pain of another woman? Why doesn't any other woman in the groom's place stand in support of the bride? Why do the female neighbours maintain silence? Isn't there any solidarity among women?
  • #615445
    They might have experienced that problem with their mother in law and husband's sisters. They all might have suffered a lot and they want to take the revenge. As they can not take the revenge on them they feel happy by troubling the who came to their house. Do you agree my logic here. This is what comes to my mind after seeing your question. These days if you see the various tv serials almost all the tv serials will have lady anti heroes only. They try various options to eliminate the opposition. These serials are giving all negative points to. The viewers. Generally these cases will involve mainly ladies only. A fight between likes and equals will be worth seeing than fight between unequals. So fight will be between ladies only and that is why whenever there are dowry cases police will first start with ladies only.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #615485
    Dowry system is the great menace and curse on the bride family as day in day our the face between the newly wedded couple and boys parents do take place on the issue of dowry if it was given less than agreed. In Telangana and AP though modern people deny that they are not accepting any dowry and married the girl for free, surely there are fixed rates for qualification and job done by the groom , and the dowry becomes compulsory for the girls father to part with. Some times keeping in view the impending marriage expenses, some amount is being with hold with the request that it will be paid later. This assurance plays spoil sport in many families if the difference of opinion crops in any matter in daily routine and thus the harassment of girl starts at the in laws house and that turns out to be hell for her to live and she bothers the father to pay or face the consequence in future. This is the fact I revealed. Really dowry system has to be abolished once for all.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #615488
    Mr. Mohan: This thread tries to discuss women's role in dowry-related torture. Why do the women of grooms' family take part in demeaning/insulting another woman, who has joined their family?
    Caution: Explosive. Handle with care.

  • #615492
    Dowry is a bad system. These days we are not hearing much of the cases. In a dowry-related case, the first culprit is the Groom. The Bride comes to his house with full faith in him. It is the duty of the Groom to take care of her and protect her. I do not know why the female relatives of the Groom are singled out in this thread for the torture of the Bride. Where from the author derived that the number of female relatives arrested is more than men? Is there any statistical data about it? I searched the internet and did not find anything to support it.

    The torture of the Bride demanding more dowry is a heinous crime. The authour has brought out a problem which requires a serious thought and action. The Government has already passed an act 498 A of IPC, which allows the arrest of the family members of the Groom without any investigation if a complaint is filed by the wife or her close relative. This act is being misused by some women as there is no penalty for a false case. The family of the Bride has to prove that they are innocent. Recently the Supreme Court observed the misuse of 498A and gave a direction stopping the immediate arrest of Groom's family without investigation.

    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #615494
    "In fact, more females are arrested for such torture."

    What a vile thread – you distort facts. Based on your trail of misleading threads should we surmise that 'more men' misrepresent facts? It wouldn't be a very intelligent thing to do – would it!

    I have a similar question for you as posed by KVRR - Do you have statistics to corroborate your statement or are you indulging in spreading false propaganda, based on hearsay? Do not make statements, without substantiating them with factual data – doing so actually amounts to rumormongering.

    Who are these people who demand dowry and then go on to torture and even kill women – going to the extent of burning them alive? Such savageness. Instead of drawing focus on women, it would have been pertinent to identify the communities that indulge in dowry-related crimes. Do they have no sympathies for women belonging to their own religion? What a shame.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #615498
    Normally the husband sister plays spoil sport along with the mother in law , much malign and damage is caused to the daughter in law. This has been happening since eras as the Nanan thinks that new daughter in law should not be regarded as the daughter by her mother and hence plays such dramas.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #615503
    I gathered the following information from the Wikipedia - The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) statistics for the year 2012 show that almost two lakh people were arrested for dowry-related offences and the number of women charged and arrested for the crime was 47, 951. That comes to less than 0.25%. This little fact debunks the claim that "In fact, more females are arrested for such torture"

    This thread is raised to malign women. Members should not indulge in this kind of behaviour. When you speak against a people, do so with your facts in place. Do not mislead people with statements that you think to be right.

    A crime is a crime - question why it happens and you will get the answer to why women within families participate in dowry harassment. A woman marries a man. It is he who allows his family to harass his wife. Such torture cannot be possible without his knowledge and consent.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #615509
    Mr. Partha may be wrong in his statistics but even I am getting doubt, with extreme respect to women, why some women folks follow the male chauvinist when he is not treating his wife properly. They should at least advise him not to do so. Why they are singing chorus to the autocratic person? From Juana madam's statistics, at least 25 percent women are doing so. What is the reason behind it?

  • #615512
    I want to state the following:-

    1. It is true that when a wife is tortured for dowry, main responsibility goes to the husband-there is no doubt about it.
    2. But why don't the women in the in-laws' place have any sympathy on the bride? Why do they take such prominent part in torturing another woman?
    3. 47,951 out of two lakh: The percentage is 23.9755. It is not 'less than 0.25%'.
    4. How is dowry related to religion? The dowry related torture is witnessed among every community in India.
    5. We can't solve a problem if we don't admit the existence of the problem or refuse to pin-point the causes of the problem.

    Caution: Explosive. Handle with care.

  • #615528
    Sad to state that,in Bangalore a few days ago, a young lady commited suicide just a week after her marriage, nobody knows the details, the husband's family state they are innocent, the girl's family are asking for a probe as they suspect foul play. Such events casts a suspicion on the bridegroom and his family.
    Dowry related issues arise not because of the bridegroom alone, often there would be a direct or indirect influence of male and female members of the groom's family. Most victims when they come out in the open with their harassment issues, they name the husband, in-laws (father in law,mother in law brother in law and sister in law). Men and women are responsible for the unfair treatment of the new daughter in law. If the entire family unites against the daughter in law, there is no question of anyone standing up to it. What's more worrying is if the girl calls her parents, they would often pacify her and make her stay with the husband, rather than asking her to come home.
    We need to over come the stranger in the rank mentality and treat the daughter in law as another human being first and then we can treat her as a family member. Lastly parents of the bride should raise their daughters in a way that she is able to pickup warning signs of harassment and she should hesitate and infact feel free to call any of her family member or even return back to her mother's home if need be.

  • #615576
    Bhuvan,
    1. Please note the figure was with respect to the arrests that were made and not the convictions. You are innocent until proven guilty

    Partha,
    1. 0.25% was an error. It should read less than 25%
    2. The 'why' can be answered only by the people involved
    3. Dowry cases reported in the newspapers invariably belong to a particular community

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #615603
    @Partha:

    In your response 615512, you are trying to find fault with the calculation of Ms Juana. You are certainly on the wrong side with your statement "In fact, more females are arrested for such torture." Never ever try to provide wrong information. Accept the mistake committed knowingly or unknowingly.

    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #615604
    I think the original topic of the discussion is getting diverted by finding faults of others.

    Juana ma'am, I know that we are not guilty until we are not proven. But it applies to both the genders. So, the 25 percent remains same. My question was why these 25 percent women are supporting their male kith and kin?

    We can't leave the topic by saying that only those can answer the question who got involved in it. If that is the case, we couldn't have so many threads which are discussed on other types of crimes.

  • #615605
    #615576 and #615603:

    1. I am not trying to find fault. There was a huge error and I have only pointed it out. There is nothing great and anyone could have done it.
    2. It is true that according to the statistics of NCRB, less than 25% people who were arrested for dowry-related violence in 2012, I still believe (it is not a half-truth) that most of the accused in dowry cases are woman. It is not misogynistic attitude, for me it is very painful.
    3. I wanted to discuss the current trend of dowry-related violence and the reason why even women take part in such violence against another woman. This is definitely not a man-woman debate.
    4. I believe that dowry related violence is prevalent in all religious communities in India. But response (#615576) states otherwise. So, let us see:-
    (a) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_in_India#cite_note-39 ('Dowry deaths in India is not limited to any specific religion, and it is found among Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs and others. The ratio of dowry deaths are about the same as the ratio of population in India by religions')
    (b) Article: Dowry among Indian Muslims: Ideals and Practices by Abdul Waheed
    (c) Article: The Impact of the Dowry System in Christian Communities by A. Vimal Kumar

    Caution: Explosive. Handle with care.

  • #615609
    #615576
    "Dowry cases reported in the newspapers invariably belong to a particular community"

    Are you reading all the newspapers which is published across India? I am asking the same question which you asked to author of this thread.

    Do you have statistics to corroborate your statement or are you indulging in spreading false propaganda on a specific community based on hearsay? Do not make statements, without substantiating them with factual data – doing so actually amounts to rumor-mongering.

    Thanks,
    Suresh.

  • #615619
    Partha,

    What is your source? Still waiting for the data – the facts and figures!

    Please keep the discussion relevant to your post; don't catch a line from my response in a bid to dilute your comments.

    The Wikipedia mentions ratios, when women are being killed for dowry do we look at ratios and be satisfied that the proportion across communities is the same? That does not reduce the numbers.

    The Abdul Waheed article has nothing on dowry harassment.

    The Christian Community article states "In our field study, we did not come across dowry deaths, though people narrated to us stories of dowry deaths. However, the evil of dowry cannot be limited to dowry deaths."

    Bhuvan,

    I do not think the rate of conviction at 25% holds true. What if all the women were proven innocent – what then?

    It wouldn't be right for me to begin deciphering the reason for your participation in this thread; I'd be playing a guessing game. Similarly, in trying to ascribe reasons to why women participate in dowry-related crimes, I'd be airing my personal views, which I don't think is what you want. I can't get involved in guessing games when I am asking the thread initiator to present facts.

    Suresh,

    Which specific community do you see being targeted?

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #615620
    "I do not think the rate of conviction at 25% holds true. What if all the women were proven innocent – what then?"
    I don't have any answer for this. I believe in Indian Judiciary and I think it works impartially, without giving special privileges to any particular gender while dealing with dowry harassment cases.

  • #615621
    Precisely my point, but then you had mentioned the 25% remaining the same...
    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #615623
    Your point is Judiciary will leave all the accused women free and my point is Judiciary will convict the accused proportionately without showing any bias.

  • #615624
    OMG! Please read my comment. I said, "If all the women were PROVEN INNOCENT?" Never did I imply that the judiciary would play favourites and leave all the accused women free. You have twisted my words.
    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #615625
    I have never twisted your words. I have elaborated on what you have mentioned. Is it possible that ALL WOMEN will be PROVEN INNOCENT?

  • #615733
    You clearly do not understand the meaning of twisting words. When you take the liberty to elaborate on something that I had mentioned, you give it a twist. Which is exactly what you did?

    "Your point is Judiciary will leave all the accused women free and my point is Judiciary will convict the accused proportionately without showing any bias." Which statement of mine indicates that the judiciary will leave the accused women free?

    You ask if it is possible for 100% women to be proven innocent. Do you doubt the judiciary? If you trust the system then know that it is possible for anyone who is arrested to be acquitted. Conviction happens when there is enough evidence. An arrest does not always mean the person is guilty or that there is enough evidence that proves their guilt. Every case is separate from the other. If 10 women are arrested in different cases, they will be let free, if there is no evidence against them. There and is no question of a bias, my statements did not imply that there was one

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #615737
    I can argue with those, who have a point to discuss. Beating around the bush without resulting in anything won't serve the purpose except sidetracking the main topic of discussion.

  • #615748
    I had explained my stance on the issue in very clear words that I do not wish to play a guessing game. But, you chose to keep it alive by catching on the 25% and twisting my words and ascribing your own meaning to it. You did not understand "exactly my point..."
    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino

  • #615750
    Ok Juana ma'am. If we don't have anything to discuss related to the topic, we can close our discussion.

  • #615759
    I wanted to have a serious discussion in this thread. But some of the responses are such that if any outsider reads the thread and subsequent responses, she/he will be puzzled.
    Caution: Explosive. Handle with care.

  • #615762
    That's the spirit Bhuvan. Cheers!

    Partha,

    A serious discussion cannot be initiated on a false premise.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak" - Michael Garrett Marino


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