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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Before death or after death?

    There are old people in the families and generally children take care of them. Some people are not so fortunate and pass their last stage of life in shelter homes or old age homes.
    In some cases children take good care of aged parents and try to serve them as per their capacity and make them happy. On the other hand some people neglect their elders and these elders have a miserable time during the last phase of life.
    When these old people die due to our traditions and culture certain rituals are to be observed along with some religious procedure.
    Some people observe these rituals religiously while others do them reluctantly and even some people totally discard them as irrational or illogical.
    Ironically some of those who neglected their parents observe these religious thing with full show off and spend money for offering food to their friends and relatives. They want to impress the society by this.
    What is better in your opinion - to serve them before death or to pomp and show after death?
  • #621172
    it is obvious that serving the elders before their death in their old age is the best deed one can do instead of showing our richness and gratitude towards our elders to the society after their death, When they are alive without even taking care of their parents and made them suffer even for their food, what us the of offering food to people to show your greatness on the occasion of the death of those elders.
    It is our duty to take care of the parents and other elders in their old age and see that they are happy to the extent possible by us. Not only paying monthly some money for them, but also holding their hand and see that they are safe is the duty of the young generation in the family. But after the death of the elders performing the rituals for the parents and elders is the belief in general and one can perform as their belief and capacity. There are many people who perform these rituals.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #621226
    A good thought provoking thread, I've seen this myself, on the day they observe the thithi or death ceremony, everything the departed soul will be prepared, sometimes even a little wine or alcohol, if the person liked it. Elaborate poojas will be done, food offered to the crows and then with great devotion the family eats it hoping that the departed soul would be happy. In contrast, the blessed soul would be laughing as during the lifetime, the person would have struggled to get a cup of coffee or good breakfast in peace without people commenting how much of a burden they are. No doubt, agree that such rituals are meaningless unless we take care of the elders during the last few years.
    If the elders have to suffer daily abuse at the hands of the son and daughter-in-law, I personally feel at least they should be placed in an old age home. May sound cruel, but it's even crueller to suffer at the hands of our own children that strangers at this stage of our lives. The most practical solution is to have some property or money in the names of the elderly couple and ensure that it legally passes on to the people looking after them until their call comes.

  • #621227
    Age old people need love and care from their children. Those who are not able to do so, without giving a single minute to their old father or mother, they get nothing in hand. Later on, the same thing will come over them, as history repeats itself, then they will realize the value of not giving attention to their old parents and the family. There is no point showing off during their cremation and showing those fake tears, God knows the truth very well.
    One should always think about their old parents, care for them, speak with goodness to them, they need nothing but our time and attention. They have helped the children grow and nourished them, it is the duty of the children to understand their deeds.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #621229
    My grandmother (my father's mother's sister) lives alone most of the time, I have observed her pain. The people of her family comes home, there is just no discussion on the daily life, how was the day or about if she ate food or not. My grandmother just stays in her room all the time, feeling the loneliness inside her. My chacha and chachi both are busy in their work. My grandmother cooks food for herself, washer her clothes and does almost everything she can. We also sometimes ask her to come over to us and stay for a month or two, but because of her age, she is not able to climb the stairs as our house is on third floor. Due to her age, now she is not able to adjust with the climatic conditions also, so she hardly comes to stay with us now. She feels lonely at her own home because my uncle does not talk to her even for a single minute, the love and care is just nowhere, which she deserves or needs, so she is getting more and more ill day by day. This becomes the condition of our parents who love us and support us throughout their life, without thinking of their pain even for a single minute. They need our love and attention, we should think of it.
    Do what inspires you !!

  • #621236
    We are duty bound and has the high responsibility to serve the elders at the home and even in our society. Elders are those who are in the fag end of their lives and want to see some good behavior in the children with little caring attitude. If you care and talk politely with elders, see how good they feel and bless you with their abundant love and affection and that will help you to achieve all the things in life. It is said that those who does the rituals after the death of a person, the children of the person would have good and contended life. Probably for that reason people who wont care elders during their life, would do their death rituals with much spending to show off to others as to how they cared the elders when they were alive. One thing is sure if you care your elders, your children would care you during your old age.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease


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