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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How do you express your anger to your virtual friend?


    Have you ever been hesitant to express displeasure or anger towards a virtual friend? Get some great tips & suggestions on how to tackle such a situation.



    Internet has made it possible to bring everyone together. Our online interactions make us more friends. The line of thinking, the compatibility and our approach would be more influential in communicating with them and share our views. Thus virtual friendship has dominated many things in our daily routine and it sometimes so happen that we may differ with them on certain issues while exchanging our views. It may make us annoyed but established friendship over a period of time would sometime try to mask our real feelings. In such scenario, how would you express your anger or displeasure?
  • #619677
    It is really difficult to make yourself properly clear to the targeted reader in virtual space. The meaning and interpretation which we have in our mind on using certain words and phrases may not be same what the reader gets on residing it, Sometimes the same effect will not pass on, or the effect may be more than what we intended also. Sometimes w are misunderstood too.That can even strain the relation and invite unwelcome retaliations.
    Many of us might have experienced such situations. The same is also applicable when we are at the receiving end also.

    While we communicate face to face with people, words are supported by tone,gestures,posture and gaze. Thus the communication will be best understood as a totality of all these.

    In virtual communication ,especially in writing alone, there is nothing to moderate or enhance the effect.Everything depends on the reader's comprehension at he time of reading it.
    Use of correct emoticon can bring some effect( again if the other understands it in the same way)

  • #619678
    As Venkiteswaran sir has pointed out, it is absolutely not easy to show your anger to your friend virtually. Normally what I do is I send those angry smileys to show them that I am annoyed. That is the only way one could think.
    I feel that virtually expressing feelings is very hard, you are angry and your anger will not reveal until you keep talking. It can be shown either if you stop talking or write that out.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #619688
    Well we may not express our displeasure with the friends when we are in personal meet or talks, but surely we take the help of smileys or emoticons available in the social media to express our annoy or displeasure with the friends. But again those are temporary phenomenon to which our friends wont take it seriously nor we take it our heart. A friend is the one who is with us in good and bad times and as such we should not get annoyed or over power them for our mistake not understanding them fully. And most my friends would enjoy I am giving dressing down in Urdu language which they cherish.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #619692
    I have to disagree with others at this. Say "I'm hurt by your behaviour " to any of your virtual friends. This will freak them out. Sure, its not easy to express through texting, and because of that exact reason you're friend will be bewildered. If you were speaking face to face I can decode your mind through your expressions which is not possible in a virtual relationship.
    Well, if this doesn't shake them up and they still continue angering me I'll volley on them my inappropriate vocabulary. I have a specialization in swear words. If this doesn't help, warn them about "block".
    If they still continue, block them.
    An un-understanding friend is no friend.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #619694
    We come into contact with many people in this virtual world. All the persons in this virtual world are well educated and accustomed to express their views in a manner befitting the civilized society. We do differ on some issues and have arguments and counter-arguments. Sometimes we get annoyed and likely to use sarcastic and sometimes even harsh words. The best way to communicate without losing our cool in such situations is to address the other person with too much respect by using sir and any other suitable word. There will be some instances where the other person does not listen to reasonable and adamant. In such situations, it is better to communicate in in a terse and pointed manner.
    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #619696
    Internet friendship has an inherent advantage. We can block the annoying person. Not only that, we can also avoid such persons in virtual world. We can also lodge complaint against such persons if his/her activities can be classified as crime.
    Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

  • #619698
    Expressing your anger or dissatisfaction without annoying the other person is an art I think. Many people may not be able to do that. When we have a dialogue face to face you can express your views by expressions or body language even though very politely we talk and use very soft words. Some people deal the issues very diplomatically where as some people will put the things straight forward. They never feel bad to call a spade a spade. Many times these words will hurt the feelings of others. Probably by using very soft words, expressing our views why we annoyed with others actions may be a better approach. Internet friendships are very less connected and any moment if we feel we are not in line with the other person, we can put a stop to it. So probably we need not be very diplomatic in expressing our difference of opinions with others and expressing our views straight. Anyhow it is a blessing to have good internet friends so that we can learn any points from the interaction with them even though we are far away.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #619718
    When it is a friend, why hesitate to convey your anger or displeasure? Be frank! I would say directly "I am angry with you. You hurt me." or "I did not like what you said." Other words I would use if it is not anger as such, but just general irritation or annoyance, would be "I am peeved."

    Between friends, whether in the real world or in the virtual world, I feel that openness goes a long way in clearing misunderstandings that would needlessly create a dent in the friendship. If you just keep quiet, then how will the friend know that you are angry/annoyed, whatever? It is better to convey the reason for it and ask why the friend said such and such a thing or behaved in such and such a manner. More often than not, I have found that it is an incorrect interpretation or idiotic thought which created the misunderstanding. So unless you ask the crucial question ("Why......") how will you know should be the mantra to clear the air, understand the real scenario, forgive if something wrong was done & move on. True friendships are precious - value them, don't let them go. Persist with honest, open dialogue to ensure it remains for the long-term.

    When people come at you with their worst, you should come at them with your best (advice given to Selena Gomez by her mother, quoted in Time magazine.)

  • #619721
    It's not required it should be your friend. If your frank speaking person then you can talk anywhere. Suppose if you find a person who is staying with you is doing something wrong. Then you can talk straightforwardly. Unnecessary showing anger will not work.

  • #619722
    Very simple. Instead of showing our anger or annoyance or emotion by speaking out or through some body language, in a virtual field, to a virtual friend, we can always show our anger or annoyance through writing.
    No life without Sun

  • #619845
    I think it would be more difficult to express our anger towards our virtual friends. In real life, we can at least sit face to face or have a conversation and can modulate our interactions trying to clear the misunderstandings and miscommunications.At least, we have a chance to make peace easily afterwards.If things get out of hand we can get some common friends to help us. If we have a new virtual friend that we have not met, it is difficult to express our anger, if we do it by the traditional way, it would have a chance of offending the opposite person and cause irreparable damage or they might just stop communicating. We need to be more diplomatic, spacing the reply, not sounding too excited or too keen, not promptly replying and complying with their requests, using the terms of an argument and brevity of the replies would be indications that we are upset and not happy. If it's a old internet acquaintance, then we can be frank and have a good discussion and clear all the doubts.

  • #619867
    As mentioned, cute emojis can play a role. They soften the angry words a bit and could be used in place of the angry words itself. For example, when I am really angry I use the one with the smoke coming out of the ears (this was in the Yahoo mail emoticons; not sure if it is there still as not used it since ages.) It tends to convey the anger without affecting the recipient too much as it would if I were to write angrily.

    I also feel that a sincere, simple "Sorry" goes a long way to making amends for hurting or angering your friend which did not have a justified basis for it. Here, a sweet GIF accompanying the apology can also convey a lot.

    When people come at you with their worst, you should come at them with your best (advice given to Selena Gomez by her mother, quoted in Time magazine.)

  • #619868
    Jagdish Patro, is this question has come as an editor of this site or as a member?

    However, I am not agreed with both Venkiteswaran and Vandana. Let me answer it to Venkiteswaran, yes I agree that people think differently, what is your view, may be taken otherwise to different people. However, if someone asked you to clear him/her, if you keep quiet and silent, how the problem will be solved? You are the knowledgeable member with having vast experience, but you too do some err knowingly or unknowingly, it is not that only you can understand and others not. In this case, if anyone gets anger or upset and openly oppose it, the person whom question is asked has the responsibility to answer him/her. he or she just can't keep mum like a fool. I find no reason why one can't show the anger to his/her online friend or enemy.

    Now comes to Vandana, as she says "a simple "sorry" goes long way......" If I go with my experience, even people those who called themselves knowledgeable, feel shy to say "sorry". Instead they keep silent unless someone shake them and make them awake.

    As per me if I am hurt, I will surely let the person know. No matter whether he wants to clear me out or keep silent like an idiot.

  • #619873
    Jeets,

    My thread is purely personal and nothing to do with my role as an Editor. Just wanted the views of our friends for here.

    Regards,
    Jagdish

  • #619878
    That's really good because I was having ready answer for both roles. But I have said it only for the members views. Had it been directed to editors, it would have been different.


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